Dear Neighbour

[JustSpeakSense]

Thank you for painting your garage door that dazzling shade of bright turquoise, it contrasts brilliantly with the vivid orange traffic cone you have had in your driveway for the past 15 months. I also find it amusing that you think these colours match your awful lime green front door.....any photos I take of my children outside (skateboarding, cycling, trick or treating, building snowmen etc) incorporate all these psychedelic items as a backdrop.....thanks

(Oh how I wish I had the guts to say this to my neighbour - but he is just too sweet and brings me lovely veggies from his allotment, AIBU to just vent on here?) does anyone have any eyesores they're forced to endure daily?

NottingHill, are you asking for a photo of youngnotevenamumthen at her pyjama party?

Dear Neighbour,

You are wonderful in many ways but I do wish you wouldn't feed the foxes. They now think we are all the interlopers.

Best wishes,

Your NDN

Please I want a photo of the garage door and matching curtains,pleasssssssse

Dear ndn.

I can hear you having sex. You are very loud. I'm sure it's fantastic and you don't have a lot on now you're phasing in retirement but I really don't want to hear the moans and commentary when I'm eating my tea. For heavens sake Bobby, whatever it is she's begging for, just do it when she asks the first time.

Dear other ndn.

Thank you for taking in my parcels but I hate your dog.