Aibu about the gate between our gardens that ndn has installed?

[CatThiefKeith]

I moved into my new build 18 months ago.

Hit it off really well with ndn's. They are a childless couple in their 30's with no kids but a couple of small dogs.

We have a lab and a 3yo dd who adores ndn (female) and both dogs.

Sometimes ndn will pop round for a glass of wine in the evening (or a coffee in the day if neither of us are at work)

I was out all day yesterday, and when I came home ndn (male) has put in a gate between our garden (fence was 6ft all round, now has a gate and a 4ft fence topped with trellis between our patios) so that dd can come and go as she pleases.

Aibu to be absolutely delighted, and go and have a little swing in their big hammock while they are at work?

When I was a child (in the 70's) my Parents had a gate between us and the older couple next door. It wasn't unusual for me to go round 'Aunty Betty's' for a bath at night if Mum was busy. They pegged each others washing out, watered each others plants etc On a Sunday Betty and her husband would have me over for a tripe supper and a game of Mastermind. (Tripe? Ewwww how could I!)

I have fond memories of the gate and Aunty Betty.

Have they mentioned it at all? It's a tad weird that they didn't even mention it before. Perhaps you could put a big pot behind it so they can't start using it without at least acknowledging the elephant in the garden room.

Having said that, where I grew up we had a stile type thing in between us and next door, and a squeezy hole behind the shed on the other side, and a further gap in the hedge on their other side - so 4 houses worth of kids could play together. Here we have a gate to next door that their now middle aged kids and the kids next door could play with each other.

SistersofPercy, that's exactly how I hope this will pan out.

They'd bloody well better not move!

Dear god NO! What happens when you fall out? How dare they modify the joint fence without discussing it first.

This will not end well.

I think we had a brief 'we need a gate in this fence' conversation at the end of last summer.

We were either side of a six foot fence, all sitting on our respective patios at the time.

It hasn't been mentioned since though.

I think it's lovely. Dh is concerned that if they look through the trellis they might see him sitting on the sofa in his underpants.

I can't imagine they'd want to tbh.

No offense OP but it is rather ugly as well. Could you get DH to slap some paint on it or something?

Or paint it herself?
In fairness if you both put a padlock on it would revert to just being a fence

Await with interest how long it is until you are on MN asking how you can ask your neighbours to reinstate the fence.
You think it's great at the moment, but no matter how good neighbours they are it's a bit of a cheek inter-connecting the gardens without asking.
What's next - had a bit too much washing so just using your dryer! lots of people over , so just spilling into your garden! Oh your having a BBQ - make mine a cheese burger !
Good neighbours are great, but you don't want to be joined at the hip. ( or even the gate)

Longtimelurking. It's not pretty is it?

In fairness the whole fence is pretty ugly. I am planning eventually to put a border right round the garden and grow something like honey suckle up it to hide it.

And little roses all up the new trellis bit so they don't cop an eyeful of dh in his under crackers!

The possibility for threads are endless, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

awaits an Aibu thread about outraged neighbour coming home to find catthiefkeith shitfaced on cocktails and asleep in their hammock

It's lovely that you don't mind this.

I would hate it and think it was seriously overstepping the mark. But like others on here, I'm probably just an unneighbourly grump who thinks their home is their castle.

Don't leave it for too long though because it may lead the way for some sort of legal access thing. It probably doesn't, but I'm a worst case scenario kind of person.

Whether I like it or not, I would expect to be consulted on it.

I'm with your DH

Can't imagine they'd want to invade my garden with plastic tat strewn everywhere and a big hole in the lawn when they have a lovely grown ups garden next door.

I can reach the bolt and undo it though. for hammock snoozing purposes

I'm sure it will be lovely.

We have a gate between us and the ndn.
It is because they have right of access for maintenance along our path and through our garden...nearly put us off buying -we got the solicitor to check it out very carefully... so maybe if either party wants to sell it might be worth reinstating the fence..
In 14 years old neighbours used it twice to get work done to their garden and always asked us if we minded first...
Wife used it once to knock on my window to tell me it had started raining on my washing - nearly jumped out of my skin - she only did it once ... and when I tried to return the favour found they had a bolt on it so far down that it couldn't be opened from our side...
When they said they were selling we were a bit worried but new neighbour has never used it - in fact turns out their main right of access is actually from the other end of the terrace...even so I would let them use it because we are off the road and he workmen would have to go further and go down, then up - rather than just down. One of the fence panels came down in a storm so we had a gap for a while and we talked about replacing the while thing -but in the end just got it repaired. When we do replace it I will be pushing to get a removable panel instead of the gate...just to discourage anyone in the future from taking the mickey...

I think it's a lovely idea for two sets of friendly neighbours. I would, however, be really quick to seal the gap if either of you puts your house on the market. Gates used over long periods of time can lead to rights being acquired over each other's property and you don't want new owners on either side to become confused.

You are lucky that your little one will hopefully grow up with a lovely community of neighbours :-)

I love this. We have kids next door and I'd hoped to do something similar... However they are never home and kids are at grandparents most of the time. Very disappointing

I must admit that when I first read your post I thought of that episode of One Foot in the Grave where Victor is happily sunbathing almost naked in his garden and Mr Sweeny from next door suddenly steps through a fence panel, which he's turned into a gate, and shocks the heck out of Victor- LOL

I would have issues with this from the point of view that there was no discussion with you, just a assumption that you would like it, and that the work was done when you were out so you couldn't object. That's just me though and if you're happy with it, there's no problem.

I've got highly lovely neighbours too and I think your gate also sounds highly lovely. Not a lot of others have such a good relationship with their NDNs though, hence the mixed reaction you're getting on this thread.

In my childhood home we had an old curly metal gate at the end of the garden which we'd use to visit Aunty X & Uncle Y who were old enough to be our grandparents. They were lovely & loved having us visit So pleased you've got some lovely neighbours.

That's great, I would love it.

In the first house we rented - small victorian terrace - there was a fence in the wall to the neighbour. Apparently there were two ladies living next to each other for 30 years, both on their own, who liked to have a cuppa together and were sick of walking round.
I can imagine they just sat and chatted in their nighties

In a house we rented a few years ago our children made ladders out of trellis to get over the fences into the gardens, 3 houses in a row with similar aged dc.

In our house now we have sorry excuses for fences, both sides really low except on patio level. Both neighbours have anxiously asked in the first week if we would put a 6 foot fence up.
Nope, we absolutely love the open plan garden arrangement, and if we ever replace, it will be a 3 foot fence again.

Have you prepared your cocktail yet?

We have a hammock as well, btw, tis great!

I wouldn't like it at all.

fence in the wall?

gate in the fence!

Ooh, I love the idea of the old ladies having a cuppa in their nighties. How sweet.

We are going to have an open gate tonight, and ndn is popping round once dd is asleep for a glass of wine.

I hope ddog doesn't shit on their lovely lawn.

I'd better take her for a run in a minute - just in case!

I was sure this thread was going to be a spoof about The Cocoa-Joneses!