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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dear Neighbour

28 replies

JustSpeakSense · 16/07/2014 17:36

Thank you for painting your garage door that dazzling shade of bright turquoise, it contrasts brilliantly with the vivid orange traffic cone you have had in your driveway for the past 15 months. I also find it amusing that you think these colours match your awful lime green front door.....any photos I take of my children outside (skateboarding, cycling, trick or treating, building snowmen etc) incorporate all these psychedelic items as a backdrop.....thanks Shock

(Oh how I wish I had the guts to say this to my neighbour - but he is just too sweet and brings me lovely veggies from his allotment, AIBU to just vent on here?) does anyone have any eyesores they're forced to endure daily?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 16/07/2014 17:39

My NDN has various trinkets/lights/gnomes adorning his, otherwise messy, front garden.

Taxis always find us easily though. I just say I'm next to the gnome house. Grin

I did see a very small front garden once that had full size statues of Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy in it. Took up all of the space. Bizarre.

psychicpaper · 16/07/2014 17:41

umm, my land my colour scheme?

unless in a listed building?

Sister77 · 16/07/2014 17:42

Dear neighbour
Thanks for putting the biggest fish pond in the world in your back garden! The cats love shitting all over my gravel prior to a three course fish meal at yours!
Kind regards

Ps at least you let my kids feed the fish

MostlyMama · 16/07/2014 17:42

Psychic don't go all PO. Thread is clearly meant lightheartedly.

r2d2ismyidealman · 16/07/2014 17:43

I'll miss you Sad.

r2d2ismyidealman · 16/07/2014 17:44

I didn't mean to imply death, it's about moving house!

fanoftheinvisibleman · 16/07/2014 17:46

Mine used to have a massive swastika flag hung in their spare room Shock Dh was so shocked the first time he saw it that he had to reverse put the drive again to make sure he hadn't imagined it!

I am hoping they are just collectors. It was taken down shortly after my german friend visited and saw it (paper thin walls Wink)

BetweenDogandWolf · 16/07/2014 17:48

Dear neighbour,
Please can you have a rest and stop getting together so much garden rubbish. Tearing down part of your fence seems to be going too far. And if you really can't stop, why don't you go to the tip like everyone else instead of having bonfires nearly every single day!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 16/07/2014 17:48

If your neighbour is lovely and is not actually causing you any distress (outside of you not wanting to take photos outside of HIS house or garage) then YABU

You can go to a park if you want to take photos.
He's not keeping you awake at night, he's not a neighbour from hell.

Maybe your children skateboarding, cycling, trick-or-treating are a nuisance to him - has he complained to you about that?

No, he's brought you veggies.
YABU (But this is a nice place to vent if it's annoying you) Flowers

Original poster
JustSpeakSense · 16/07/2014 17:57

He's probably looking at my dull, neat, bland house and wishing he had something bright and colourful to look at instead. He really is lovely and I could never say anything in RL in fact I found myself complimenting him on his nice bright garage door Arrrghhh why couldn't I just say nothing (because he then said he was thinking of painting his gate the same!)

OP posts:
sugaryonthesurface · 16/07/2014 18:33

Dear neighbour,stop peeping at us from behind the curtains when we leave the house,we can see you,your curtain is not a cloak of invisibility. We know you mean no harm but if you are bored watch tv,not us or read or a book because we really dont get anymore entertaining.Also dear neighbour,when you talk to passers by and neighbours you dont need to shout.They can hear you,they are across the pavement not the equator and i sometimes feel like i am part of your conversation when im not even there because its so bloody loud!!!

Happy36 · 16/07/2014 18:38

I am suspicipus of people with too much good taste or entirely tasteful homes. When I see a truly beautiful home I suspect the owner is a cruel and heartless person on the grounds that everyone has a least one lovely, mad friend or relative who thinks a turquoise garage door is more fun than a stylish white one and buys you gaudy, tasteless gifts full of love and affection. Ghastly though such items can be only someone made of stone would chuck them ALL away and devote their entire home to the gods of Habitat.

manchestermummy · 16/07/2014 18:47

Dear Neighbour,

It's really lovely of you to offer to babysit while we go to the pub for a drink. Really it is. But I know the only reason you want to do this is so that you can snoop around my house.

Please stop turning the hosepipe on my cat.

Please stop complaining when visitors to my house park anywhere near yours. There are no restrictions whatsoever, you have never been blocked in and it's really only your problem you cannot manoeuvre your minute car off your drive with less than 100m clearance.

Oh and by the way, I really didn't like any of the wallpapers you chose for your hall. I know you said I could say if I didn't like any of them but that was never really an option, was it now.

