To think that my friend isn't doing herself any favours

[legolammb]

A good friend of mine is looking for jobs at the moment after recently completing a very prestigious qualification. It's been nearly a year and she still hasn't got anywhere and is doing low paid shift work. She's had a lot of interviews with well-respected companies and academic institutions, so on paper she's brilliant. It's the interview stage that's the problem.

I don't think she's helping herself with her appearance. She has an 'edgy' hairstyle - think shaved bits and bright dye - and facial piercings. Our group at school liked to think of ourselves as the alternative crowd and had mohicans, tattoos etc, but most of us got rid of them when it came time to get jobs. She's not going into the City or law or anything quite as formal as that, but neither is she trying to get Media or Arts jobs where an interesting appearance is more tolerated. AIBU to think she needs to tow the line a bit more with her appearance?

YANBU. I agree with you. She sounds like she is more interested in her appearance than the job. Everyone is supposed to dress smartly for work. That generally means groomed hair, smart clothes, face clean or minimal but smart make up.

However, if she has a record of publishing and can speak authoritatively about her subject well enough, I don't think it would stop her getting a job - though she might simply be told she has to remove the piercings before appearing in front of students. Is it not possible she has an awkward attitude to authority, which comes out in the interviews as well?

I think it's a bit self-absorbed to declare 'Everyone should accept ME as ME!' and refuse to make any adjustments in dress or attitude based on those around. She's not doing that explicitly, but the fact that she hasn't considered the possibility that her appearance might be affecting her job prospects suggests she's either very naive about other people's reaction to her, or else is making some kind of a stand for her 'right' to have everyone else adjust entirely to her rather than alter her appearance.

Agree with manatee. Individuality is great, and everyone is special, and unique, blah blah blah. But a job interview is not about ME, ME, ME, but about how you can fit in a company. If showing what a "speshal snowflake" you are is more important than showing your qualifications for the job, then she should not be surprised she doesn't get said job.

Facial piercings make me feel sick. Heaven forbid I ever found myself on an interview panel for anyone with them, because I'd be looking for a legal way to reject them if I was going to see them.