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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think actually routines don't always need to be set in stone

42 replies

Menolly · 16/07/2014 11:11

I was talking to MIL earlier and telling her that as its the last day of term I thought I'd take a picnic tea with me to pick DD(5) up and stay out late. We'd probably get home about 9.30pm. MIL is horrified I'd let DD stay up so late as it'll interfere with DD's routine and she won't get up early tomorrow.

We have absolutely nothing we have to do tomorrow, I thought we'd have a really lazy day we may not even get dressed so I don't see a problem.

So, AIBU and far too relaxed or is MIL just far too strict on routines?

If it makes a difference, the plan is play in the park til DD gets bored, have a picnic and a story then go for a walk by the river, stopping to look at things as we go. DD is fascinated by wildlife and wants to see bats, there are loads round there so was going to walk home about dusk as that's the best time to see them.

OP posts:
treadheavily · 16/07/2014 11:15

No but that does sound late for a 5 y o.
But hey ho your life. Shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks

LoblollyBoy · 16/07/2014 11:16

Wow, if you think you can happily make it 'till dusk, it's got to be the bats. Love it.

BosomBunnies · 16/07/2014 11:17

Sounds like a lovely plan to me! I'm sure your DD will realise it's a special treat.

It's not like you're going to keep her out until 9.30pm every night of the holidays!!

It's things like this that she'll remember when she gets older and look back on fondly. Go for it!

Fanfeckintastic · 16/07/2014 11:19

Aw I think that sounds like a lovely idea!

I've recently veered a little away from such a structured bedtime routine with DD (it's my first summer as a single parent and the long evenings stuck in can be very tough) and the freedom is actually lovely, to stay for a bbq in a friends, go for an evening walk on the beach etc and it hasn't interfered with her general routine at all!

Original poster
Menolly · 16/07/2014 11:22

It might be tread, I've not kept her out that late before but it's not a long walk so we'll just head back earlier if she starts getting tired.

Loblolly she's finally big enough to play in the big children's play area so i plan to go on the swings, zip wire etc with her as soon as it gets quiet Grin

OP posts:
cailindana · 16/07/2014 11:24

I think it's the deviations from routine that children remember when they're older. You will give her a lovely memory to cherish into adulthood, that's worth any amount of hassle in my book :)

JadedAngel · 16/07/2014 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Menolly · 16/07/2014 11:37

ah wow, walks and bbqs on the beach sound fantastic, I wish we lived near the coast.

OP posts:
not2nitedarling · 16/07/2014 11:40

can I come too? sounds lovely

Stinkle · 16/07/2014 11:47

YANBU

I love the school holidays for the simple fact that day-to-day routines can go out of the window a bit.

We live near the beach, so it's lovely to be able to walk down to the seafront after tea, buy ice creams and skim stones or something without having to keep one eye on the time

At the end of a lovely weekend, we can stay out and have dinner in the pub and let them play in the pub garden or something and not have to worry about having to get home, get showered and in bed ready for school

They sleep in if they're tired, slob about in PJs until lunchtime if they want. It's bliss

arethereanyleftatall · 16/07/2014 11:51

When dd was 4, we were at a party and decided to stay late for the first time ever. We stayed till 11pm, dd too with all the other children. It was the best night of her life, and two years on, she still remembers it.
She slept till 10 the next day, and was back to normal routine of 7 pm that night.
Happy days. Your mil is bu.

Droflove · 16/07/2014 11:51

Flexible patents breed flexible children. I'm sure you'd never force her to stay awake if she was splattered but she will likely have Le a lovely time and im all for breaking routines when it benefits the child. Life would be very boring and your child would grow up missing out on a lot if we didn't make plenty if exceptions to the rules where appropriate and healthy.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 16/07/2014 11:53

Sounds lovely, can't wait until we can relax the routine a bit more here (2.5yo twins, all goes to hell in a handcart if we push it too far!)

JimmyCorkhill · 16/07/2014 12:53

The only time I don't veer from a routine is when I don't want to go to something Grin "I can't possibly come to your birthday party SIL, the girls are in bed by then" ha ha!

Mintyy · 16/07/2014 12:54

Your plans sound really lovely.

IGNORE mil. Just ignore her! Its none of her business anyway.

LemonSquares · 16/07/2014 12:56

Depends on the DC some thrive/need the routine but I assume you would know best how your DD is and be the one dealing with grumpy consequences.

When mine were younger - oldest one would always get up same time so late night meant grumpy DC. Now she is much older she sleeps in - as do other two so in holidays bedtimes drift and days out can be late.

It sound a lovely plan – so ignore your MIL.

Ellypoo · 16/07/2014 12:58

YANBU - sounds like a lovely idea.

We have a routine, but it isn't set in stone and varies depending on what we are doing and how tired DD is - flexibility is the key to enjoying life for most people!!

DuchessFanny · 16/07/2014 13:06

We do it ! We have a lot of structure in the DCs lives already with school and a few after school activities, so sometimes it's really nice to just stay longer at the beach/in the park - the worst that has ever happened is that they're a little tired the next day, but in the holidays who cares ? They just have a slower day. And we all love it, memories are often made.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/07/2014 13:20

I did a smililar with my two yesterday. Well not the nature walk but we took a picnic tea to the playground and played frisbee and short tennis. Their Dad is away and it's the last week of term and they loved it. Admittedly we were home by about 7.30 so the children weren't too late to bed anyway but it was nice to do something a little different that you can only really do this time of year. I was pleasantly surprised that at least 4 other families were also out playing quite late and it felt like there was a lovely community spirit. My 2 are 4 and 6 by the way :)

Hope you and your DD enjoy yourselves.

areyoubeingserviced · 16/07/2014 13:22

Absolutely lovely idea OP, your dd will never forget it.

CrystalSkulls · 16/07/2014 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenShadow · 16/07/2014 13:28

Routines are are overplayed.
Do what you want and what fits in with your life.

maras2 · 16/07/2014 13:29

What on earth has it got to do with MIL? I'm a MIL to two and GP to 3 and would never, ever voice an opinion on this,especially if I didn't agree with it.As it is, I think that it's a great idea.

DinoSnores · 16/07/2014 13:29

I love having a routine. I like Gina Ford's books even if I don't follow them exactly.

And I think the benefit of having a rough routine is precisely that we can alter it when we want to knowing that the next day it will all settle back down. Our routine is flexible not rigid, and serves US rather than us being its servants.

Your plans sound lovely. Have a fabulous evening!

Notso · 16/07/2014 13:29

Good grief she's 5 years not 5 months!

Have fun, live life!

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