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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know if I am being PFB or sensible?

58 replies

TakingTheStairs · 16/07/2014 07:45

I am taking a trip home (another country) next week. My DM has very kindly borrowed a car seat for me to use during the trip to save me bringing my DS' car seat. I should point out that it is no hassle at all for me to bring the car seat and she sourced this other car seat from a family member without my prior knowledge but is trying to be helpful.

The car seat she has borrowed is a Maxi Cosi Tobi which is suitable from a weight of 9kg. DS is 8kg (8 months) and puts on roughy .5kg a month so he is about 2 months away from being the minimum weight for this car seat.

I worry that should the worst happen he will be too small for the car seat and wouldn't be protected properly.
AIBU to say thank you but no thank you and use DS' own car seat?

(please be gentle!)

OP posts:
HappierThanEverBefore · 16/07/2014 07:46

I would use your own seat if he doesn't meet the weight requirement - it's there for a reason

Sirzy · 16/07/2014 07:46

I would just explain to her that as DS doesn't weigh enough to use the new seat then you would rather take your own and know he was safe.

fledermaus · 16/07/2014 07:47

I would use his own car seat, don't see the benefit of borrowing one that sounds unsuitable (is it forward facing? He's too young for that) and you don't know if it has been in an accident or well cared for.

WeirdCatLady · 16/07/2014 07:47

Why on earth did she feel the need to get another car seat when you already have one?

I'd just say thanks, but no thanks. We already have the right car seat and will be using that one.

Toottootoffwego · 16/07/2014 07:47

That's a forward facing seat and 8 months is way too young to be forward facing, so take your own seat.

headlesslambrini · 16/07/2014 07:48

Use your own seat. You will feel happier and more relaxed

NannyR · 16/07/2014 07:48

I would take your own seat, he is far too young to be in a forward facing seat.

fortyplus · 16/07/2014 07:48

You're being just a tad pfb but it's going to worry you, so I would thank m-i-l for her kindness but say that you'd prefer to bring the usual seat.

OwlCapone · 16/07/2014 07:48

It would probably be fine but If it's no hassle, I would take my own I think. Especially if you are worried about it - PFB or not, you won't be able to relax and will think about it whenever he is in the car.

Bearbehind · 16/07/2014 07:49

Eh? If I've read this right your DS is 2 months away from being too big for the seat but you are going next week?

Unless you are going for 2 months your are being pfb and U

OwlCapone · 16/07/2014 07:49

Why on earth did she feel the need to get another car seat when you already have one?

I assume she thought she was being helpful Hmm

OwlCapone · 16/07/2014 07:50

If I've read this right your DS is 2 months away from being too big for the seat but you are going next week?

No, he is two months away from being big enough! :o

PintOfWine · 16/07/2014 07:51

Car seats are a bigger pain to lug at that larger size so I would be very very thankful to her and say if you can borrow it next year, when he does fit it, it will be hugely appreciated.

Bearbehind · 16/07/2014 07:51

Doh- sorry- read it the wrong way round Blush

No your not being U or pfb - sorry

Sirzy · 16/07/2014 07:51

Bear - he is about 2 months away from being big enough for the seat

HKat · 16/07/2014 07:51

I think it's that he's two months away from being big enough for the seat - but it's early and Might have read that wrong myself! Smile

fledermaus · 16/07/2014 07:52

How is it being PFB to not but your baby in a random seat they are too small for when you have a suitable seat of your own?

HKat · 16/07/2014 07:53

Crossed, Bear! OP yanbu or pfb. As someone said up thread the weight limits are in place for a reason. Not worth the risk IMO. Just thank your dm for her help but explain you'll be bringing your own, and why.

Original poster
TakingTheStairs · 16/07/2014 07:53

Bearbehind. I am going next week and my DS is two months away from being big enough for the seat. He is currently too small.

WeirdCatLady... that's a whole other thread! DM often goes out of her way to get stuff that isn't suitable/needed/wanted and then gets offended when I don't use it. I am always polite and tell her I appreciate the effort but it's not suitable because of X & Y but she just wants to be helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
TakingTheStairs · 16/07/2014 07:54

Wow! Poor Bear! We all jumped on you there!

OP posts:
KittyandTeal · 16/07/2014 07:56

The Tobi is forward facing. I'd say he's too young for that, especially if he doesn't meet the weight requirements.

Just say thanks but no thanks. Would be useful for your next visit though

Mybigfatredwedding · 16/07/2014 07:57

Just say, 'thanks, he is not big enough for that seat yet so we are going to bring our own'. I think even my scaredy cat non confrontational self could manage that one!

Presumably he is still in an infant carrier then and they are pretty easy to transport aren't they?

coolaschmoola · 16/07/2014 08:02

My dd went into a Maxi Cosi Tobi 2 at 8kgs on the advice of Silver Cross (infant seat) and Maxi Cosi.

She was tall and the top of her head was above the top of the seat and therefore unprotected. Both manufacturers said it was far safer to move her up under the weight than to keep using the infant seat.

If you feel uncomfortable take your own seat, I always did when flying (you can get a flight bag for them and I used to strap bulky items like coats into the seat to save baggage space!)

RabbitSaysWoof · 16/07/2014 08:06

I would want rear facing at that age.

Original poster
TakingTheStairs · 16/07/2014 08:07

I've texted her to thank her very much for offering, and explained why it wasn't suitable and then thanked her for making the effort for us.

We're flying with BA who give a brilliant allowance for infants so bringing it really isn't a problem. I'll just throw it in the hold.

Thanks MNers!

OP posts: