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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should pay?

95 replies

notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 15:15

Namechanged as don't want to be outed.

DD17 was desparate to see a well known act - one word, starts with E, please don't mention it as she is bound to check Mumsnet to see if I have posted about it, in West London tonight.

Her dad bought her a ticket for £80 for her birthday. Her best mate bought the tickets for DD, BF, and another girl to go and XH paid BF the £80.

When the tickets arrived, there were 6 instead of 3, so the BF sold three of them.

DD goes to London today to go to the gig, has talked about little else for months. Turns out, the Act was also on last night. BF has sold DDs ticket which was for tonight and left the three girls with the tickets for last night which are now obviously useless. BF and the other girl have coughed up £100 each to a tout for tickets for tonight. DD doesn't have £100 so they have let her travel the 2.5 hours home alone.

I am beyond livid on DD behalf. I have spoken to her and she doesn't think BF will be reimbursing her/XH for the £80 he has paid for the ticket BF then sold ( and kept the money for)

I do realise she made a mistake but AIBU in expecting her to pay the money back as it was her mistake and DD/XH shouldn't be out of pocket?

Thanks Vipers.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/07/2014 16:54

I wouldn't give this bitch the ticket if I could help it.

glasgowstevenagain · 12/07/2014 16:58

I paid you 80 for a ticket you never gave me one....

Simple

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 17:02

glasgow I think this is the first time I have ever agreed with you about anything Grin

OP posts:
GloriousGoosebumps · 12/07/2014 17:14

Given that your exh is all but guaranteed to cave, why don’t you get him to give you the ticket for the next gig then you can sell it on to another of your daughter’s friends (and he can hide behind you!).

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 19:04

Yes that is what I was thinking.

DD is now claiming that her friend will pay us back. I will need evidence I think but in fact I think what I really need to do is to have a serious talk to DD about why her bar is set so appallingly low in what she will accept in her relationships.

If she accepts this from a friend what will her "romantic" relationships be like?

I may have to accept that I will never know for sure whether best mates "payment" gets passed straight back to her, but what is probably more important is that she realises this behaviour was wrong on so many levels.

Thanks for your input. So good to know IAMNBU Grin

OP posts:
ohdearitshappeningtome · 12/07/2014 19:13

It doesn't matter if the friend is out of pocket she still sold on your dd ticket accident or not so therefore your dd is entitled to that money back!

I would encourage her to minimialise contact with these numpties!

PhaedraIsMyName · 12/07/2014 19:21

Am I the only person who doesn't understand the question?

hamptoncourt · 12/07/2014 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 19:24

epic name change fuck up - I have reported my own post to get it deleted - big sigh.

So anyway, phaedra my question is AIBU to think DDs friend should pay her back the £80 she was given for a gig ticket that she then sold on by accident, leaving DD with a ticket for a gig that took place last night and is therefore unusable.

OP posts:
PhaedraIsMyName · 12/07/2014 19:31

Your post is unclear. You talk about her father buying her a ticket and her best friend buying her a ticket and her best friend getting 6 tickets instead of 3.

LIZS · 12/07/2014 19:37

I think dd's father paid the friend for the ticket bought on dd's behalf as a gift. dd never saw the money only understood she would have a ticket for tonight which turned out not to be the case. Either friend sold the tickets for tonight by accident (did recipients want tonight or last night 's gig I wonder) or there never were any tickets for tonight and she booked the wrong date.

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 19:38

OK, for the gig tonight, best friend ordered 6 tickets when she meant to order three ( how she managed this I do not know, all done online)When she realised she had received, and been charged for 6 tickets, she sold three of them.
When the three girls went to London today, and got their tickets out to look at, they realised that the tickets that had been sold on had been for tonights gig, whereas the tickets they had left were for last night, and therefore now useless - the Act in question was performing for two nights.

XH had given best friend the money for DDs ticket for DDs birthday present.

Later this summer. there is another gig - actually it's a festival, that they are both going to. In this instance, XH ordered the 2 tickets online and best friend has already paid XH for her ticket. The tickets haven't actually arrived yet.

Sorry it was unclear, it is a bit complex!!

OP posts:
Pipbin · 12/07/2014 19:41

I don't understand where the 3 extra tickets come from. If it was an accident then it was very dishonest of the friend to sell them. If it she bought them, then why?

Pipbin · 12/07/2014 19:45

Sorry. Cross post.

