To be upset at being accused of being a horrible person

[Cantstayawake]

Today I was in my kitchen which looks out on to the road, a fairly private road that you wouldn't come down unless you were visiting someone in one of the houses.

I saw a man taking a photo of my house and a group of people talking outside, in my emotional pregnant state went to ask if they minded taking a photo without asking. ( I know it's not illegal to take photos of places without permission btw but it was obvious I was in so thought it was polite to ask first!)
One if the men starting having a go at me saying they used to live here etc and I just said that was fine but could they have knocked and I would have spoken to them etc. he said I wouldnt have let them take the photo as I was a horrible person anyway and said the people who lived here before were much nicer etc etc.
I have been upset by this partly my own fault as I wish I hadn't gone out to say anything but I just felt its polite to ask people before photographing their home. I would if I wanted to do this to someone's house specifically
I am prepared to be told IABU but just wondered what other people's opinions were on this?

I can understand you going out to find out what they were doing, but you should probably just have smiled and said 'can I help you'? or somesuch.
But that doesn't entitle the guy to tell you that you're a 'horrible person'. He sounds like an ignorant twat and I certainly wouldn't worry about what he said to you.

I know that's what I should have said vintage!
It's done now and I've got over the upset feeling. Think hormones are on overdrive which didn't help.

He sounds horrible.

BUT - I wouldn't dream of asking the owner's permission to take a photo of the outside of their house

Yanbu to be upset about being called a horrible person, but yabu to go out and talk to the people, they were legally within their rights to take photos, it doesn't sound like they were trespassing. I wouldn't even think to ask someone's permission to photograph their house, the only time you need to gain permission is if you intend to use the images to promote or advertise something.

I wouldn't expect someone to knock and ask to take a photo of my house. But I would probably ask them what they were doing cause I'd be curious. I think your initial question was OTT and then he proved himself to be a knob. Not worth worrying about tho, honestly!

Yanbu to be upset at how rude they were.
Yabu to expect them to ask if they can take a photo of your house from the street.

YABU - you were confrontational and rude, so you got a rude response.
If you would like people to be polite to you then try being polite yourself.

He was probably suffering from hormone trouble....

Isn't that what is always said?

Try to ignore him and move on, he doesn't know you and will probably never come into contact with you again, so file his memory under "R" for rubbish....

How often have they been back to visit your house over the years?

The one who used to live their said that you wouldn't have let them take a photo had they asked and that "the people who lived their before you were much nicer than you are" but how does he know?

Does he make a habit of coming back for a photo every so often? This can't be the first time if he can comment on the previous owners before you.

And I'm sorry, but that's weird. I still pass my childhood street every now and again, but I don't make a habit of driving down it to take photo's of my old house and make judgements on the new owners. This bloke sounds like he makes a habit of it.

And since they took the photo without coming to ask first, he has no idea how nice or not nice you might have been in comparison to the owners before you or how likely you would have been to agree to it had they asked first.

I can understand why someone taking a picture of your house might upset you, especially as you are pregnant and feeling emotional. My PILs spent months effectively stalking me, waiting outside the house, watching it from further down the road, driving around and around it in circles etc, checking where we were and what we were doing. I ended up being too scared to open the curtains in case they were out there looking in. Having some strange group of people taking a photo for no obvious reason would probably worry me as well.

But ignore what he said. He doesn't know you and he was the one being horrible.

I'd be suspicious of four men acting all defensive and hostile when challenged as to what they were doing.

She didn't challenge them as to what they were doing.

The OP had a problem with them not knocking at her door and asking to take a photo.

They were very rude. I would have been worried if someone was taking photos of my home. I'd wonder what their motives were!

I once, however ,had a lovely lady knock and tell me that she used to spend her summer holidays at my house and had wonderful memories and would she mind if her husband took a photo of her outside the front door.

I invited her in and ,after we had chatted long enough for me to discover that I knew her Aunt who had owned the house for 40 years, I gave her a tour and took some photos of her and her husband in the garden.

I bumped into her Aunt a few weeks later and she told me that the lady was her niece and had just experienced a very tragic loss and part of her therapy was to go back and visit all of her happy places.

I'm really glad I invited her in and I only did so because she was so polite.

Let's hope you've seen the last of the rude man at least. If he does go to stand outside your home to call you that again, remind him that since you are such a "horrible person", there's obviously nothing to attract him back to your house, is there?

Another reason I wouldn't have knocked and asked permission (apart from the fact it would be weird), is because what if the house owner said no?

I'd obviously take the photo anyway because I wouldn't be doing anything illegal/wrong.

But what's the point in asking if I'm going to go ahead anyway?

In his shoes I wouldn't have asked either - in fact, if I'd seen somebody looking out the window, I'd have not hung about and left with or without the shot! However I would certainly not have been so rude to somebody who was asking what I was doing either - I'd be fully aware that although I'm legally in the right, it isn't normal behaviour and you'd have every right to be concerned.

I'm sorry that twat upset you, I'd be upset too. You're not horrible, just concerned. Whilst I would probably have asked "Can I help you?" because I hate confrontation, you were quite within your rights to say what you did as well.

However I would certainly not have been so rude to somebody who was asking what I was doing either

But that's the whole point

The OP did not ask what he was doing

She just told him he should have knocked and asked permission to take a photo.

Even if they had knocked to ask and I did say no (which I wouldn't have) they could have just gone ahead and taken the photo as people have rightly said it's not illegal to do so.
They didn't need my permission I know that, I wasn't rude when saying would mind asking first, and once I had realised they were not dodgy or anything I was perfectly open to having a polite conversation about the time they used to live here as I have done with other past residents. I didn't have chance to say anything else as the previous resident started his character assassination on me first.
It is done now and as I say the next time I will not even question people standing and staring or taking photos right outside my house. I'll have to hide away until they've gone though to save further unreasonable questioning!
Thanks for the responses all

Seriously just forget about it

You don't think you were rude to say that, he clearly thought you were and became much ruder in response.

The world is full of twats and he's just one of them.

He was jolly rude. You were in the front of the house so you could easily have been captured in his picture.

Yeah, there's no law against taking pictures of private property, except in particular circs, but since you came out and were polite, he should have been polite in return. No need for nastiness.