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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say this to angry couple regarding hand luggage?

50 replies

jammygem · 23/07/2014 13:18

Last week I flew back from a lovely holiday in Spain with Ryanair. The flight was fully booked and so most hand luggage had to be put in the hold. The couple in front of me were having a right go at the poor girl handing out the labels, telling her she's being ridiculous/all Ryanair staff are incompetent/they always have problems at Murcia, what is she going to do about it? etc. They were really quite aggressive (IMO) and she was visible upset by them.

I'd had enough, so in the middle of their tirade I went up and asked if she was OK, then pointed out to the couple that it clearly states on their boarding pass that if the flight is near capacity some of the hand luggage will be put in the hold, and that shouting at someone for just doing their job isn't going to get them anywhere. The man then told me I was being ridiculous to defend the girl, but they did finally agree for their handluggage to be put in the hold.

I was on holiday with my friend, and now she won't stop saying how rude I was and how I shouldn't have got involved. I understand that maybe I didn't need to say anything, but I just felt so bad for the poor girl they were ranting at. My friend says she was really embarrassed and told me that she actually apologised to the couple for me when she saw them in the UK airport. Was I really that out of order?

OP posts:
Wonc · 23/07/2014 13:21

You were right .

UnderIce · 23/07/2014 13:22

Hard to tell, we're only hearing your side of it. I'm inclined to think maybe you were a bit aggressive if your FRIEND says so, surely she would have been more supportive of your stance if it was justified.

It's done now though. There are two scenarios here (1) you were right to defend someone being abused by the customers and your "friend" cannot cope with confrontation and didn't support your view or (2) you were over the top and your friend called you on it, only you can decide.

Crinkle77 · 23/07/2014 13:23

I think I would also be annoyed at my friend for apologising on my behalf.

Electriclaundryland · 23/07/2014 13:24

Sounds like 1 to me.

MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 13:27

That friend would no longer be my friend. How dare she apologise for you?

Original poster
jammygem · 23/07/2014 13:27

To be honest I think I scared my friend a bit - I'm usually very passive and quiet, and would never normally dare confront someone like that. But working for a shit company myself and having to deal with all the customer complaints, I just saw red when they were laying into her.

I didn't shout though, I was just quite stern but factual - or so I thought.

Yeah, Crinkle, that's what I was annoyed about at first, but then it made me think that maybe I really had been out of order.

OP posts:
HecatePropylaea · 23/07/2014 13:28

Your friend thinks YOU were rude?

Not the people who were being breathtakingly rude to the poor woman just doing her job?

Your friend thinks people doing their jobs are not deserving of courtesy then?

I would hit the roof if someone apologised to a pair of ignorant arseholes because I challenged their bad behaviour.

In your shoes, I would tell your friend that the only rude people were the couple having the tantrum and you are not sorry that you said something and if that's how she thinks people doing their job should be treated then she's not the person you thought she was.

GingerBlondecat · 23/07/2014 13:38

In my eyes YOU are a lovely kind and I want to be your Friend.

the 'friend' with you is the reason bad behaviour is allowed to rampage freely

PhantomTollbooth · 23/07/2014 13:40

Good for you. I like people who stand up for others.

Mordirig · 23/07/2014 13:46

Your friend is not your friend and she is also rude how dare she apologise on your behalf what a fucking cheek, she your mother is she? Angry

maras2 · 23/07/2014 13:48

Well done OP.I'd like to think that I'd do the same.Your friend's batshit and very rude to have apologised on your behalf.

MarchEliza · 23/07/2014 13:49

If things happened exactly as you described then I can't see why you were being rude.

As others have said, if I had been in this situation I would be fuming with my friend for apologising to the dreadful people.

Original poster
jammygem · 23/07/2014 13:59

Thanks everyone. I might have a word with my friend and see exactly what it was that she thought made me seem rude...

Now I've got the confirmation that IWNBU I'm kinda pissed off with her apologising for me Angry

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 23/07/2014 14:16

I would be pissed off with her. However when my dh has acted like a twat I've apologised although he has been convinced he was in the right.
From your op Yanbu,your friend may have a different perspective.

hoboken · 23/07/2014 14:16

Good for you! I would have done the same. Your friend needs to agree to disagree and get over it.

EllaFitzgerald · 23/07/2014 14:40

I would imagine that the girl they were shouting at was very grateful and I would be furious at my friend for apologising on my behalf.

Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2014 14:48

If the woman, customer service rep, couldn't handle the situation then she had the option of call

TheLovelyBoots · 23/07/2014 14:50

I would say something if I saw a customer being verbally abusive to a staff person. They can't really defend themselves, it's not a fair fight.

Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2014 14:52

Sorry, calling over a senior/manager,

It really was none of your business, they may of had a point if they were carrying Meds etc.

How would you feel if you had a point when complaining about a situation and someone waded in, in a bullying manner?

It's bad enough dealing with arsehole security guards, at times, let alone members of the public thinking they can stick their oar in.

If your friend apologised, you could of been more aggressive than you realise.

Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2014 14:55

""They can't really defend themselves, it's not a fair fight.""

Yes they can, surround by security in an airport, wereas someone just demanding good customer service, not so much against someone more aggressive.

Depends on whether you generally like intimidating others.

NoodleOodle · 23/07/2014 15:01

I would be mighty pissed off with the 'friend' apologising on your behalf- that would be fall out fodder for me.

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 15:02

Sounds like the couple were trying to bully and intimidate to get their own way (ie we are special, you need to make an exception for us) and I agree that you did the right thing and that more of us should stand up and defend people who are being verbally abused like this.

We all get frustrated, we do not all act like entitled arses. Those who do need to be called on it more often so they know they are BU

DoJo · 23/07/2014 15:07

What did she say when you asked if she was ok? Had she not pointed out the details on their boarding card?

Having worked in customer facing roles, I would have hated it if someone had joined in in this way during a discussion with a customer. It undermines the employee and opens the door to a larger dispute which is always a nightmare. There were always protocols to follow in escalating complaints and getting another customer involved would have been the last thing anyone would have wanted, but in that position it is hard enough to deal with the initial complaint without having to devote additional time to a third party.

doobledootch · 23/07/2014 15:10

I think you were being a bit rude, the conversation wasn't really anything to do with you and if the Ryanair worker had needed help she could have escalated the problem, your intervention really signalled that you didn't think she was capable of doing her job properly, she works for Ryanair so dealing with pissed off people will very much be part of her job.

That said, your friend really shouldn't have apologised on your behalf and I can see your intentions were good.

Itsfab · 23/07/2014 15:11

You were right and your friend is a prat. How dare she apologise for you anyway, never mind when it wasn't necessary.

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