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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's the last day of term, AIBU to want to emigrate (without kids)

147 replies

Doingakatereddy · 18/07/2014 08:35

7 weeks, yes 7 whole weeks of 14 hour days with DS (4) and DD (16 months) and for some stupid reason I'm a SAHM

I want to cry and wail, run away and never see a park / soft play ever again

Tell me I will cope, I've seen the frenzied eyes of mums before in the summer hols but nothing prepares you for the fear.

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 18/07/2014 19:24

It takes all sorts doesn't it?

Some people relish all that unstructured time with their dc, whereas others (like me) who much prefer the routine and the wee bit of head space that term time provides.

We all have to do what works for us.

I don't think littlejohnny is sad for missing her dc when they are at school and I don't think it's sad that doing is dreading it either.

Timetoask · 18/07/2014 19:33

I sympathize op, but it will get easier as they get older and more independent.
I love spending time with my 7 year old DS he is great fun and very sporty which suits me, on the other hand I am dreading spending time with my older DS who has special needs and whom I love dearly but boy does he need attention! Very draining.

Balaboosta · 18/07/2014 19:37

I dread it too - but when it arrives I find I settle into it. It's lovely not to have the rush in the mornings and school pick-up hanging over you all day. I think the thing is not to try to do too much.

ChickenFajitaAndNachos · 18/07/2014 19:39

I also agree it gets easier as they get older. I found school holidays hard when I had toddlers ( I had an older one at school) and all their little clubs stopped running. I missed the structure of nursery and toddler groups on different days of the week and the ease of meeting a friend at a group, having a social and getting out the house.
I still loved my kids.
I can honestly say once my younger DC got to 4 and 5 school holidays became and still are the best part of the year.

IdkickJilliansAss · 18/07/2014 19:57

Some real asses on this thread, how could you tell a complete stranger she doesn't like her kids Mommy2ash? Your user name says it all really. It is totally normal to feel daunted and I agree with ChickenFajita it does get easier as they get older and you get to know more people, they will be more able to do more craft stuff etc with you without getting frustrated, you will be able to go swimming. The park is your friend and try and meet up with others in he same boat

mummytime · 18/07/2014 20:08

As a kid I used to love exploring and visiting different parks.
Lots of local museums, libraries and even shopping centres run little activities. There can often be things like Bans concerts in the park or city beaches.
Picnics can be got together pretty cheaply, and taken to have a cheap day out. Open spaces can also be a good way of seeing wildlife (pigeons, ducks, squirrels).
Bus trips in cities are often pretty cheap and can be fun (in my experience buses are far more expensive in the countryside).
Do you have any friends? Try to arrange a few joint cheap trips, or even a child share so one takes the older ones to an activity while the other looks after the littlies.

ladygracie · 18/07/2014 20:48

I couldn't agree with you more I'dkick. How is it helpful to wax lyrical about what fabulous parents you are when someone is really struggling? And the most sanctimonious people didn't even offer helpful suggestions.
I hope you've got some ideas op. The suggestion of having something to do every day is excellent and will make such a difference.

IdkickJilliansAss · 18/07/2014 20:53

It's almost as if they wanted to hijack someone elses worry to show what fantastic 'mommies' they are, but surely not?? What IS little johnny doing whilst they are belittling people on the internet? Having a fag I bet! Grin

stopgap · 18/07/2014 20:58

I'm at home with my boys, ages three and six months, and I love the bones of them, but I do relish breaks! My mother-in-law comes in one afternoon, and I have a sitter two afternoons. The break coincides with afternoon nap time, and I get two precious hours to go food shopping unhindered (love!) or go out for a run or (shouts loud and proud) back to bed for a nap. Small breaks boost endurance and enthusiasm tenfold.

mommy2ash · 18/07/2014 21:07

i don't think anyone is a perfect parent but i genuinely don't understand the holiday dread that i read about a lot not just from the op. it hasn't even started yet so not as if she is already finding it hard but anticipating not being able to cope. what is the absolute worst that could happen?

i agree that planning little things to do each day passes the time. take the time to visit some relatives. is there a beach nearby? picnics at the park. any attractions nearby, look out for special offers or sign up to local amusements email notifications and often they send out special offers via that. a paddling pool in the garden.

if you have the opportunity to have a break then take it and enjoy your free time everyone needs a break. if you have a friend with kids you could alternate who has the kids over.

