to puke on the driveway?

[iamdivergent]

So I go home last night, and she has bought the wrong food. I let her know specifically which kind to get me but she did not listen. (how can she not interpret me eating little yummy morsels perfectly spaced out - rather than wolfing it down at once to get it'd over with!)

so WIBU to puke it up on the driveway? she was not happen when she went to the car this morning I watched her from the window and meowed

They're just never happy. The medium sized person moaned about 'all the bloody mess' when I caught one of those magpies (after she complained about their noise, was doing her a favour) and left it, as proof, in the living room (mostly). So, I caught three mice and left them lined up, tidily, on the patio. She still moaned. There's no pleasing some folk.

I managed to puke on the new sofa only 3 days after it came home. That'll teach them for not asking my opinion because I preferred the old one. Honestly you just get the house how you like it and they change things around.

My twin sister managed to produce a hairball on top of the kitchen cupboard. You should have heard the shrieking and cursing from my servants, it was hilarious!

I puked on mum's side of the bed this morning. She changed the sheets yesterday so I thought I'd thank her. She repaid me after the World Cup barbecue she went to earlier and puked on the en suite floor where I like to sit because the warm pipes run under the floor... the dirty woman

In my defence, I'd felt rotten all day...

Ho Ho, so today I caught a big fat wood pigeon, it was a true prize, nearly as big as me. I didn't want to leave it at the back door it was far too special a present for that.
Instead I left it in the little humans' playhouse, they must have been so impressed and overjoyed at discovering it as the screaming and wailing went on until the big human took it away (greedy cow, bet she took it away to eat it all herself).

well beat me then, last week I uncharacteristically peed all over mums house/car keys for no obvious reason then on saturday I pissed in my mums bfs empty lunchbox that was waiting to go in the dishwasher!!!

Well I'm in the doghouse, the waitress caught me in the act of peeing on her iPad this morning, a really unnecessary [shocked] face! Well if she hadn't changed the litter brand I wouldn't have had to teach her a lesson!

See I am still so traumatised I can make smileys

blueberry You poor little soul - your waitress needs to buck her ideas up, sharpish. You were just expressing your displeasure - she should learn from this and make sure that you are kept happy at all times.

Personally I like to keep them on their toes wth variety ...

There's been a mouse under their bed for days (I left it alive to prolong the fun) but that's only cost them a fiver for traps and some peanut butter so far - bugger

So yesterday I put in a lot of work on a dead bird, leaving a little heap of bloody intestines by the fridge and the rear end (legs akimbo, tail and a bit of bum) on the sink

Did they appreciate it? Did they buggery ... must try harder

My human rescued my Mum and I from a rescue centre 2 months ago. We are on a mission to not only thank her by bringing her gifts but teach her all about the local habitat.

We have bought to her bedroom a mole, a vole, 6 dead mice, 3 living mice (she's only found one body after the smell got too much after I starved this mouse), a baby blackbird (particularly pleased with the cheeping/death song this little creature made), and 2 privet hawk moths.

The human seemed quite pleased with all these gifts but was loudly delighted with the three piles of vomit I left her two nights ago that were still warm when she stepped in one and jumped in delight into the other!

My Mum and I are becoming immune to the smell of antibacterial wipes that are used to deftly collect our gifts.

I have a great game now - well me and the other two things that I have to share a house with ...we leave the guts on the patio but my servant has to play 'hunt the mouse body' ...it's such fun for them

she stepped on a mouse head the other day while feeding the precious things she keeps locked in the shed ...they squeak and are fat and look like they'd taste nice but she tells us 'pets NOT food' and chases us out

This morning our staff got up to a mousie paw and intestines on the patio and down the path a pile of vomitted up undigested mousie. My brother just ran in and scoffed his breakfast.

Mum looked a bit queasy- is pregnant. Dadstaff had to dispose of it.

My servant's live a couple of doors from hebe but I occasionally allow her and her dc's to stroke me when I'm in what they foolishly believe to be their garden. The other day the stroking session didn't last as long as it should have so I had diarrhoea all over their onions in their vegetable patch. They'll learn!

My servants have a nice lawn and I love eating the grass but it does disagree with me. I hate it when my mumslave grabs me to chuck me out just when I'm hacking it up, it really puts me off my 'walking backwards whilst heaving' dance. To teach her a lesson I pooed under the dining table.

hebe that'll learn 'em

today I have fought twice. Once with evil neighbourhood cat and secondly with the venetian blinds. I won the owner was displeased...

This morning because I am awesome I lefts mouse head in smallest slave's doll bed. They didn't seem please and threw me out

we haven't come home this morning - this is the best way to punish the servant - she is really worried :(

Oh no gordy

There are cats doing amazing things...see the daily fail that staff like to read....www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2694206/No-ordinary-cat-fight-Heroic-tabby-Smudge-comes-rescue-owner-5-jumping-bullies-pushed-ground.html

Gordycats have you come home yet? You probably should. They get quite upset.

Take them a big fat present on your return Gordy.

I woke my servant at 5:00 am this morning. Well, it was light and I had bought her a nice mouse. Took some waking her but I howled loudly and long enough so she was wide awake to hear me crunching the gift. The stomach and guts I left for her were received with some disdain.