Please help me!
I have 3 DC 16, 14 and 12. I am single and I work full time (I have a OH but he doesn't live here and is overseas a lot).
I expect my DC to fold any clean washing and put it away, keep their rooms tidy and load/empty the dishwasher.
For this they get weekly pocket money (same amount each). I am constantly nagging at them to do these things, they argue when they do them, have regular "stand offs" over things such an unloading the dishwasher (ie: if one of them isn't home everyone waiting for all 3 to be home before starting it) and this "system" is generally not working.
DS1 has a weekend job and DD has a paper round.
DS1 has just finished his GCSE's and every day I have asked him to do something extra for me (hoover the front room etc so not a massive job).
Today he chose not to go to a 6th form taster session but left the house at 9am to spend the day with friends. I came home and the dishwasher hasn't been touched and his room was disgusting. I texted him and asked him to come home immediately (it was 5pm) to which he got moody and grumpy. When he got in I told him there is no excuse for leaving the house to do sod all and leaving his room in that kind of state. He then said it wasn't "fair" that DD is allowed hoke from cooking club at 6pm when her room is a state 
.
I am sick of them all wanting to do "equal" amounts (this is impossible) and not wanting to do more than their share then getting moody and grumpy with each other while performing each "task". I am sick of nagging at them and being told they have to do "everything".
What do others do? What rules/rewards do others have in regard to children of different ages and with different commitments (both DSs have no hobbies whereas DD goes to loads of after school clubs, volunteers etc).
Please help me maintain some sanity....