to puke on the driveway?

[iamdivergent]

So I go home last night, and she has bought the wrong food. I let her know specifically which kind to get me but she did not listen. (how can she not interpret me eating little yummy morsels perfectly spaced out - rather than wolfing it down at once to get it'd over with!)

so WIBU to puke it up on the driveway? she was not happen when she went to the car this morning I watched her from the window and meowed

When it's very cold and your slaves have put something wet, white and cold all over the garden it is only right to show your thanks by by doing a crafty poo in your slaves new shoes. If they don't like it they shouldn't cover the garden up.

YY - poo in their shoes - if you don't crack down on your servants' unacceptable behaviour, you will make a rod for your own back. They may even think that they are in charge!

Puking outside is a good start but to really make your point felt you need to throw up in the "bed" she made you out of an old duvet. This means "she" has to wash and dry the bed, which takes hours, leaving you free to kip on the sofa in the absence of a suitable alternative. Using big, soulful eyes and a bit of sorrowful whining helps with part 2 of this operation.
HTH
Schulenberg Hound

I particularly enjoy to hoik up my lunch while sitting atop the radiator. Then I relax on the landing and listen to the cursing while they try to clean it.

And I heard them tell the small person's teacher on the phone that they have no idea where she heard those words.

YANBU in the slightest.In fact you are jolly considerate. I puked on the rug in the living room this morning.I left them a mouse under the sofa last night and not even a Thankyou! That'll teach them.Love Coco.x.

Oooh forgot to mention the Frontline incident last week.I might wake them up by sticking my nose in their ears at 3am.

Washing your bum while everyone is eating their dinner is highly recommended. It will get the children watching you and not eating their food. That means usually nice meaty morsels dropped from careless forks.

drive ways are easy to clean with a bucket of soapy water.

much more unreasonable to puke on the carpet/rug. I suspect that you want to be unreasonable though.

My paw is sore from writing all these down. I brought up hairball on owner dd1 bed earlier, managed to splatter her favourite teddy too

Apart from that not much has occurred today. The owner is still not happy regarding the driveway incident, apparently her converse will never be the same?

Hey if you want to really cause mayhem do what I did last night, just as the smallest person is going to bed, hop on and wee, save it up so it's a big one and drenches their duvet, mattress and teddies. I had to run and hide afterwards but was amusing to hear all the uproar. My servants had to do three loads of washing and make up a camp bed and spent all today cleaning too, don't see what the issue is really, the sweet smell of my wee is amazing.

Not allowed in there today - bastards.

shocking bakerscat they should be thanking you for keeping the evil kitties away from the small ones bed. They don't appreciate you!

My brother and I each brought a dead mousie home for the female staff's birthday yesterday. They were entirely unappreciated. We left the heads on and everything. They were immediately confiscated by the male staff hand put in a bin. I am still fuming.

I have not covered up my morning poo in the litter tray as punishment.

and NOT hand . [Scowls at typist]

See this is why I have a dog

i never cover my poo - i meow at the top of my lungs til someone comes and cleans it up. I also have, on occasion, kicked said poo onto floor so i could do another one when they were not quick enough. I mean come on, they should be available 24/7 so at 4am they should definately have eben on the clock.

In a subtle actor guerrilla warfare I let rip a giant fart whilst "sleeping" in her bedroom chair this morning. The gentle breeze from the window blew it right into her face.

She went like this

Meanwhile downstairs, at my behest my stupid brother eviscerated a bird so that her dining room was lavishly festooned in feathers, legs and beak parts.

It have been a fine start to her day off.

TSScat1
Xxx

Puking on the driveway?

Pah. Amateur. You want to try puking in the middle of their bed.

Preferably while they're still in it. At 3am

From Stinklecat

PS, we also have a dog and have to pull random things he's eaten out of his arse. They're really no better

Amateurs.

Try swallowing a big thick blade of grass so it lodges between your nose and throat. Spend the next day or two alternating between being normal (keeps them on their toes) and croaky miaowing, retching and vomiting in fun places like your owners new work shoes.

Yes you need a GA in order to have it removed, but watching your owner pay that vet bill that just meets the excess on your insurance £111, so they can't claim a bean back is brilliant.

I'm sure all you wonderful felines have already seen this fabulous e.g. of feline mayhem already, but just in case you haven't, do have a look

You may get some fresh ideas.

The best thing to make your slave shriek is to kill a baby bunny. Then act happy to see the slave, run towards them while your claw is embedded in the bunny so it drags behind you
(Bleugh)

Some servants are never pleased. I found a pond in the neighbour's garden with some big shiny fish in it. I tried and tried til I worked out how to catch one, then I took it home and left it on the doorstep. I went back each night until I had emptied the pond. Were my servants pleased? No; they banged on about compensation...Shit in their shoes, I say.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell a fine chicken bone in the same place is even better than a blade of grass.

Days of mysterious nose-dripping poorliness culminating in a huge vet's bill for life-saving extraction and an everlasting feud with the idiotic neighbours who like to put the remains of their Sunday lunch out for the birds so I have a ready supply of victims to torture and kill when not scavenging leftovers.

A chicken bone is a step up.
The wtf-ness of "a blade of grass caused this, a massive nonetheless, but mere, blade of grass".
That human reaction and the vet bill, made it worth it.

Hang on, your neighbours put chicken carcasses out for the birds?. That's just sick. I felt a bit peaky watching a starling peck at a chicken drumstick outside of a Chicken Cottage recently. But to do it on purpose?! What are they thinking?

The best way to get their attention is to bring in a bird then eat the head, leaving the twitching body in the middle of the stairs, then once they are distracted with that puke in the pair of shoes closest to the front door, they are the pair most likely to be worn or if they look like they are in for the night wait until they are sleeping and puke bird head into their slippers.