IdkickJilliansAss · 18/07/2014 21:14

That's a big leap from 'You must not like your kids' isn'i it 'Mommy' [Hmm]

Panzee · 18/07/2014 21:15

I don't dread it for me but the boys find it hard to be with each other 24/7 when they're used to having their own spaces during the day. Agree to a mini plan each day.

Original poster
Doingakatereddy · 18/07/2014 21:27

I love and like my kids, but I'm also realistic that when they are up at 5.30am & don't stop till 7.30pm.

It's such a long time to fill, and what more it's hard. They're good kids but don't play together yet, my DS is adorable but very attention demanding & struggles to play alone.

This doesn't mean they are bad behaved, I'm proud to say far from it. But they are hard work.

All our kids are different, mine are amazing, beautiful, funny little people who are my world but my goodness 14 hours a day for 7 weeks with no break just floors me.

I'm going to start planning activity each day & take advantage of local free things. Thanks for advice

OP posts:
IdkickJilliansAss · 18/07/2014 21:32

You and your kids sound entirely normal to me OP Thanks

ladygracie · 18/07/2014 21:40

Oh yes very very normal. Sometimes the dread of it is worse than the actuality so hopefully that will be the case for you.
My kids are actually much worse in terms of getting on if they've been apart for any significant amount of time. It's like they need a settling back in period. Very annoying to experience though!

HumpsForHalfMile · 18/07/2014 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Engol · 18/07/2014 22:15

I've always hated theses threads. Honestly I would never have had 1 child let alone 3 if I couldn't have hacked their company 24/7.
Lol at the " it gets easier as they get older" line. Small kids are a walk in the park compared to teens, but it's what I signed up for and expected, not sure what goes on in some peoples head when planning a family.

It's a good job you don't live in Ireland, my eldest two broke up 25th May and youngest 25 th June.

littlemissminime · 18/07/2014 22:18

I'm dreading it and I'm in work! No holidays planned because the people at work with NO kids have booked all the time off so no I have two kids having to get up at the crack of dawn to go spend their 6 weeks holidays at nans cause I'm too skint to afford holiday clubs etc! I know the next 6 weeks are gonna be a constant battle to get them there then constant griping about how crap it was once they were there!

gordyslovesheep · 18/07/2014 22:21

oh give over Engol I'm sure your parenting medal is in the post but you do lose points for judging other parents who don't meet your standards - why are you better than the OP - have you never once in your life ever said anything negative about parenting :)

Bogeyface · 18/07/2014 22:21

I have to admit that I do look forward to the holidays. But...

not so I can spend quality time with the kids
not because we can have Famous Five type days out with a massive picnic and lashings of Panda Pop ginger beer
not so I can just enjoy their company and "be a mummy"

Its because I dont have to listen to the alarm, I dont have to think about packed lunches, I dont have to make lunches as the kids love doing it for themselves, I dont need to deal with the ten-to-nine crisis "Oh, I need a working model of the Hoover Dam today!" and because they have Horrible Histories DVDs on loop and I can indulge my Laurence Rickard and/or Ben Willbond fantasies :o

tanukiton · 18/07/2014 22:22

Best games.
Sleeping lions; kids lie down and see who can stay still the longest.

Pretend families: mummy is the baby and lies on the sofa.

Sleep pirates; Mummy is the pirate, lies on the sofa children have to creep up very quietly and steal treasure(usually lego) without waking the pirate.

If anyone else knows some good games for Mummy let me know :)

BlackeyedSusan · 18/07/2014 22:23

dd had finished a whole year in school and was still four. so ner [childish start of summer holidays and Idon't care emotion]

I love the holidays

Bogeyface · 18/07/2014 22:25

Small kids are a walk in the park compared to teens

COUGH [bollocks]

In the holidays teens are the perfect child! They are either out with their mates or holed up their bedroom slagging you off via FB. Either way they are not nagging you to go to the park, get the paddling pool out, get the paints out, go swimming, go to soft play, have a play date, make cakes.......

I have 2 teens, a 9 year old, an 8 year old and a 3 year old (and a twenty something but he did the decent thing and moved out!), give me the teens any day of the week during the hols!

HumpsForHalfMile · 18/07/2014 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheLovelyBoots · 18/07/2014 22:26

God, what a lot of twats on this thread. Being with kids 24/7 is really isolating.