Yours faithfully,

Next Door

OTheHugeManatee · 16/07/2014 18:47

You clearly should have put 'lighthearted' in your thread title, OP.

Hmm at the Po

Latara · 16/07/2014 18:56

Dear Neighbour - I like you but you are too flaky!

When you have custody of your 3 collies please stop allowing them to run round the square with no leads on and kindly do not let them chase the terrified neighbourhood cats.

And should you decide to let your house out again, please ensure the next tenant is not a lecherous older man.

Pancakeflipper · 16/07/2014 18:59

Dear neighbour

please don't go on holiday again and leave me in charge of all your animals. I know I am an adult but I think the responsibility is too much for me.

I honestly don't know where the cat went but rumour has it, it's been spotted a couple of miles away washing its paws. But it never liked being one of many cats did he?

Sorry about the chickens. I wasn't sure what you do with dead ones which is why I asked the nosey gossipy neighbour to help me out. Sorry he gave you a mouthful on your return. His nose is out of joint because before I moved in he did the pet-sitting but you think he rummaged through too many of your drawers.

And for fucks sake get that pond repaired so I don't have to refill it with a hose in emergencies.

I have to confess that I pretend to not see the dead birds /mice that your other 4 cats bring home and place under the dining table. So by the time you return it's like a small creatures mass burial.

But thanks for all the help with my children. They love you lots and looking forward to the annual Summer holiday day out you do each year.

Love,
your neighbour

oldnewmummy · 16/07/2014 19:01

Not my neighbour, but a house near me has a 3/4 sized elephant statue in the front garden.

LisaMed · 16/07/2014 19:10

My next door neighbour is really, really lovely - he takes in parcels, is helpful, kind and generally a great human being.

He is being threatened with eviction due to things quite genuinely beyond his control and I am worried sick. I keep finding myself looking out of the window and wondering.

HappyAgainOneDay · 16/07/2014 19:27

Our next door neighbour keeps her black wheelie bin, green wheelie bin and green crates for recycling all in her open fronted porch. This is a naice place so why can't she keep her bins round the back like the rest of us?

oldgrandmama · 16/07/2014 19:30

Dear neighbours (at No. 3 next door to me). I adore all four of you - you're all high flying young (30ish) professionals. I'm an old crone in my seventies. You never moan about my cat crapping on your salad/herb garden, have often brought back for me sweet thoughtful gifts from your business trips abroad, always have time for a gossip and I know if I had a problem, you'd be there for me.

In return, I give you homemade bread, pizzas and curries, I hold your spare keys because you often lock yourselves out and even at midnight, I don't mind if you call and ask me to let you in. I take in parcels for you and keep an eye on your house when you're away.

I know I'm very very lucky to have such great people next door. Come to think of it, ALL my neighbours are lovely. And if there's the odd noisy party, I grin and bear it ... I was young once (remembering a 'pyjama party in Brighton, circa 1960, where I, unused to the demon drink, was adamant in the early hours of the morning that I could make toast in the host's Roberts radio).

Nottinghill1 · 16/07/2014 19:34

Please show us a photo???!!!!!

Babycino81 · 16/07/2014 19:38

Dear Neighbours,

Thank you for moving in and telling us you are Romanian gypsy's. It has made our local Hyacinth Bouquet wannabe purple with nosiness/jealousy etc

Thank you for always making time to say hello, stop and ask about my baby and generally be lovely.

Massive thank you for changing the tyre on my car in the pissing rain when I was 9 months pregnant and randomly taking my mum and dad to the airport when their taxi never arrived

But mostly, thank you for annoying Huacinth. Our whole road loves you massively

Your Neighbour xxx

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 16/07/2014 19:55

Dear Neighbours,

Learn to fucking park, there is 4 spaces, two of them mine, it not a free for all.

And another thing, tell your guests stop parking in my parking space or next time I park up behind them and go out the day.

Chottie · 16/07/2014 20:03

Dear NDN but two, I know your love your DC, but do you need to have such a loud birthday party compere in the garden? I could hear every word in my house with all the windows shut......

Koothrapanties · 16/07/2014 20:04

Dear neighbour, everyone can hear you screaming at your kids all day, every day. We can also hear you having sex. None of us can hear anyone else from the flats doing these things so I think it's safe to say you are being a tad loud. Also, it was quite disgusting when your son screamed up at the window that he wants to fuck you in the arse, The correct response probably wasn't to laugh. 8 year olds really shouldn't be encouraged to say that sort of thing to their own mother, or anyone really.

Oh and that woman (another neighbours mum) you tried to intimidate about where she had parked her car (perfectly legally) has cancer, diabetes and epilepsy. She really didnt need you having a go at her for no reason.

Ah that feels better.