to think actually routines don't always need to be set in stone

[Menolly]

I was talking to MIL earlier and telling her that as its the last day of term I thought I'd take a picnic tea with me to pick DD(5) up and stay out late. We'd probably get home about 9.30pm. MIL is horrified I'd let DD stay up so late as it'll interfere with DD's routine and she won't get up early tomorrow.

We have absolutely nothing we have to do tomorrow, I thought we'd have a really lazy day we may not even get dressed so I don't see a problem.

So, AIBU and far too relaxed or is MIL just far too strict on routines?

If it makes a difference, the plan is play in the park til DD gets bored, have a picnic and a story then go for a walk by the river, stopping to look at things as we go. DD is fascinated by wildlife and wants to see bats, there are loads round there so was going to walk home about dusk as that's the best time to see them.

Thanks all, MIL is usually far more relaxed than me and its unusual for her to say she wouldn't let DD do something if she was me usually its her letting DD do things I've said no to so I got a bit worried she might have a point.

Great idea, routines are there to be broken! When my DS was 6 or 7 we did an early morning walk to hear the dawn chorus. Meant getting up before 5am but it was great fun walking through the woods next to us as it was getting light. These type of moments are special, don't listen to killjoy MIL!

I do NOT get parents whose kids have to be in bed by 7pm no matter what is happening.

When DH's sister got married his brother missed the photos because him and his wife were putting their child to bed and they couldn't possibly deviate from the routine, even by a few minutes

Crikey, what a strange thing for your MIL to say! It's not a school night, you have nothing on the next day. Do it. It will be lovely.

This happened at my wedding Mybigfatredwedding. My brother and his wife left halfway through (as in about 4pm!) because of their DD's bedtime routine. I was a bit aghast! Maybe they just hated it!

Ha ha! That's what happened with us as well at our wedding. SIL left with her DD and DH halfway through the meal!

We have some friends staying with us at the moment who insist their little boy has his nap at 12 and is in bed by 7pm every night, no matter what.

We live in a holiday resort so they're getting a freebie holiday, yet expect the whole house to revolve around them and their son's bed/nap times, and expect silence from the rest of us when he's asleep.

We're not on holiday so are just going about our normal life, my children don't break up until next week, we're getting ready for work/school in the morning, I work from home so my phone rings a lot, postman knocks on the door so the dog barks, noise from TV, my children playing in their rooms, the trampoline squeaks a bit. The next time they ssshhhhhh I won't be responsible for my actions

It is driving me insane.

I have a very rigid routine, but we recently went on a MAJOR holiday, one night i kept my 3 year old out till 10:30 luckily all we had to do next day was sit in airports and fly as she was knackered and grumpy as hell.

I am the routine queen in term time, with 5 dc I have to be. But dh and I both have 2 months of in the summer (n ireland) and we have zero routine for July and August. Bath/don't bath/run through sprinkler, bed early & watch a film in bed/fall asleep in tree house/sit up to midnight around bonfire, proper dinner/crisp sandwiches/eat out. Anything goes really and its heaven. My youngest is 4 and when we are at our holiday home has been in swimming till 9pm.

Sounds lovely.

Took dd 5 to a wedding abroad on the weekend (she had Monday off) and let her stay up til 12. The meal had barely finished by this point!

She went to bed at normal time Monday night and was fine for school Tuesday.

Live a little, IMO.

mybigfatredwedding
You sure they werent just using that as an excuse? Because frankly, any reason to miss the wedding photos is a positive.

I love a previous poster's suggestion that this will be the stuff of fond childhood memories. It will and your dd will love it OP.

Well we did it, got back around 10 in the end. DD is shattered and so am I but it was so worth it, we had a fantastic time, saw a few bats and even met this beautiful creature, who DD thought was a stick til it started moving less than an inch from her foot, i've never seen her jump so high but she was fascinated once I explained it wasn't a wiggly stick monster

I also discovered DD has become quite the bug expert having done a term on bugs at school, although she is absolutely convinced midges are called midgets, so if anyone saw a child running round flapping her arms shouting I'm a midget and pretending to bite me that'll be why.

Sounds you had a great time! Very impressed with your photo :)

pretty sure he was posing, he wriggled away from DD's foot then just laid there sunning himself whilst DD and I admired him.

yanbu, routines here are for school nights only (and are quite strict) other nights (weekends and holidays) are a bit of a free for all now (dds ages 3, 7 and 8) and they do really appreciate the freedom and are good when they have to be :)

I'm glad you had a loverly time.

I'm a firm believer in training flexible DCs.

Finding a routine that works for you day to day is great, but not to the extent it becomes a tie for you, your friends and family.

DD1 would perfectly happily stay up until 10-11pm, ocationally, from being really small. If there were people paying ber attention she was happy. Dd2 isn't quite as naturally a night owl, but she wasn't going to be shown up by big sister.

Small DC who are quite happy to stay until you've helped tidy up after the works BBQ or are totally unphased when Thomson's bounce a late flight booking to not leaving the hotel until after 10pm are very very useful, especially if you have no babysitters.