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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at being accused of being a horrible person

43 replies

Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 11:13

Today I was in my kitchen which looks out on to the road, a fairly private road that you wouldn't come down unless you were visiting someone in one of the houses.

I saw a man taking a photo of my house and a group of people talking outside, in my emotional pregnant state went to ask if they minded taking a photo without asking. ( I know it's not illegal to take photos of places without permission btw but it was obvious I was in so thought it was polite to ask first!)
One if the men starting having a go at me saying they used to live here etc and I just said that was fine but could they have knocked and I would have spoken to them etc. he said I wouldnt have let them take the photo as I was a horrible person anyway and said the people who lived here before were much nicer etc etc.
I have been upset by this partly my own fault as I wish I hadn't gone out to say anything but I just felt its polite to ask people before photographing their home. I would if I wanted to do this to someone's house specifically
I am prepared to be told IABU but just wondered what other people's opinions were on this?

OP posts:
Cocolepew · 14/07/2014 11:15

He was, a cheeky rude fucker.
YANBU. Think no more about it.

susanjones123 · 14/07/2014 11:18

YABU to be upset by this.

He's just some random bloke so why give a fuck about his opinion of anything, your personality included!!

Thereistoomuchconfusion · 14/07/2014 11:18

I would have said something too, yanbu.

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 11:23

I know he's just a random bloke and I did say I was pg so over emotional!
Its nice to know there's someone else who would have said something too.

OP posts:
BuildYourOwnSnowman · 14/07/2014 11:27

I made an estate agent delete photos of my house because my kids were sitting in the front window and told him he should knock and ask as a courtesy.

Very rude IMO so yanbu

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2014 11:28

YABU really

I can't see why anyone would knock a the door, in fact they might come across as weird.

I would have just taken the snapshot and moved on.

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 11:34

Fair enough, I must have had a few weirdos come to my previous house then as they all knocked on the door and even asked to come in and look round the house!!
I have had people knock

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 11:35

Knock before too as they used to live here. Think it's not odd unless you were a complete random who had no connection with the house.
Each to their own though.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/07/2014 11:36

he should have taken more photos when he lived there then. Hes the nasty person, not you

CarbeDiem · 14/07/2014 12:01

I don't see anything wrong with you asking what he was doing - I don't give a flying frig if it's legal to take a photo anywhere. I'd want to know why my house was being photographed.
I'd have been cool with the reason that he gave and if he'd knocked first he may well have had a cuppa out of it too.

Take no notice of his opinion of you.

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2014 12:04

I'd want to know why too

But the OP didn't ask that, she had a moan at him for not asking her permission.

NoodleOodle · 14/07/2014 12:05

He sounds like an angry person, try to not let it get to you. If he really thought he was being reasonable, he wouldn't have gone on the offensive as a defence tactic.

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:07

The man who took the photo wasn't the man who used to live here though! I did say that if they had knocked I would have been perfectly open to a chat/ photo taking. The guy who used to live here then said I wouldn't have been because I was obviously a horrible person etc and stood for a few minutes without letting me get a word in then ending by walking off shouting good riddance. I just couldn't understand the need for the rudeness really.

OP posts:
FraidyCat · 14/07/2014 12:09

I think it's perfectly reasonable to take photos of a house, from the street, without asking permission. In fact Google Streetview has done the whole country/world.

Residents may be curious and ask the reason, if they noticed, but if they hadn't noticed and the reason was innocuous, I'm sure most would have preferred not to have been disturbed.

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:12

I didn't have chance to ask why they were taking the photo and didn't moan at him, just asked if they would have minded knocking first to ask out of politeness.
There were 4 of them and the others seemed fairly reasonable, just this one man wasn't obviously.
I was going to apologise and have a pleasant chat but he wouldn't let me. When someone starts raising their voice to me I tend to take offence.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:17

I understand anyone can take a photo from the street but the way the houses are here when you're on the street you are right outside the front of the house so it's quite obvious. Google street view is a bit different and photographs every house, infact he could have gone on there to look at the house if he really wanted to see it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/07/2014 12:18

If you're confident that you didn't come across as a horrible person, then don't worry about what he thinks of you.

It's not worth stressing about

zippey · 14/07/2014 12:24

YABU

You dont sound "horrible", but the person may have been annoyed because you started questioning something he was legally entitled to do. It would have annoyed me too if I was the photographer.

Its perfectly legal for Google or anyone else to take photographs outside. You also cant assume that he knew you were in. And even if he knew, i'd think it was a bit creepy if he had knocked on my door to ask if he could take pictures. So each to their own about knocking on individual doors to ask to take photographs.

MrsKoala · 14/07/2014 12:30

Oh dear. We went to Ramsgate a couple of years ago and Dad looked up his beloved Grandparents house, where he used to spend his summers as a boy. He took loads of pics for sentimental reasons and we didn't ask anyones permission - it wouldn't occur to me to have knocked. Perhaps i should tell Dad he should have taken more pictures when he stayed there in 1950 so he wouldn't need them now Hmm Grin

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:33

So annoyed that he starting making assumptions about me and then walking away shouting good riddance!

I wish I'd never opened the front door now. I really d

OP posts:
PsychologicalSaline · 14/07/2014 12:34

I'd be suspicious of four men acting all defensive and hostile when challenged as to what they were doing. Have you just had new windows or work done to your house. Some dodgy companies will take photos of work that isn't theirs (double glazing etc) and use it to promote their own business fraudulently.

sanfairyanne · 14/07/2014 12:34

50:50 on this

they sound rude and aggressive but i wouldnt expect anyone to knock to ask for permission unless they wanted to see inside the house/garden

Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:38

I think the photo was because the house has changed since they lived here and that's fine. My front windows were fairly wide open so I think that's quite a give away that I was in.
If I was taking a photo of somewhere I used to live I would knock and ask first but can see others might feel weird about that. I'll just lock myself away next time til the people have gone so I can't get into trouble again! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantstayawake · 14/07/2014 12:43

There were 2 women aswell. The lady that appeared to be the shouty man's DW/DP tried to speak but couldn't get a word in and also tried to pull the man away so he didn't say any more stuff.
I don't think they were dodgy and if they had waited for me to hold a decent conversation I'm sure it would have been more pleasant.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 14/07/2014 12:43

But you are not a horrible person. I don't see his response as connected. You asked a civil question. He responded aggressively.

You are not horrible. He is.