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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this doesn't count as doing the washing?

37 replies

cheeseandfickle · 09/07/2014 14:22

DH does nothing around the house.

Occasionally he will gather up an enormous load of laundry, of any colour and fabric (ie my new white bravissimo bra in with a pair of black trousers on a 60 degree wash, that kind of thing), bung it in the washing machine and then just leave it, and leave it....

I then have to empty the washing machine, sort the washing, dry it, iron, and put away.

DH claims that he does loads of washing, and that I am being unreasonable because I have said that doing this does not count as doing the washing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheLovelyBoots · 09/07/2014 14:24

That obviously does not count as doing the washing.

ViviPru · 09/07/2014 14:24

YANBU. Any chump can chuck random garments in the machine.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2014 14:25

It counts as ruining the washing... Any clothes he is precious about? With DH it's nice shirts, just saying. He would be very unhappy if anything happened to them...

murphys · 09/07/2014 14:29

I have a solution... just do yours and the dc's and leave his. Then see how he manages with a pile of wet washing and none clean, dried, ironed and in the cupboard...

vanillavelvet · 09/07/2014 14:35

Pfft. That's nothing! My 'D'H still claims he doesn't know how to set a cycle on the washing machine. After 5 years of having this washing machine. I'm so fed up of ranting about it that I just do it all myself.

Hmmm, he's won, hasn't he?

Stinkle · 09/07/2014 14:36

YANBU

DH does do his fair share around the house so I'm not moaning at him, but he'll frequently claim he does the washing.

Er, no.

He puts stuff in the machine, he doesn't even switch it on, let alone take it out hang it out/put in the tumble drier, iron it and put it away

It's really not "doing the washing"

murphys · 09/07/2014 14:38

Ditto my solution to you Vanilla....

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2014 14:39

vanilla does your DH have a phone, a laptop, a PC? If so, he is a bullshit merchant because all of those are more complicated than a washing machine. White goods aren't inherently difficult. Just not fun.

dizzy101 · 09/07/2014 14:42

My dh had never done the washing, I had put a load in and told him to switch on and hang out when done.he phoned to tell me the New washing machine has a great spin on it and clothes nearly dry.
Yes, he hadn't switch on and actually hung out the still dirty clothes.

eltsihT · 09/07/2014 14:43

My dh doesn't do much round the house and if I was to expect him to do washing we would never have clean dry clothes. However if he wants something ironed he does it himself.

MangoBiscuit · 09/07/2014 14:51

No, of course that's not doing the washing, that's called being an Arthur here. Arthur Job. (Half a job, picked it up from another MNer ages ago!)

I second the murphys' suggestion. I only do mine, DDs', and the towels. DH has to do his own washing. When he slacks off from his share of the housework, I used to stop doing his washing so I could catch up on other things, but then he'd get stuck with no clothes, and no warning, and we'd both end up pissed off and resentful. So he does his own clothes, I have a little more spare time so can pick up the slack if needed, and if he pulls more than his weight, I have more time and tend to do a load of his.

I'd be looking to deal with more than just his shoddy laundry efforts, why doesn't he do anything else? Are you ok with that?

UncleT · 09/07/2014 14:54

YANBU. Doing the washing properly is very simple and absolutely not beyond the wit of any vaguely intelligent person - it just requires effort to do it properly! Laziness, pure and simple.

I second the plan to let him do his own washing and see how he copes - a good suggestion indeed.

cheerybear · 09/07/2014 14:59

Errr, I do my washing the same way your hubby does, OP

TheLovelyBoots · 09/07/2014 15:00

Presumably cheery you take it out to dry it?

BlackeyedSusan · 09/07/2014 15:00

my two year old was capable of doing that. in fact he was better as he at least made an attempt to drape the cllothes on the clothes horse. how does he feel at being outsmarted by a two year old boy?

doziedoozie · 09/07/2014 15:02

I would raid his drawers and get a load of his nicer stuff and stick it in at 90 and leave it. When he looks for it tell him you kindly washed it for him.

He is doing the 'if I make a crap job I won't get asked again' trick.

fluffyraggies · 09/07/2014 15:07

I'm so anal about the laundry i don't actually like anyone else doing it.

My question is: How hard can it be to put your dirty stuff in the right basket? Dark and light. Dark or light. Simple request, you'd think, for 5 people over 16 ...

and yet - no. Hmm

and don't get me started on bloody 'balls of sock'

vanillavelvet · 09/07/2014 15:18

Yes...yes, my DH is an intelligent man with a mobile phone, laptop etc. I absolutely know that he is more than capable of setting a cycle on the washing machine; he just has zero interest in doing it. I am going to put Murphy's plan into action Grin

AMumInScotland · 09/07/2014 15:21

Two suggestions -

  1. as other have said, don't wash anything of his, and don't do any part of it if he leaves it part-done.

Or 2. Make him responsible for it. Properly responsible. For all of it. Including paying for replacements when he ruins things. Do not touch another piece of laundry. He will work out how to do it properly, so long as he suffers from not doing it right.

Or, actually 3 - If not laundry, pick a suitable quantity of other chores around the house and make him completely and utterly responsible for those instead.

Any task which is partly his and partly yours is going to go the same way - with you picking up the slack because he is deliberately taking the piss.

ShadowFall · 09/07/2014 15:22

Of course that's not doing the washing.

Doing the washing isn't complete until the clean dry clothes are put away in the appropriate wardrobe / drawer.

UncleT · 09/07/2014 15:25

cheery in that case you're doing it all wrong. Mixing everything up and washing at 60, then failing to take it out the machine and hang it up to dry is...... well, completely wrong and a bit thick and very lazy really.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2014 15:32

Good for you vanilla. Make sure you do...

ChunkyPickle · 09/07/2014 15:40

DP does separate it out at least, and will transfer stuff to the tumble dryer... BUT despite my mentioning it a few times, he still doesn't use the delay start so that it'll finish at the right time to take out in the morning, instead he just sets it going and leaves the machine to beep in the middle of the night and make the clothes all crumpled when they aren't folded warm.

I've stopped folding his clothes because of it, and I noticed it did get through because he folded the last load. It's sheer laziness on his part - he's perfectly capable.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/07/2014 15:47

I have 5 categories that our washing can be sorted into (okay , I may be a tiny bit anal). Everyone except DH has grasped this system instantly. 4 months since it's introduction And DH is still putting the coloureds in the whites bin. Is he thick? Is he colourblind? Or is he just trying to drive me into a murderous frenzy?

Marcipex · 09/07/2014 15:54

When I was visiting my parents in the house they'd had for thirty years, my father asked me one day if I happened to know where the washing machine was.

So yours isn't the worst.

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