To say this to angry couple regarding hand luggage?

[jammygem]

Last week I flew back from a lovely holiday in Spain with Ryanair. The flight was fully booked and so most hand luggage had to be put in the hold. The couple in front of me were having a right go at the poor girl handing out the labels, telling her she's being ridiculous/all Ryanair staff are incompetent/they always have problems at Murcia, what is she going to do about it? etc. They were really quite aggressive (IMO) and she was visible upset by them.

I'd had enough, so in the middle of their tirade I went up and asked if she was OK, then pointed out to the couple that it clearly states on their boarding pass that if the flight is near capacity some of the hand luggage will be put in the hold, and that shouting at someone for just doing their job isn't going to get them anywhere. The man then told me I was being ridiculous to defend the girl, but they did finally agree for their handluggage to be put in the hold.

I was on holiday with my friend, and now she won't stop saying how rude I was and how I shouldn't have got involved. I understand that maybe I didn't need to say anything, but I just felt so bad for the poor girl they were ranting at. My friend says she was really embarrassed and told me that she actually apologised to the couple for me when she saw them in the UK airport. Was I really that out of order?

Personally, I think you were right. Your friend should not have apologised for you - you did nothing wrong, imo.

You were right, your friend is ridiculous and a complete and utter wimp.

You were right. Too many people stand by whilst rude, arrogant uppity numpties shout and bully their way through life. Well done

It's not a fair fight, an employee can never react proportionally to a rude customer. It's a serious character flaw to get aggressive with someone who is just doing their job.

Did your intervention lead to the matter ending sooner than if you had not intervened?

If it did you were right!

OK, fair enough, I was BU - I hadn't thought of it from the Ryanair staff's point of view - all I saw was a couple getting angry, aggressive and shouting and thought she could use a little back up. Now I realise it wasn't my place to say anything and I really hope she didn't think I thought she was incapable of doing her job - that wasn't the case at all!

I feel really bad now

You weren't being rude. At least your intervention came from a position of wanting to stand up for somebody you thought was being intimidated and bullied. Your intentions were good and kind ones.

That is no bad thing so don't feel bad.

I would have done as you did, and I think your friend was wrong to apologise on your behalf.

I think its reasonably easy to tell when someone is calm and has a handle on the situation, and when they're become flustered and upset by it, which it sounds like the staff member was.

I had people stand up for me a few times when I was a young, shy, socially awkward waitress being shouted at, and I hold a warm place in my heart for them and people like them. It reminds you that you are human too, and yes you do deserve respect even if you can't demand it in a customer-facing role.

I think you did the right thing.

I don't think you should feel bad!!

Having worked in Customer service - people can be so rude. They deserved being brought up on.

Just because it's your job - doesn't mean people should speak to you like shit.

AND AND!! Employees have to stick to the rules for they will get in trouble. The woman may have thought the rules were stupid herself.

YWNBU - and I bet the employee was glad you stood up for her in a way that she couldn't. She probably went home and told her family the story of the aggressive creeps and the nice lady who told them off - and as a PP said, she'll remember you kindly.

It's a bit worrying that she was visibly upset and that she hadn't called for assistance.
Tbh I don't think it's your place to involve yourself unless it's to stop some kind of assault.
I would be livid if you did that to me, either side of the argument.

Sorry, but if it's meant to be hand luggage, that's what it should be. If you chose to go hand luggage only, it's because you don't want to piss around collecting it after the flight. If an airline cant honour the requirement, it shouldn't be offered.

Hard to know whether or not you should have intervened, but your friend should have stuck by you and admired you for trying to do the right thing, not go and apologize to rude strangers for what you have tried to do.

So, I don't know about the airport scene but I would be questioning that friendship.

I don't think you did the right thing as such as it wasn't your place and as others have said it can undermine the staff if people get involved, however you certainly weren't rude and your friend shouldn't have apologised.

To all the posters who are saying "this was none of your business" there are two worlds-one where we ignore problems that other people are having, burying our heads in the newspaper/smartphone/e-reader or one where we try and help our fellow man/woman. I know which world I would prefer to live in.

Oh goodness, don't feel bad about standing up for the poor girl who was being shouted at! She was probably quite relieved that someone helped her out, otherwise she would have said to you "it's all right, thanks, I've got this" or similar.

I don't think you were being rude either, tbh - I think you were being a good person who was standing up to people being unnecessarily loud, aggressive and overbearing to someone only trying to do their job.

Your friend might have been mortified but she's probably the sort who would look away if they saw someone being attacked in the street, and say "not my business" rather than trying to help; whereas you are the sort of person who would try and help and maybe save someone's life. Not this time, but that's clearly your type of reaction.

I can't believe your friend had the utter cheek to apologise to the bullies for you! I'd be pretty pissed off with her for that.

You were right. I was in a restaurant at the weekend, where a drunk group were being hideously rude to the waiting staff. I was itching to get up and tell them to fuck off. I wish I'd had your guts.

Your friend probably hates confrontation and was embarrassed by being involved - by association.

YANBU to intervene in the situation described, I find it hard not to intervene if someone is being abused. If it's in the small print and the Ryanair employee is following procedure then the angry couple should have done what the rest of us would have done. An irritated internal sigh. I'd never give in to angry behaviour because 'winning' only encourages them to do it again next time they're in a similar situation and I've met enough of this in 20+ years in customer facing roles (healthcare and service industry). For every loud shouty person who gets the exception there's a quiet polite person who misses out on even the chance.

Your friend is a prat and should not have apologised but was possibly working within her own extremely daft limitations with social interactions.

I'm glad there are people like you who stick up for others. Minding one's own business can be overrated. Most bullying depends on bystanders not intervening. This is no different when we are adults, operating in the workplace.

OP

Well, we weren't there. You could have come across as harsher than you meant.

I've done that before, when I'm irritated and I lecture someone. I'm usually pretty blunt, so I don't dance around why I'm upset. I've learned to scale it back and just do a calm lecture without sounding too harsh. It's an art form to finesse the right level of anger/irritation without making sound like you're over reacting.

But your friend still shouldn't have apologized. She's not your keeper, and your actions don't reflect on her.

You did the right thing, OP. The world needs more people like you who stick up for others, not fewer

your intentions were good but I think you should have left the girl to do her job. if she wasn't quick to diffuse the situation then it's best she learns how as when you are in a customer facing role you will always get idiots shouting at you.

It’s the start of the holiday season, managers probably aren’t that easily (or quickly) located. I can imagine what it must have been like for that poor Ryanair employee, sitting at the check-in desk being abused by two adults. If they needed to have their bags with them because of some reason they should have explained this, calmly and succinctly. If they found this didn’t get the response they desire, then they should request to speak to a manager. Shouting at someone is not how reasonable people behave, especially when it denigrates into personal attacks against someone who can’t defend themselves for fear of losing their job.

OP, I’m glad you had the balls to say something. Yes, travelling can be stressful, but people like this need to catch themselves on and take a long hard look at themselves.