How did you find out your DH was cheating?

[ElvisLove]

As you'll guess from my title, I suspect something might be going on with my DH. I'm not sure why. He is away a lot with work but I have nothing to go on except a feeling.

He has a separate bank account, a work phone that I do not have the password to, and is away once a fortnight for a few nights at a time. He is often a little late home from work.

I have had access to the bank account and phone in the past and have never found anything on them to be concerned about.

If you have been in my position, how did things come to light?

Hmm, he lost weight, started to go on lots more 'works nights out,' he started being quite short with me over minor things, he got very possessive over his phone, spent ages 'checking FB' and 'playing scrabble' on his phone. He stopped chatting to me, just talked about day to day stuff and he stopped having sex with me.

I knew something was up but was in denial. I finally confronted him and asked if he was having an affair with X, he denied it completely, but said he didn't love me anymore but wanted to work on it with counselling etc.

It didn't ring true. Three weeks later I managed to get hold of his phone and found his secret email account and all their sordid sexting. He left that day, married X two years later. We had been together 22 years, married for 15 with 3 DC.

Not my DH, but my twatty, bastarding ex boyfriend. There were a few incidents so I've had to really cast my mind back. The biggest one was when he was working 'extra shifts' and being weird about his phone. I'd been through his phone before and found new numbers in there under girls names. But I rumbled that one so he had to work smarter (no, I have no idea why on earth I stayed with him) and he saved 'her' number under 'withheld'. So when she rang it simply said 'withheld'. Genius. One night we were driving back from a weekend away, he was driving and he'd left his precious phone in the centre console. When it rang and 'withheld' flashed up so I went to answer it. He grabbed it and threw it into the back of the car, all the way to the back and so hard that it smashed.

I guess that's how I knew for sure.

Wow Granny

Yes it was a fun day, she got a bit arsey with me as she wanted me to pay for her abortion and I declined.

oh this is an old thread!

Not DH but DM and sleazebag father...

• lots of contact with work colleague ‘Graham Lee’ on work phone - think surname and first name ’cleverly’ switched around to make a male person..
• Joint bank account had about £100 in one month as top up credit on a phone.. both phones were on contract, so had a secret phone.
• weird playlist on his iPod with songs about lovers who couldn’t be together. Including ‘When Love Takes Over’ by Kelly Rowland and ‘Everytime We Touch’ by Cascada 😂

And worst of all:

• Mum was working nightshift, he text her saying he was matching MOTD drifting off on the sofa, she had a gut feeling so left work.. he wasn’t at home

• FB hacked and everything she suspected was there

She drove down to where he was working away in Bristol and confronted him with all the evidence she had printed. And he still had the cheek to deny it!

My poor DM, she was obviously devastated after over 20 years together. It broke her. But luckily my Dstepdad is a brilliant guy and it practically my dad.

Oh shit, zombie thread!!

Guess there's no point waiting for the OP to come back then