AIBU - can everyone lower the emotional tone!

[sunshineandshowers]

Aibu?

I have one leaving infant school and one leaving preschool.

The head teacher was in tears at the leavers assembly yesterday, photo montages with soppy music, children in tears etc.

At preschool one of the teachers just told me I'm going to have a sad girl on my hands tomorrow. Children all bringing in sweets, drama lama.

Can all the adults just lower the emotional tone? We set the tone and they feed off of us. It's the same with the lead up to Christmas. So Aibu and should everyone get a grip!

You shouldn't get them because you do, either usual.
When I left primary in the dark ages in 1976 there were people who cried and people who didn't. Nobody seemed to expect to, but equally if you did it was OK.

The only time my parents cried was my graduation ceremony. I don't get it either to be honest. Your kids are moving on to bigger and better things, isn't that a reason to celebrate and be happy?

Nothing wrong with parents or teachers feeling a bit nostalgic as a group of children move on to a new phase. Or for children to feel a bit sad at leaving friends or a favourite teacher behind.

But I agree that a lot of emotion seems to be whipped up nowadays about relatively minor events.

Anyway, I'm just welling up here, so I'd better go.

I think my issue usual is with the schools and teachers whipping up the emotion unnecessarily and with twee american nonsense like nursery graduation and high school bloody prom

No I am not at all sneering at mums and dads having a weep. It's our children moving onto a new phase.

It's the schools and preschools. Just make it positive and looking forward, not maudlin.

I actually think the nursery graduation certificates and pics are lovely. DD was really excited to run out and give me hers (they didn't have a ceremony attended by the parents or anything). Anything that makes children feel confident, proud and recognises their achievements/journey I'm all for.

I did see a few mums crying and was a bit as they are going into the reception class next door in September not leaving the country .

I'm a fairly emotional person but still not given to public displays. I can be watching something and feeling it immensely and still not cry. I find other people crying puts me off. I didn't cry at my dads funeral.
I didn't cry at my sisters funeral until the geezer said 'so now let's raise and imaginary glass and smile at all the good times' and I lost it

I'm weird

YANBU.
I can't stand it all.
I am dreading tomorrow because DS is finishing school (and moving to a new one in September). He has ASD and gets very, very upset and emotional if he is not handled properly.

I do not have confidence that the school will handle it properly. All that weeping and wailing and hand flapping in front of facing and 'I promised I wouldn't cry' business.

He will come home and trash his bedroom and scream for three hours.

So that will be nice

Fortunately my two youngest ones are utterly unperturbed at leaving nursery/year one and walked out of nursery/school without a backward glance.

I agree!
I've just waved off the most wonderful year six class I've ever taught and was called "cold" by a colleague for not crying. Why would I? They've done us proud and and are now moving on!

DD and I were both like that when left infants, at juniors it was the opposite.

I think it's important not to do the traditional stiff upper lip thing. Showing emotion shows that your children can too. Just because you're not bothered, doesn't mean everyone shares your view.

But "stiff upper lip" implies suppressing emotion because it's just the done thing. Whereas many people just don't feel a particular sadness in these circumstances.

When I picked DS up from nursery last Friday many of the Year 6s were in tears. With one or two exceptions they will all be going to the same high school. I don't remember my last day of year 6 so I doubt I was particularly upset at the time; I think I was ready to go to high school. I remember getting teachers to sign our thesauruses and that is about it. We never had any class photos never mind a graduation ceremony. But then I worry I'm not a very emotional person; I didn't cry when DS started nursery and doubt I will when he goes to school.

Joysmum
It not about being 'not bothered'.

It's just perfectly possible to feel emotion with weeping. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't. I just don't have a template - significant date = crying

When ds1 finished primary and everyone was crying I was just a bit bewildered. I wept like a thing possessed at ds2s school play when someone else's kid was singing!

YANBU.

It should all be about positive looking towards the future, or talking about the strengths each one has and what they may go on to do.

Instead it is all photo montages of the past, reading out memories and sad music. It is like being at a funeral.

And I actually do struggle with my kids being older, those years being gone etc. I could do without having it made worse by the school trying to make it more sad and depressing with people crying all over the place.

YANBU. DS wept like a baby on his last day, as did most if his class and his teacher. In fact she set them all off BUT she had taught them for 3 years and had delayed her mat leave to be there for them on the last day so she was effectively a very very pregnant puddle by the time the bell rang
The whole week was geared up to it with leavers assembly, prom, final open morning, final this that and the other and it got too much for them all.
I do agree that it's become all too expected to weep publicly as well, and anyone who doesn't is looked in strangely.
It's not about not caring and it's perfectly possible to be moved emotionally without tears.

My dc are at a US school - so I completely agree with what posters are saying about the school "whipping up" emotional frenzy. I had to sit through some video montage with drippy music of the leavers -- (which included photos of them on the school trip to protest against abortion!) and it felt more like something you would see at a memorial service.

Life without a montage is a life half lived.. It's just not real

YANBU

I almost pissed myself laughing when DD left primary at the state of some of the kids, mainly girls, crying so much they had big snot bubbles etc.

Most of them were spending the summer hols in and out of each others houses and all going to the same secondary school. I just don't get it.

I did get some evil looks from distraught looking parents though

YANBU! I used to teach Y6 and the girls used to have a competition to see who could get the most emotional .

I remember one year I had a girl in my class who's mum had died 3 years previously and she was utterly unimpressed by the OOT weeping - and I was with her.

We used to have some awful emotional song to sing too but myself and my TA came up with a much more upbeat and fun to sing instead to tone things down a little!

I cried when my DS left pre school last week but I did it on my own not in front of him - he's bloody delighted!