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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"What an interesting first thread OP", "Welcome to mumsnet"

62 replies

lalala2 · 09/07/2014 12:08

Why do people say this??

I change my name so much, many of my threads probably seem like "first threads" but they're not! I've been on here ages and I just hate the idea of people rifling through my past posts and using it against me in a current topic but it seems having no past posts is equally vilified?!

OP posts:
mercifulgibbon · 09/07/2014 12:10

I suppose it's because on the threads that look as though they were started for titillation reasons, it gives people a heads up that they might want to second guess sharing a private story for someone with no posting history.

goshdarnit · 09/07/2014 12:12

it often appears to me that you're damned if you do, and, you're damned if you don't in the wonderful world of Mumsnet...

also, there's too many troll hunters out there, who are far too suspicious to think that real life can be as bizarre as it sometimes is.

CulturalBear · 09/07/2014 12:12

lalala2 I keep expecting this OP as I have recently discovered the joy of namechanging. Not for any particularly salacious reasons but I've grown out of my first NN and, like you, don't really want to leave a huge footprint either.

scaevola · 09/07/2014 12:15

If you've been here ages, then you'll surely have seen the many threads about trolls and troll hunting, and remember (as it was really quite recrnt) when the sentence became such a cliche that it started being regularly deleted.

I'm not sure it's reported as consistently as it used to be, as the new troublesome posters don't seem to go in for using it so much. Perhaps that's a reflection of a changed demographic.

scaevola · 09/07/2014 12:17

(Sorry, realise my post may have sounded more aggressive than I intended. I was recapping what longstanding posters automatically know, for the benefit of readers (not specifically the OP) who haven't come across it much before).

WalkingThePlank · 09/07/2014 12:20

I think it its quite bullying to comment on whether someone is new. It's not welcoming at all and makes it seem that there is a heirarchy - tends to be the usual suspects saying it too.

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 12:22

I think it's intended to accuse the op of being a troll without being banned for it.

The standards of trolling have dropped recently.

Very disappointing really Grin

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 12:23

Can also be a heads up to the op that they are going to be flamed.

Yes it's patronising though.

gordyslovesheep · 09/07/2014 12:24

Because New people posting goady shite look trollish. It's not hard to sat 'NC'd for this' now is it?

usualsuspectt · 09/07/2014 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspectt · 09/07/2014 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scaevola · 09/07/2014 12:31

"And most of the threads it's used on are, in fact, troll threads."

So true. And trolls aren't welcome.

Namechangearoonie123 · 09/07/2014 12:34

It's just a way of giving everyone a heads up on a thread

It's not rude on genuine threads, it is an arched eyebrow on cock wanking threads/hairy truckers.

Tweasels · 09/07/2014 12:35

As far as I've seen it's only used in situations where it is obviously a troll. No one would get grief for being new or name changing. Obviously people might get it wrong but on the whole many of the more regular MN users are usually spot on.

MisForMumNotMaid · 09/07/2014 12:39

I like it when I see this, its a heads up. I'm not good at spotting troll threads and sometimes get sucked in. I'm slightly naive I guess in trying to give everyone fair chance and trying to find empathy with everyone.

Original poster
lalala2 · 09/07/2014 12:46

You're all a bit obsessed with trolls though?!

How on earth is it possible to KNOW someone's a troll and even if you do suspect they are, why bother comment at all? I would imagine it'd be very hurtful to have your real life issue painted as too unrealistic and bizarre to be real?
If it's against talk guilelines then why on earth try to wriggle around them by using different phrases?

Also, why should someone state that they've name changed or list off all their credentials "pom bears, penis beaker etc" just to be taken seriously?

OP posts:
SignYourName · 09/07/2014 12:48

I saw "Interesting first post, X" used on a thread yesterday directed at someone who wasn't even the OP, but who joined the thread halfway through and made a short comment at odds with the majority of replies to date. There was nothing whatsoever to indicate that 'X' was a troll; they just had a different opinion to the prevailing viewpoint.

AMumInScotland · 09/07/2014 12:50

Yeah it just flags up that maybe the reason they are posting something emotive or inflammatory might be that they have joined MN just in order to do that. And if that's so, then maybe their motives are questionable.

If you have a few posts already on non-controversial subjects, then it's not likely to happen.

But if you NC and then post about SAHMs beign lazy, why bottle-feeding is a form of child abuse, or for advice about your teen or pre-teen's sexual behaviour, then people might wonder...

drivenbyyou · 09/07/2014 12:50

I'm with you, OP. There are things that have happened to me and in my life that you couldn't make up. If I mentioned any of them, no-one would believe me (and it would make me very identifiable) so I'm useless at spotting trolls. I think what could happen to me could happen to anyone, so even the troll threads, when they're identified, don't sound too outrageous.

Do think it's sad that people take the time to make these things up though, and often wonder why they do.

mercifulgibbon · 09/07/2014 12:50

Because like this thread says, if you read it, people like a heads up if they aren't as good at spotting dodgy threads. You'd actually have a point if the threads it was written on didn't turn out to be trolls 99% of the time.

ouryve · 09/07/2014 12:52

It tends to happen in several situations:

OP is goady
OP seems far fetched and inconsistent
A quick google determines that OP is all over t'Internet spouting the same crap
OP is reminiscent of other "interesting first posts" in style and/or content
OP complains about what a shithole MN is.

scaevola · 09/07/2014 12:53

Whether it's MN or any other talk forum, it's unwise to barge in and post without lurking for a while and getting the lie of the land.

The current dominance of AIBU and the recent publicity about MN in general are both problematic. Anyone who has lurked should have realised that posting sensitive issues in AIBU is a Bad Idea, and that the best places to post for support are the topics.

Posting "for the traffic" is rarely a good idea.

AIBU has always had it's moments, but it has been consistently so much nastier recently. Anything that stops newbies with sensitive issues making the mistake of posting them in there is probably a good thing.

AMumInScotland · 09/07/2014 12:53

The 'obsession' comes from some very hurtful threads and posters who really sucked people in, and got a lot of already-raw people to share far more than they should. Often the people who get sucked into replying to trolls are those who can least afford to open themselves up in that way.

A polite comment that we should all remember that we're strangers on the internet and don't really know who the poster is, can help to remind people to not over-invest.

loopylady83 · 09/07/2014 12:56

im new to MN and im still trying to find out what a f##king troll is Grin

ouryve · 09/07/2014 12:57

trolls are all over the Internet, loopy.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29