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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oversubscribed football team gives one child 2 places while mine misses out...

49 replies

yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:19

Ds1 who is 8 loves football. He recently had Trials for a local club. He had played at school but this is the first where he would be playing proper competitive games.

He didn't get in. Dh and I,having watched the trials, weren't surprised. We thought he'd be upset but he was fine.

If it had ended there, there would be no aibu. But a friend has told me that ds's best mate, who is a very good footballer and played for this team last year, has got a place not just in the first team but also in the second (of 3) team.

I'm fucked off about this. Because there were many boys who didn't get in because the team is so over subscribed and it feels wrong that one child is given 2 places while some haven't any. Ds might or might not have got a place if this boy was only given one place but regardless I think this is wrong.

I am reluctant to say anything because I don't want to make things awkward for dd and his mate. But aibu to be pissed ogg? And what would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:20

Dd = ds
Ogg = off

Plus apologies for any other inevitable typos.

OP posts:
ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:22

How can he be playing for two teams? The fixtures will clash surely? Do they play in a league.

Do the club have a 'grassroots football' policy?

I'd have a word.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:23

The training doesn't clash and so far the matches haven't either. I don't know what a grass roots policy is - can you tell I'm new to this?

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Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:24

And they do play in a league. To complicate matters (not meaning to drip feed sorry) the coach is related to the boy in question...

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Bouttimeforwine · 15/07/2014 23:25

Are you sure both of them didn't offer him a place and he has to decide which team he is going to play for?

ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:25

I don't understand - how can he play for two teams, surely the fixtures would clash? Are they a 'grassroots' club? Which is meant to be encouraging all abilities to play together, with a fair play policy.

I'd be having a word. We had issues with parent coaches calling the shots and they are a right pain in the arse, but they threaten to walk if they don't get their own way so have the club over a barrel. It all gets quite political.

It's kids football for fucks sake. Everyone should be able to pay their subs and play the game.

macdoodle · 15/07/2014 23:26

They're 8 leave it be.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:28

I'm sure. Both (in fact all 3) teams run by the same coach. The information I have is from the mum of a boy who plays on the second team who knows the mum of this boy well. As do I. hence it being a bit awkward.

If I didn't know her (and actually be good friends with her never mind our boys friendship) I'd definitely say something.

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ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:29

The club my boys play for are in a league, so play fixtures with all the other clubs. The league is divided up into divisions - so div 1 are the strongest players, division 5 the lowest. So everyone plays teams of the same standard as them.

You pay to be in the league. You pay to be in the club and use the facilities. Coaches are volunteer parents, but often the club pays for their training.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:29

Fair enough macdoodle but do you advocate not standing up for your child if they've not been fairly treated?

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Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:30

Thanks for your explanations foxache.

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Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:31

Coach is not a parent. Not a close relative but a relative.

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ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:34

Is this person the head coach? It sounds a bit shit to be honest. Are there any other footy clubs around you?

He'll likely be playing for years to come, mine have and no matter how shit the club has been, they have stuck at it. In my experience you do have to speak up.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:39

There are several other clubs but we've missed their Trials as ds was insistent he wanted to play for only this club. In retrospect we were naive and should have put him into all the trials. We'll know better next year. I just wanted to get an idea of how others would view this before I make waves, especially as it might actually make no difference for ds if there were others ahead of him.

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FloozeyLoozey · 15/07/2014 23:40

If it's an fa league, they are only allowed to sign on for one team, the rules are incredibly strict.

On a site note, I'd advise all parents to get their kids to sign up for clubs as young as possible. Ds is 8 and has been training with his club since he was 5. Often by 8 they're all full up.

Picturesinthefirelight · 15/07/2014 23:41

If its a competitive team with places allocated on ability they have every right to turn away children who arnt up to the required standard.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:43

Floozey where we are there are Trials every year so even kids who have been playing with the club aren't guaranteed a place. Although clearly knowing other kids makes the trials easier for them.
I wish we'd got him to do this last year but really it's only been in the past few months that is become clear this is his big interest.

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ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:44

Mine haven't had trials - maybe to put them into a team, but not to actually get into a club. Sounds a bit serious. At 8 there is no indication of how good they will be. They don't really develop until 11/12.

I think there will be a better club.

ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:46

Any club worth joining will welcome all abilities at this age. Turning them away because they aren't good enough is bollocks.

Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:46

Pictures I don't have an issue with ds being turned away because he's not good enough. I do have an issue with them giving one kid 2 places when they made a big thing about it being an open selection and only turning people away because there weren't enough places.

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Original poster
yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:48

Foxsake I felt like you actually. Then thought I was being unreasonable because ds clearly wasn't as good as the others. But actually, yes, they're only 8! I wish there was a club that welcomed everyone regardless and then playing for a team was competitive. Rather than getting into the club. Sadly not here....

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steppemum · 15/07/2014 23:55

blimey that all sounds much more serious than around here.
Ds joined one of our local clubs, they welcomed him with open arms (they don't win many matches Grin) He was 10 when he joined. The coach is ace and has taught him so much, team very friendly, there is enough competition to keep them sharp, but it is friendly enough to be relaxed about the loses!

ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:58

Google the FA junior league for your area and have a look at their websites. My lads knew no one in their teams but 4 years on won't leave their team, even when they are without a coach and in division 5. At the bottom.

Go and see a couple, you'll get a feel for them and what they are trying to achieve. Make sure you know when the matches are, when they train.

Choose one with a cafe that does hot drinks and bacon rolls. There is a lot of standing in drizzle.

ohforfoxsake · 15/07/2014 23:59

Steppe mum - that's how it should be IMHO.

Happy36 · 16/07/2014 00:09

Are you sure the info. about the 2 places is accurate?

If I were you I'd leave this. If it was oversubscribed do you really want your son to be the kid who got in after his Mum made a fuss? (Or the kid whose Mum made a fuss?)

Can your son join a different football group elsewhere?