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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU on this hen night?

59 replies

comediewithme · 21/07/2014 10:35

I was invited to a hen night, was told it was £25 and bride would be taking the money on the night.

I arrived and went on the night out last weekend. Obviously the bride had everyone buzzing around her so I waited for a quiet moment as she was outside having a cigarette and offered her the money. I only had £30. I said Sorry I haven't got the change, take the £30 and just have the fiver extra as drink money. I was pretty adamant about this as I didnt want her to be out of pocket on her hen. She told me, No no no, save it and give it to me another time.

Fine I thought, I will see her in the week so will give it to her then. However on sunday morning her fiance posted a really horrible FB update about people expecting a night out for free Shock I messaged and said I hope you don't mean me, and he said yes, I mean you. I explained about my conversation with the bride and he said I should have forced her to take the money.

Anyway, I dropped a card round that day with the exact money in it saying sorry but perhaps I misunderstood when she said she was happy to wait until another time for it, and I havent heard another word from her on the subject. She has text about other things like meeting up but nothing about the card or the money Confused

WIBU?

OP posts:
fedupbutfine · 21/07/2014 11:06

I'd be grateful you're not the one marrying him if I were you. Distance yourself until some kind of acknowledgement of the oney having been received is given.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/07/2014 11:06

Not sure I'd be going after being treated like that by the pair of them.

PrimalLass · 21/07/2014 11:15

I would have answered in full on Facebook to say this. He is a dick.

Unexpected · 21/07/2014 11:15

I'd be declining that invitation and finding something really important to do on the day - like returning their wedding present for a refund! Seriously, that is so rude - have you spoken to any of the other attendees about it?

Original poster
comediewithme · 21/07/2014 11:16

So its pretty unanimous I wasn't BU then. I've just sent a text saying Just checking you got my card?

Lets see what I get!

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 21/07/2014 11:24

Whats the money for?

I didnt know they were supposed to be given money on hen dos?

Sianilaa · 21/07/2014 11:41

I'd be furious! YANBU!

If she doesn't apologise/acknowledge the money then I wouldn't be going to the wedding if it was me. If he had such a problem with it, why not send you a message asking for the money instead of a crappy PA FB status?!

NatashaBee · 21/07/2014 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OHforDUCKScake · 21/07/2014 12:12

I went to a hen do on Saturday and we werent expected to pay the bride to be. I dont understand why we would?

stripedtortoise · 21/07/2014 12:14

Only utter morons post that kind of thing as a status update. You were NU at all and sound lovely!

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:14

What kind of a dick posts something like that?

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:15

Poor her, marrying a dick

Original poster
comediewithme · 21/07/2014 12:28

We were paying the bride as she had to prebook the table with a deposit. It was £25 including dinner and the entertainment.

OP posts:
Original poster
comediewithme · 21/07/2014 12:30

She has replied with 'Yes I got the card. Thankyou x' Although if I hadnt asked, would she have said anything? Probably not. She has been known to just walk out of a place if asked about something she doesn't want to talk about.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/07/2014 12:39

She sounds a barrel of laughs too.

Are you going to tell her about his wanky behaviour?

Littleturkish · 21/07/2014 12:42

I would reply: I'm glad you got it. I don't know why you didn't accept the money on the night, or why F put that message on FB and then sent me the PM. In future, please just tell me if there is a problem.

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:44

Agree Littleturkish

Mouthfulofquiz · 21/07/2014 12:48

I would imagine she is a bit embarrassed... I wouldn't be marrying an arsehole like that personally. Why do people marry grown men that behave like this? No self respect?

Rhine · 21/07/2014 12:50

He sounds like a right cunt. I'm afraid I wouldn't leave it at that, tell them to shove their wedding invite up their arse.

MyFairyKing · 21/07/2014 12:51

YANBU. I'm angry on your behalf, mostly because I detest those sorts of wanky FB messages. I would retain the moral high ground and not say anything further. Unless she's a great friend in all other aspects, I'd quietly phase her out.

SlothNinja · 21/07/2014 12:51

He might be an asshole, but he wouldn't get so wound up if the bride hadn't had a good old winge would he?

Littleturkish · 21/07/2014 12:53

Sloth, maybe- or he is financially abusive and interrogated her about the money and she lied...

I would have to challenge it, and I wouldn't be going to the wedding.

fluffymouse · 21/07/2014 12:54

It was incredibly passive aggressive of the fiance.

You have done nothing wrong.

Is he usually a twat?

OneSkinnyChip · 21/07/2014 12:56

And she's your friend why exactly...?

MildDrPepperAddiction · 21/07/2014 13:00

Ywnbu. I hope you tell them to fuck off if they expect you to go to the wedding!