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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Oversubscribed football team gives one child 2 places while mine misses out...

49 replies

yellowdinosauragain · 15/07/2014 23:19

Ds1 who is 8 loves football. He recently had Trials for a local club. He had played at school but this is the first where he would be playing proper competitive games.

He didn't get in. Dh and I,having watched the trials, weren't surprised. We thought he'd be upset but he was fine.

If it had ended there, there would be no aibu. But a friend has told me that ds's best mate, who is a very good footballer and played for this team last year, has got a place not just in the first team but also in the second (of 3) team.

I'm fucked off about this. Because there were many boys who didn't get in because the team is so over subscribed and it feels wrong that one child is given 2 places while some haven't any. Ds might or might not have got a place if this boy was only given one place but regardless I think this is wrong.

I am reluctant to say anything because I don't want to make things awkward for dd and his mate. But aibu to be pissed ogg? And what would you do?

OP posts:

BackforGood · 16/07/2014 00:17

What Ohforfox said.
Find a club that understands U11s (well, 15 and under IMO) are all still developing, and football should be fun - a chance to practice and develop things like positional play. Any club that is "rejecting" 7 and 8 year olds is not a club I'd want my dc to have anything to do with, tbh.

PineconeMoonshine · 16/07/2014 00:34

I used to coach/manage a youth team of U10's a few years ago and the notion of trials for any team for the club I volunteered for or any other in the league is quite frankly ridiculous at such a young age unless it is an academy team. I would urge you to find a club who want the kids to enjoy the game rather than winning which is clearly the only goal the aforementioned team had in mind, which can be damaging for some kids and even put them off playing for good.

I used to encourage anyone who wanted to to join in, at very least with training, regardless of ability to try and give the kids the chances and encouragement I feel i never got when I played at that age.

Good luck with finding a team, there will be one out there for your son

clary · 16/07/2014 00:47

I agree with PPs, no club should be conducting trials for 8yos IMO unless it is an academy for a professional club.

It sounds odd to me anyway - I was a footie coach for a team for four years and could not possibly have coached/managed two others as well. In fact I had to stop managing the team as my job (was retaining as a teacher) meant I couldn't spare the time.

I would look about for another team. How come so many have trials? DS2 is looking for a new team for next season (long story) and a couple of teams have said he can come along and train. No mention of trials even at his age (he is 11 so it's u12s).

Original poster

yellowdinosauragain · 16/07/2014 06:03

You are all sharing my misgivings about it all. I don't disagree with competition for kids but also felt uneasy about the trials. Tbh we went along with it because it was what ds wanted.

There are a couple of clubs that don't do trials near us but most do pick teams like this, including all the ones closest to us that will have local kids that ds will grow up with. We'll have a look at them and I think although a part of me wants to pursue this actually id rather him play for a club with a more welcoming ethos. Thanks for helping me work that out.

OP posts:

NewtRipley · 16/07/2014 06:34

I have sometimes considered starting a team for children who are crap at football but love it. I'd hold anti-trials

NewtRipley · 16/07/2014 06:34

Not that I am saying your DS is crap. it's just this level of seriousness at 8 is a bit sad really.

QueenofLouisiana · 16/07/2014 07:03

Blimey! DS is a rugby player, not a great one, and was warmly welcomed when he wanted to join the local squad at the age of 8. He's able to play regularly in the 'development' team as they all roll on and off as subs.

I'd have hated it if they wouldn't even let him train because he wasn't good enough. I would hope that football would be even more inclusive- welcoming all and assembling teams from the group.

bigTillyMint · 16/07/2014 07:10

OP are you sure the other teams definitely don't have any spaces? IMHE, the less competitive teams don't fill up as fast and boys often drop out, so I would contact them and see if there is any hope.

Newt, my mate runs a team just like that! And a lovely boy I know captains a team who are pretty crap, but love playing

SanityClause · 16/07/2014 07:24

That is my experience with rugby, as well, Queen.

Training is for everyone, and teams are picked for the various fixtures from those who regularly train.

Even so, there are more A team fixtures than B team, but it is not at all uncommon for people to move up to the A team from the B team.

DS is dyspraxic, and while he tries really hard, he may never get the chance to play in an A team fixture. He still gets the chance to train regularly, which means he improves, and to play in some fixtures.

Idontseeanyicegiants · 16/07/2014 08:04

It sounds crap but in all honesty you and DS probably dodged a bullet there tbh. If it's that over the top competitive at this stage just imagine how bad it will get later on!
Hope you find a fairer team for him.

budgiegirl · 16/07/2014 08:07

I think it must be very tempting for clubs who are oversubscribed to run 'trials' . There are only so many children a club can register to play in leagues (I believe it's about 18 per 11 a side team) , so if demand is higher, the coaches have to pick which kids to register somehow.

