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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about the gate between our gardens that ndn has installed?

50 replies

CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 14:38

I moved into my new build 18 months ago.

Hit it off really well with ndn's. They are a childless couple in their 30's with no kids but a couple of small dogs.

We have a lab and a 3yo dd who adores ndn (female) and both dogs.

Sometimes ndn will pop round for a glass of wine in the evening (or a coffee in the day if neither of us are at work)

I was out all day yesterday, and when I came home ndn (male) has put in a gate between our garden (fence was 6ft all round, now has a gate and a 4ft fence topped with trellis between our patios) so that dd can come and go as she pleases.

Aibu to be absolutely delighted, and go and have a little swing in their big hammock while they are at work?GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
WaitMonkey · 17/07/2014 14:43

I did not expect the thread to be like this. Grin

TeenAndTween · 17/07/2014 14:44

I would not be happy with a 3 yr old popping into a neighbour's gardens with dogs without me.

If you don't like it, could you put a big padlock on it from your side?

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 14:48

It has a bolt at the top their side. I wouldn't let her in there unsupervised obviously, but it will save us traipsing in and out of the front doors to visit/get each other's washing in/check on each other's dogs.

It's not very pretty, but I can live with it.

Dh hates it. Hmm

OP posts:
Snatchoo · 17/07/2014 14:49

I think that's lovely! I wish I had lovely neighbours. Mine are ok I 'spose.

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 14:51

The gate.

Aibu about the gate between our gardens that ndn has installed?
OP posts:
springlamb · 17/07/2014 14:54

God if my ndn to the left put an interconnecting gate between our gardens I'd balance a bucket of fish guts on top and invite her through. Of course, it would all be old trout guts.
OTOH, my ndn to the right - we have a kind of open Venetian blind section of the fence between our gardens, which predates either of us. We talked about getting rid of it once but decided to keep it so we could wave to each other,

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 17/07/2014 14:56

I was reading one of the Naughty Little Sister books to the DC's the other evening and that is exactly what happens there. The Little Sister calls the neighbours Mr and Mrs Cocoa-Jones as she uses the gate each day to get cocoa. All you need now is some trellis to grow roses around it :)

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 15:04

Ghoul I loved those stories as a child, I had a cassette set of them being read by Felicity Kendall.

Sadly our ndn are not the cocoa type. More Mrs Sancerre!

Dh thinks they should have asked, but I think it's a great idea. We can always put a fence panel back in if it doesn't work out!

OP posts:
Staywithme · 17/07/2014 15:09

I suppose it depends who owns the fence. It probably would have been better to talk to you about it first though, even if you do get on with your neighbour as I think it's very presumptuous of them. However if you're happy then enjoy.

AnnoyingOrange · 17/07/2014 15:10

I wouldn't like it no matter how friendly we were

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 15:19

I think it is their fence.

Do you think I should ask before I laze in their hammock?Smile

OP posts:
Staywithme · 17/07/2014 15:24

^
Do you think I should ask before I laze in their hammock?^

Nah, just tell them you took the gate as an invitation. Don't forget the cold cocktail. Grin

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 15:26

Excellent. Their garden is so much nicer than mine. No garden toys, bits of bone or random holes that I strongly suspect my dog of making.

And a hammock.Grin

OP posts:
SiennaBlake · 17/07/2014 15:27

Eek! I wouldn't like this. But I'm a grump Grin

It sounds nice if that's the relationship you have with mrs cocoa jones

StillaChocoholic · 17/07/2014 15:34

Well it sounds like you have a good relationship with them so I think it's quite nice that they've done that. Will make it so much easier to pop to each other's houses for a glass of wine.

BeanyIsPregnant · 17/07/2014 15:38

I really wasn't expecting the thread to be like this..... Interesting though! Go fourth and lounge but I'd want to be back in my garden by the time they got home! can we move next door to you? My next door neighbours (open communal garden) said to me the other day in passing 'oh it's been raining for a while now, shame you were out as your washing a soaking!' Not totally unreasonable, but I frequently bring their washing in for them as I know they work shifts :(

BackforGood · 17/07/2014 15:38

We don't have a fence between us and our NDNs. There's a natural barrier with trees and plants but lots of spaces you can get through if you want to. We've both always said we are really happy if the dc want to go an play on the other's garden stuff, but it feels a bit wrong to go on their hammock - much as I'd love to Grin

Staywithme · 17/07/2014 15:41

shame you were out as your washing a soaking!' Not totally unreasonable, but I frequently bring their washing in for them as I know they work shifts

I take it you shan't be bothering again. Would love to see their faces when you say the same thing back. Grin

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 15:51

They are brilliant neighbours. We have keys to each other's houses etc.

I've never had neighbours quite like it. I luff's them! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 17/07/2014 15:51

They are brilliant neighbours. We have keys to each other's houses etc.

I've never had neighbours quite like it. I luff's them! Smile

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 17/07/2014 16:05

Hopefully they wont move and leave you with a gate between you and a right weirdo with absolutely no social boundaries!

Which is what happened to my best mate a few years ago. The gate made her life hell very difficult.

I think it's something which should have been discussed between you both IMO. I'd be with your DH.

7Days · 17/07/2014 16:10

God I'd hate hate hate that, but them I'm a grump. I take it you are not CatThiefKeith

I would hate anyone to take in my washing, way prefer it to get rained on. It will dry again eventually

7Days · 17/07/2014 16:12

My Mum used to say Good Fences Make Good Neighbours

More and more I am finding she was right with her collection of daft old sayings

Engol · 17/07/2014 16:14

I think with the right people this is a great setup, they clearly knew you'd be happy with the setup. Lucky you having neighbours who ate great friends too :-)

PeterParkerSays · 17/07/2014 16:15

Have you read "My Naughty little sister" to your DD? It's a Cocoa Jones gate!