To think that if you buy a child a gift you can't then ask for it back a few years later . .

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Hi all my DH has a DD (4) from a previous relationship. He ended the relationship after finding out that his ex had cheated on him. His ex (and some members of her family) are still somewhat bitter that he ended the relationship.

Anyway DSD's auntie bought her a rocker whilst DH and his ex were still together about 4 years ago. It's a very much loved toy and well used by DSD.

Anyway DH said that DSD's auntie wants it back as she bought DSD it and she wants it for her son (its pink with flowers on. Most definitely a girly toy). Her son is 5 months old an there is no way he would be able to use it yet as I can't help thinking that this is just DHs ex and her family being a bunch of infantile twats but at poor DSDs expense.

Of course when we took the rocker to her aunties we were the worst people in the world for taking her favourite toy away from her. My heart broke for her because she really does use it a lot.

DH and I have an 11 MO daughter together and I can quite imagine there would've been comments such as 'well I bought Rebecca that (name change) there's no way I want her kid using it.'

I feel as though they are just trying to nitpick at things to be awkward. His ex has also asked for a lot of things back like the bottle steriliser, fire guard and baby bath which she went out an bought but with DHs card.

Poor DSD

Is it annoying you 5foot5? I like to get oter people's perspectives to make sure that I'm not the one being unreasonable.

If I have o fight his corner for him then I will

Rounded I just feel annoyed on your behalf. It seems that you are having to put up with alot and make sacrifices because your DH is too timid to rock the boat. Ever. Unforunately if you do fight his corner then the ex and her family will then more than likely take it that you are the one causing trouble. Better by far if he could fight his own corner but I admit I don't know how you will make him do that.

YANBU BTW

did they ask or tell? I.e. did auntie say "if you are done with it, do you mind giving it back?" that's reasonable. Otherwise not. Especially if you told her that DSD still uses it.

I would have said we are keeping it, but I'll buy you a new one if you want. it's DSD's now.

I would have given it back but because I wouldn't want it anymore rather than because I thought I should IYSWIM I wouldn't want to be dragged into any game playing.

I would buy DSD something lovely to replace it.

Why on earth did you give it back! I would have told Auntie no, it's a gift you bought dd and she uses it a lot. Is she so tight she can't get her nephew a rocker

I agree bitter, whose feelings come first, tge Aunties or his dd, certainly not his flesh and blood.

DSDs auntie didn't ask us directly. DSDs mother asked on behalf. Well she said 'Beth (name change) wants that rocker back for her baby as she bought Rebecca it.'

I love my husband but letting his ex rule our lives is driving a wedge between us, I'm pretty sure that's what she wants to be honest.

She's tried every dirty trick in the book to get her own way both before they split up and now.

DH thinks that the animosity between himself and DSDs mother will cause more harm than having a toy taken off her. I've told him that its not the toy per se its more what it represents and that she will most probably remember this episode for years to come.

The toy itself wasnt in great shape. Still safe and very much usable but the stuffing was coming out a bit and one of the squeakers had come off. It's also a bit mucky use to us having a wood burner which hears the house so there's a lot of dust about. It's pathetic really and I wouldn't be bothered if it didn't have to involve DSD

I can't believe you both just gave it back. That's worse than the original request.

Roundedbuttocks90 - give no reaction to these people. Practise your best poker face. I know it's annoying because it has upset a child but these people are just trying to wind you & your DH up. Take your DSD & let her choose a replacement, turn it into a pleasant memory for her.

I would have inflicted a bit more "wear & tear" on the rocker before I gave it back.

You mentioned it driving a wedge between you & your DH - don't let that happen, that is exactly what they want.

It wasn't yours to give back was it?

I would have said, no you cant have it back , dsd is still using it and will be passing it onto her baby sister when shes finished with it, thankyou very much.
after all they would only be able to moan about it amongst themselves, because how ridiculous would they look moaning about it to someone not involved, they sound like they are probably ripping you to shreds anyway, let them get on with it.
can you imagine her AIBU thread "my 6 yr old dn wont give the toy back that I bought for her even though I want it back for my own son, and so new half sister cant use it AIBU?"

some people! it beggars belief!

holdthepage that's exactly what DH has done and I think you are right about taking her to get a nice replacement.

We've had so much crap off them, most of it emotional but I didn't think they would sink as low as inflicting it on a little girl. No wonder she acts up so much