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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that he should not be working with people who have disabilities?

62 replies

MilkandCereal · 08/07/2014 14:07

I don't think I am being unreasonable,but I need to vent/rant anyway.

I volunteer,and I met another volunteer this morning at a meeting, who works with people who have PMLD(Profound and multiple learning disabilities). He's volunteering for the charity to gain some work experience in organising events.

We were discussing events that the charity runs,at break,and he said that he doesn't see the point in taking 'them' that is people with learning disabilities,on outings,as it's just a waste of time and money,and that they get nothing out of it. He said the same of the clients he looks after at a carehomes, that he hates taking them out,says its like a circus parade,and feels that they're better off in their roomsc He went on a little on this theme. The other 2 volunteers who were present went out for a smoke break.

I was so taken aback that all I could say was everyone needs and deserves fresh air,new experiences,and interactions,and that he'd feel differently in their situation,or if it was a close family member.

I really don't feel someone with that attitude should be working with people with disabilities,or volunteering with them. Can I express my concerns to the volunteer coordinator re him volunteering,or should I say nothing?

OP posts:
MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/07/2014 19:35

Report report report, and do not let this be swept aside or minimised.

He obviously thinks its fine to have these views or he wouldn't be sharing them with others.

If someone genuinely believes that certain type of people are freaks and it doesn't matter what they experienced... How do you think he will treat them? Where is his line?

Abuse of disabled people isn't a rare thing. It's all too frequent, so I wouldn't be thinking 'oh he's probably not that bad'.

Nomama · 08/07/2014 19:46

Report him. In my previous career I dismissed a paid employee for similar comments. He made our clients fucking miserable. Even the most uncommunicative of them picked up on his nasty negativity and became noticeably brighter when he left.

Such people need to be kept as far away from 'the freaks' as possible. Once someone feels it is OK to say such things out loud they are beyond saving.

Give the manager the opportunity to get rid of him, now!

YouTheCat · 08/07/2014 19:54

Definitely report.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near my ds.

annielouise · 08/07/2014 19:59

You must report. He shouldn't be volunteering in that position.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/07/2014 22:08

I don't have learning difficulties but am now substantially physically disabled, and am vulnerable to people like this man. 'carers', volunteers and various services... It's terrifying.

I'm a grown adult with a degree and a professional job... Yet I've been forced to have people in my own home, neglecting and abusing me. It's terrifying, and soul destroying. And it's a constant worry. I've escaped from the worst abuses, but this weekend I found out someone's been stealing from me again.

So imagine if someone didn't have the cognitive ability to understand what's happening or how to raise the alarm. it's awful.

It's everyone's job to be aware of people like him, and protect those who can't protect themselves. It's when people turn a blind eye, or pretend its not happening, that the real damage is allowed to happen.

I'm very glad you are worried and hipefully will do something, now this man has told you who he is.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/07/2014 22:11

miscellaneous Sad,how awful.

MyFabulousBoys · 08/07/2014 22:41

Oh please report. He is using this role to further his career and standing but showing vile attitudes and disrespect. Please stand up for these people and their loved ones who trust that the carers are kind and not abusive.

manicinsomniac · 08/07/2014 22:44

I wouldn't report.

But I would say something along the lines of, 'your opinions are both wrong and disgusting. If you ever say anything on those lines to me again or if I see any hint of your thoughts coming across in your treatment of or attitude to your service users then I will report you.'

I don't report without giving prior warning or seeing evidence of harm.

SpiffingGalore · 08/07/2014 22:47

Please

SpiffingGalore · 08/07/2014 22:48

Please please report this man. My sister has PpMLD and I would be appalled if someone with that attitude were anywhere near her Sad

MilkandCereal · 08/07/2014 23:01

I have reported my concerns. What the volunteer coordinator will do with that I've no idea,but we'll see. If he was just going to be based in the office it,the situation,wouldn't be so worrisome,though his attitude would be equally so,but he will be interacting closely with clients/service users who work with the charity.

How can he appropriately support them,or advocate for their welfare if he thinks of them as less than human?

Besides,selfishly,I don't want to volunteer alongside someone with such attitudes. I don't want to listen to that.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 08/07/2014 23:03

How can he say that??! I have often seen people as you describe above on outings. Most of those whose noises/movements I could understand seemed always to be enjoying themselves. They deserve outings as much as the rest of us do. He finds it too much rouble or gets embarrassed when out with them I guess. He is volunteering in the wrong place. Nob end.

SquigglySquid · 09/07/2014 03:16

Yes. Report it.

There are other organizations he can volunteer at to organize events that don't involve working with vulnerable people.

macdoodle · 09/07/2014 07:06

How horrible, he doesn't see the people he is supposed to be helping as "people" does he? How on eartt cab he interact meaningfully with them never mind safely. Well done for reporting.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/07/2014 08:36

How can he appropriately support them,or advocate for their welfare if he thinks of them as less than human?

How indeed? And VERY well done for mentioning it to your supervisor

Mrsjayy · 09/07/2014 10:06

He sounds a dick report him he is looking for something that looks caring and worthy for his cv those are just the worst yanbu, I reported a woman for being patronising and down right nasty about the people we work with I had a wobble about reporting it had a thread and was reassured but this lovely lot I did the right thing, tell somebody

Mrsjayy · 09/07/2014 10:09

Good for you, I didnt read on

hazeyjane · 09/07/2014 10:10

Well done for reporting.

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 10:17

What a cunt. Report him. Once carers cease to empathise with their venerable clients they easily cross the line to rough speech/actions/abuse.

Horrible man.

Firsttimer7259 · 09/07/2014 10:18

My dd is disabled and I beg you to let a supervisor know about this. People like her are so vulnerable and open to abuse and bad treatment from people who think her life and comfort isn't worth care attention and respect. I can feel my heart racing at the thought of her being looked after like this

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 10:18

Oh see you have good for you op.

ScouseBird8364 · 09/07/2014 10:19

Ooh, I'd complain to one of the superior's, he should NOT be working in this environment and obvs has no passion to be there anyway Shock

Mrsjayy · 09/07/2014 10:20

Thats the negative side of volunteer work I think folk see it as a way to get on have a nice cv or whatever and dont give a fig about the organisation or people in it

Firsttimer7259 · 09/07/2014 10:21

If the volunteer co ordinator does resolve this please go further up the chain , just please stop him

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 09/07/2014 10:35

Mrsjayy totally agree with that.

My oldest ds was told he had to volunteer to recieve benefit, he's waiting to join the forces, a job centre staff member told him volunteering with the disabled and mental people would look good in his CV.

He was appalled. It seemed to be equated with shelf stacking in ASDA.