AIBU to be upset and hold out for an apology.

[daiseehope]

My DP is not a saint, mostly he's just a bit grumpy but he's really upset me. Just wondering if I'm overreacting? First thing I hear as I wake up.
Son to DP: can't find any socks
(sorting through washing I spent ages doing yesterday)
DP to son: Well this is just fucking sheer laziness! (pointing at pile, and yes referring to me)
Really hurt, he slagged me off to our son. ??

Is your relationship normally OK & this is a one off?

Or has he been a twat like this more than once?

btw as well as holding out for an apology you should also be challenging him as to why he didn't put the washing away if it were so important, why is it your job?!

What did you say to him?

I'd be really upset about that too!

Does he have a specific physical disability that prevents him from washing and locating his own socks?

Does he normally use language like that in front of your son?

What makes you think he was referring to you? I'd presume he was having a dig at your son for not putting his laundry away.

It's the height of laziness to not look through the washing basket for your own socks.

Sorry op but your husband is an asshole for saying that

He should not be speaking to you like that in front of your son but bottom line he should not be speaking to you like that full stop

Im confused.

DP was looking through the clean laundry? And he called you lazy for what? Not putting it all away in the relevant drawers?

Language obviously totally inappropriate in front of the DS. Did he mean the son was lazy for not putting it away or that OP is? Assuming it was directed at the OP absolutely you deserve an apology and I am quite worried that you even have to ask the question. Is this normal in your house? Even leaving the bad language and in front of the DS aside, the sentiment is utterly disrespectful.

That's bloody outrageous! Is he normally a twat?

Thanks posters for saying I'm reasonable. I have to be honest he is like this sometimes. No that language is not acceptable in front of son. I know it wasn't directed at son, sounds silly but I could tell. I've just got back from shopping and he has of course done said washing. When I saw him he just acted all nice. I said that I didn't like what he'd said about me to DS, firstly he denied it was aimed at me, then he started going on that we'll it was lazy and that was all I'd had to do yesterday. Not true. Very sad more than anything our wedding is set for August next year.

Fairylights, that's exactly how I feel, disrespected and sad.

Its called gaslighting OP, when they say something then deny it & turn it round to be your fault.

Think carefully before you marry him.

I have to be honest he is like this sometimes.

Well, that one example alone is terrible.

No that language is not acceptable in front of son.

But you have accepted it, and so has your partner, and your son will be picking up that it's acceptable too.

I feel sick

What worries you?

A warning before marriage is better than when it's too late.

If you are worried and feel sick about this kind of thing, and if it is not a one off, then now is the time to reassess. Weddings can be postponed or called off. If you have qualms about this relationship, they won't go away just because you get married.

What a disgusting thing to say to your son about you. Yanbu at all for wanting an apology but this is really, really serious disrespect.

Sensible me knows what you're all saying is correct. I'm worried because I know it will be unpleasant tonight, he's not come back from work for his break as normal (relief tbh). I just hate atmospheres. I'm worried I'm stuck.

I feel sick

This man is a pig .Do not marry him.He swears in front of children and seems to think that you are the sock washing fairy.Pig.

All you had to do yesterday - all day - was sort out some socks. Well that's fantastic!

If that is ALL you had to do then yes you are lazy. But I'm betting it wasn't all you did yesterday was it?