Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about school report

29 replies

Gwladgwlad · 14/07/2014 21:03

My ds is end of yr 1 & 6.5 years old. We had school report today and he is on average for everything apart from writing where he is quite below average.

AIBU to worry or am I just being ridiculously neurotic. I feel like I should be celebrating his overall lovely report- teacher says he is lovely to teach and likes learning. He just really hasnt got writing yet & had some ELS help too which made a difference.

I hate the fact that I am even making it an issue but I can't help but worry about it! Its made me feel like we arent doing enough at home.

AIBU?

OP posts:
flupi · 14/07/2014 21:15

Don't worry in the slightest. He's fine! What's a bit of handwriting ? Celebrate what he's good at.

D0oinMeCleanin · 14/07/2014 21:18

Dd2 was below average across the board last year. This year she is average on all but MFL (above average) and speaking and listening (below)

All children are different.

flupi · 14/07/2014 21:22

All children learn at different rates- hare and tortoise and all that .....
Be proud, don't let your ds think you only care about the thing he can't do so well

hmc · 14/07/2014 21:26

They really do develop at different rates. My dd who was really quite worryingly behind her peers in YR, Y1, Y2 and Y3 in all aspects of literacy is now 12 years old and in Y7. She recently gained top marks (in her year group) in the Y7 exams for Biology, Chemistry, geography, history and Design a technology and did well in her other subjects too. We would never have envisaged future academic success for her when she was ks1 & 2. She is dyslexic btw

NewtRipley · 14/07/2014 21:27

In year 1 I wouldn't worry.

I think the best thing you can do to encourage a the desire to write and an understanding of language and what writing is for, is to read or listen to audiobooks.

If his fine motor skills are a little weak so it hurts to write, then using scissors, bead threading, pincer grip to pick up small things like Lego are all helpful

But I really wouldn't make him write.

hmc · 14/07/2014 21:27

Not Design a technology, I meant Design Technology

Passthecake30 · 14/07/2014 21:32

I just know this is going to be me on Wednesday. Ds has had some els help and is prob lower in writing and maths and average in others. ..I am just going to try and ignore all the braggers on Facebook etc and try and show him I'm proud of him. ..

AngelsWithSilverWings · 14/07/2014 21:34

My y1 dd is average or just below in everything, but I cried tears of pride reading the lovely words written about how hard she works and how far she has come in overcoming her shyness and confidence issues.

DS's ( Y3) report was all amazingly high levels for his age and excellent test results but with loads of waffle which was just a polite way of telling me that he is a very lazy little boy and could do better.

I was definitely happier about DD's report.

Original poster
Gwladgwlad · 14/07/2014 21:36

Thanks for your posts- it is reassuring to know that I probably am worrying very early on. Think we are going to encourage a holiday diary to get him writing a bit. Suspect he will need ELS again in yr 2.

OP posts:
mumminio · 14/07/2014 21:39

It doesn't mean you aren't doing enough at home - he's doing well at everything else. Perhaps he just needs some extra help with writing.

Could you ask the teacher for ideas about what you could do at home to help him improve his writing skills?

Original poster
Gwladgwlad · 14/07/2014 21:40

And it was lovely to read that he is a lovely caring eager kind boy - even if he does have a neurotic mother!!

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 14/07/2014 22:28

What flupi said. Any males I've come across in my life with neat handwriting have been just a bit weird.

Happy36 · 15/07/2014 01:30

You are not being unreasonable. Over the summer keep a diary with him to write down two or three sentences about what he does each day. Keep it interesting and I am sure he will feel inspired. On some of the days you could write one of the sentences for him to copy, otherwise give him a wordbox where you write, say, up to 5 "tricky" words which he can copy. Many children don´t enjoy writing and therefore don´t put as much effort into it as other areas of their classwork, but when they write about things they enjoy they seem to forget it´s writing and just get carried away. Allow your son to write about things like what happened in football matches or films and I hope you will see him writing animatedly and fluidly.

If he is reluctant to start the diary at first things like getting to decorate it or a special pencil only for writing in the diary can be useful incentives.

This should ensure that he goes back to school ready to ace Year 2. Good luck!

Freckletoes · 15/07/2014 01:42

My DSs were both really slow to write neatly-I put it down to slow development of dexterity and because they are messy boys My DD wrote beautifully right from day one and now at 12 yrs she is messier than her older brother!

blueballoon79 · 15/07/2014 08:20

My son was really behind in all subjects throughout primary school.
At first it was quite upsetting and I'd worry a lot, but then I taught myself to ignore the levels he was achieving and concentrate on comments about effort, helpfulness and kindness.

As long as his report spoke positively about these things I was happy and classed it as a good report.

He's now in Year 8 and he is above average in most subjects and a few of his subject teachers have told me he's performing at GCSE level!

He has been through a lot of hardship including the death of his Dad and many problems due to his disability and I believe this was impacting greatly on his school work.

Obviously I'm over the moon that he's now doing so well, but I still look for effort, helpfulness and kindness!

I, on the other hand found school extremely easy. I was moved up a year as I was so far ahead, yet I just wasn't as able at maths.

My Dad never let it drop. All he would ever talk about was his disappointment of how I wasn't any good at maths. It hurt a lot as I put a lot of effort into every subject, but he seemed to ignore all my achievements and merely pick up on the one thing I struggled with.

Don't do the same op. Celebrate his report. Don't worry about it.

QueenHaakonVII · 15/07/2014 08:39

My two sons never learnt to write neatly. It used to drive their teachers mad and it was always mentioned in school reports and parent teacher interviews. They were always rubbish at drawing and crafting too.

They went to schools where they were taught to write properly and I did a lot of things with them at home but their writing was always poor. Their sisters both have beautiful writing so I have decided it not my fault Wink

Once they get older the poor handwriting doesn't matter as much as long as it legible, even if it does look childish. It hasn't held them back academically at all.

Nanny0gg · 15/07/2014 10:06

I don't think the OP means handwriting, I think she means 'writing'...

I hate to be sexist Gwladgwlad but this is not uncommon in boys. The very act of sitting still with a piece of paper in front of you that you have to fill up with words... ugh!

If you are going to give writing 'tasks' make them very short - and fun. Don't give blank pieces of paper. If it is about a certain subject - the beach for example - can you do a sheet with illustrations where he just has to write on the sandcastle, for example? And the other pictures jog his memory?
Talk to him about what he wants to say first and make him come up with some good adjectives (describing words to him!) that will give him ideas of what he could write.

Or take some photos together and get him to write short descriptions about what is happening in them.

PoirotsMoustache · 15/07/2014 11:42

My DS loathes writing, was very behind all through YRR, YR1 & YR2 and at the end of YR3 he still struggles, although he is much better than he was.

They're only little still, there is no huge rush for them to learn to write well immediately. It will come in time, especially as time passes and progress is made which encourages them to try harder.

Children learn at their own pace, and your DS will get there. The school obviously are aware of the extra help he needs (just like my DS did), and they'll make sure that continues for as long as it's needed.

I felt just like you at the end of YR1, and the end of YR2, but now I've realised that there is no point in worrying. Just encourage and praise what they achieve, and don't make a big deal of what they struggle with.

QueenHaakonVII · 15/07/2014 11:43

Oh dear, Blush. Sorry, I didn't read the OP properly.

Igggi · 15/07/2014 11:55

Mine is like this. He briefly got quite into keeping a diary when we got him a nice pen and notebook to use, but seems to have lost momentum again.
I might get him to "help" me by writing out a shopping list for me (a very short one!) so he sees writing as purposeful. He'd probably rather do a list for Santa!

MrsPnut · 15/07/2014 12:02

Don't forget that writing doesn't just have to be putting pencil to paper. My DD does loads of writing on the computer because it isn't as much "work" as doing it manually.

Also encourage reading, this has helped my DD's writing by increasing her vocabulary.

derektheladyhamster · 15/07/2014 12:05

My ds was scarily behind up until yr 4 in writing, He's just got a level 5 in his Yr 6 sats, So don't worry too much at this stage (I did get extra help in yr 5 & 6 though)

FuckyNell · 15/07/2014 12:18

Gosh my ds is 12 and I still have to remind him of finger spaces Grin

Backtobedlam · 15/07/2014 12:30

Glad to read some positive comments, my ds' report was very similar. However, I'm just focusing on how far he has come this year for him, instead of comparing him to others. There must be a lot of average kids out there, it's just you only hear about the above average on fb and similar. Enjoy a fun summer with your ds, whilst I value education, grades aren't everything.

Marylou62 · 15/07/2014 12:32

Must say as a mother of 3 who are now all in fulltime work and lovely normal, polite members of society....stop worrying!! I decided early on to go straight to the bit where their teacher (usually!) said nice things...DD is a friendly class member...DS enjoys sport..etc I chose to ignore all the minute details...My DB had awful writing skills and is now a scientist with awful (but just legible) handwriting....thankfully so much is done with computers these days...All I ever wanted was normal polite DCs who are well thought off....I can relax now.