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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be hurt that I never get an ounce of sympathy from DH if I'm ill?

78 replies

footnerfan · 22/07/2014 16:27

Just want to start by saying that I'm rarely ill, however I've been unwell for the past few days. It started with a migraine at the weekend and I now have a horrible virus that both DCs had a couple of weeks ago. I feel horrible, and it's an effort to just put one foot in front of the other. Luckily I work part time from home so I've been able to take a few days' off work.

The problem is DH. He never gives me any sympathy at all if I feel unwell. If I ever say I feel ill he just doesn't reply to me. I think it's because he doesn't want to have to do anything in the house and with the DCs so he thinks if he doesn't acknowledge it then I'll just carry on. He knows full well that I'm not feeling very well this week but hasn't once answered me when I've mentioned it, and won't do a thing to help out. He is always the same but for me this time is the straw that broke the camel's back. I am absolutely exhausted today and in all honesty I should be in bed, but it will be up to me to do teatime, tidying up, bathtime, homework and everything else, so I can't.

When I had our youngest child DH said I could have a couple of days of sitting doing nothing then I had to just get on with it. And he meant it. After 2 days he just left everything to me even though I was recovering from a PPH and then severe mastitis. And once a few years ago I had a stomach bug and DH kept saying that it was all in the mind and that I needed to make the effort to feel better. I only stayed in bed for one day!

AIBU to be hurt and feel totally unloved and neglected?

OP posts:
ChoccaDoobie · 23/07/2014 13:57

Anyway, what I wanted to add is that I was never very ill so it didn't matter. Now, some 10 years on she has had serious health problems and I have been very kind and sympathetic towards her so when I beccame ill a couple of years ago she could sort of see how unreasonable she was being. Things really did improve. I honestly think if she had been as nasty and uncaring as your partner has been I would have left her.

I just cannot understand people not being caring towards others when they are ill. It seems so nasty to me.

ChoccaDoobie · 23/07/2014 13:59

I agree with Aeroflot and others really. You need to tell him very firmly how you feel and how you expect him to behave. I really hope you feel better soon.

twizzleship · 23/07/2014 16:26

why on earth are you with him?! did you lose your self respect,self worth and brain cells when you met him? he's a father and a husband...if he 'doesn't want' the responsibility that comes with that then get rid of him.

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