Taking all children , no matter what their ability, is the ideal, but if there are more children than this allows, it becomes very difficult. Maybe the solution would be for more parents to volunteer to get trained as FA qualified coaches, so more teams could be entered .

That said, it seems mightily unfair that one child is playing in more than one team, even if they are related to the coach. But it could be physically possible if the teams are entered into different leagues, one may play on Saturday morning, one Sunday afternoon etc

Cascade · 16/07/2014 08:21

All football leagues are friendly leagues for boys and girls who are below the school year 5. Competitive leagues do not start until they reach u11 (school year 6) So if they are in year 5 and under there are no divisions and all children play against each other in one league. Some clubs do set up a system of 1st team, 2nd team ect. But they would still play against each other in the same league. Only when they reach year 6 will the league grade them into the right league so they are playing at the correct level.

SadOldGit · 16/07/2014 08:25

DS is 18 now and thankfully past this but remember it well. Where we are all the teams did trials from age 8 and above (and for each season). Luckily when DS wanted to join at 9 a newclub with an A, B and C team was starting up so he had trials but got in.

However every new season was anxious "would he get in" - he was an OK player - not outstanding, but unlike a lot turned up to practice and matches without fail - so was always in a team (usually the B team!)

budgiegirl · 16/07/2014 08:29

But even in friendly leagues, team A could be entered into a different league to team B, there are often more than one 'pool' in the same league due to the number of teams, or leagues could be in different areas, but still possible to enter. I know this from experience!

Cascade · 16/07/2014 08:43

yes your right budgiegirl but any league they enter would still be friendly and even if they have different pools it would be of mixed ability. What I have found is that in every area its a real mix of set ups, some clubs grade their kids, some clubs have a real community feel and are very inclusive. You just have to look round and find the right club for them. My dd plays for both these set ups. Saturdays she plays for a club that hold trials and on sundays she plays for her local community club.

mommy2ash · 16/07/2014 08:45

I don't agree with turning kids away surely at that age it should be about fun.

my dd plays Gaelic football and at the last match some of the mums of the kids on the other team were screaming that's it elbow her local her to the ground they were were six at the time lol crazy people

my dd is not a natural with sport at all. she would stand on the pitch chatting to the other team and then run off excitedly to tell me she made a friend. with the patience of her lovely coaches she is coming on a bit and I'm so glad they don't turn kids away.

budgiegirl · 16/07/2014 10:26

I agree Cascade, that they would be friendly and ideally mixed ability. I'm just pointing out how it would be possible for one child to play for more that one team. Not saying it's right though, especially when there are limited places.

And ideally all clubs would be mixed ability for 8 year olds. But that is an ideal, and I can see why there would be trials for clubs that are oversubscribed.

At the club where my boys play (and where my OH is a U14 coach), if teams are over subscribed, players are picked on a mixture of ability, commitment and attitude. So a really talented player will not necessarily be picked if they don't regularly attend training, or if they don't try hard.

littledrummergirl · 16/07/2014 10:42

My ds was never picked for the football team at that age, he was considered not sporty by his school and it was the same children at the club as in his school.

He started an individual sport away from those influences and is still doing it many years later. He has taken part in national comps(think school games).

Many of the other dcs no longer do sport.

You can waste your energy trying to change something that will offer massive resistance and I suspect will not be welcoming to your ds, or you can try other things and broaden his horizons. It worked for us

queenofthemountain · 16/07/2014 10:55

Surely if they are allowed to play in both the first and second teams ,then they could just 'sandbag' by filingl the second team with first team players so they win every match.
i do a different sport but this is strictly prohibited

BackforGood · 16/07/2014 21:31

Queenof and Sanity - it's not just rugby, it's all well run football leagues.
My dd plays U12s and they have roll on /roll off subs, as does my niece (another league in another county) at U18 level.

There are at the point of consultation as to whether to introduce it to all 'grassroots football' not just youth football.

SanityClause · 16/07/2014 21:49

Sorry, Back, I wasn't trying to imply that rugby is better run as a whole than football - I'm sure it's not the case, and that there are well run football clubs, and rubbish rugby clubs!

BackforGood · 16/07/2014 22:02

NewtRipley · 17/07/2014 08:14

Queen/Sanity

That is also my experience with rugby

Both my DSs were put off football really early on by the competitiveness, crowing by other boys and lack of inclusiveness

ohforfoxsake · 17/07/2014 10:47

Have to agree, football generally feels more aggressive. I've never had an oppositions mum have a go at me at an u11s rugby match.

Some of the football parents are awful.

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