If the friend sold the tickets that she thought were for last night's gig then surely whoever bought the tickets would get back to her?
Someone thinks they are buying tickets for Friday night, only to get them and find out it's for Saturday night.

I still smell a rat.

LIZS · 12/07/2014 19:48

me too . I'd want to see the email receipts to see if she ever had tickets for tonight . You only make mistakes by having multiple windows open or refreshing the screen and those would usually be identical. How could a 17yo buy online anyway ?

Pipbin · 12/07/2014 19:50

How could a 17yo buy online anyway ?

May be she is 18. Or using a parents credit card. Or can you use debit cards online under 18?

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 20:07

She was using her mums credit card. She was debited for all 6 tickets.

I don't know what happened re the tickets that were sold/what the expectations were there from the people that bought them - that bit isn't really my problem to be honest.

I am annoyed that my DD ended up ditched in West London not really knowing where she was, because she couldn't afford an extra £100 for the touts tickets, and that the friend was initially refusing to cough up.

Allegedly now she has seen the error of he ways and will be paying back the £80 but obviously I do not trust her.

Just hope DD will find some more reliable friends soon.

OP posts:
slithytove · 12/07/2014 20:08

I get it.

6 tickets were bought by evil friend (EF). She intended to buy 3.

When tickets arrived, EF sold 3. Presumably thinking they were all for the Saturday night.

3 tickets were left. DD Dad paid for 1 as DD birthday present. EF has this money. EF and DD believe the tickets were for Saturday night.

Arrive for the concert on Saturday, and EF realises that the tickets she has bought are for Friday, which has passed. DD has to go home alone.

CONCLUSION
EF fucked up. DD is out of pocket through no fault of her own (not her dad as it was DD's present). EF owes DD the cost of her original ticket and a massive apology.

SOLUTION
DD takes the festival ticket that EF has already paid for and sells it to recoup the money. Keep dad out of it.

slithytove · 12/07/2014 20:10

And yes, it is entirely possible that EF fucked up with the resale of the tickets too, and that the buyers made a mistake. However you have to use specific sites now to resell tickets and I would have thought she would have looked at them pretty closely to input details.

Having said that, it is odd that she managed to separate the tickets into Friday and Saturday the first time correctly without noticing dates!

slithytove · 12/07/2014 20:12

I would also be interested to know if EF sold the 3 spare tickets for face value, or if she made a profit. As it's possible she made a big profit and won't be out of pocket at all even having to refund the £80. I would imagine an £80 face value ticket for this gig would go for double that on a resale site.

ExcuseTypos · 12/07/2014 20:16

So all 6 peopel who bought the tickets are out of pocket?

Tbh I think there's a lot of harsh replies. The for end obviously didn't do any of this on purpose. She's pissed off 6 people, including herself.

slithytove · 12/07/2014 20:22

Chances are the three spares which were sold, everything went fine. If they are anything like me, they would have checked the date of the tickets when they were posted.

Chances are as well that EF isn't out of pocket if she sold the 3 extra for a profit.

Original poster
notatallslimshady · 12/07/2014 20:24

Slithy yes that's it exactly!!!! Loving EF

I will try to find out if she sold them for a profit - entirely possible given the act concerned. That is a really good point that she would have had to put all the details in carefully -unless she sold them to people at college/work but I do believe she thought they were all for the Saturday night and didn't realise until today that the three she had left were actually for the Friday.

OP posts:
SquigglySquid · 12/07/2014 20:27

I can see this being an honest mistake on BF's part. But, she should have used the money she profited from the three sold tickets to get DD a new one since 1. it was her fault DD was out a ticket and 2. She was given money to give DD a ticket. The fact that she sent her home on her birthday like that is appalling.

I hope she gets some better friends soon. It's one thing to mess up and make a mistake. It's a completely separate ball game to make your friends pay for your mistake.

Really, I wouldn't spend another dime on this bitch friend.

On a separate note, now is a good time for DD to learn that you don't have money/tickets/anything until it's in your hand. It's a good lesson to learn with paychecks and anything else.

flyingtrue · 12/07/2014 20:32

Your DD definitely needs to stand up for herself now, she'll likely be annoyed with you because she knows you are right and will need someone to take her frustrations out. She needs to direct them in the right place. The fact she is so dependent on her best friend means that if best friend is a skeevey twat then she can and will use your DD as suuits her.

DD definitely needs more independence from her but I really don't know the best suggestion-especially for a teen. Maybe someone else can help with that?