Bit of a sensitive one .....

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

My DD (12) came home from school today and explained that her friend disclosed emotional abuse by her step father. This has been ongoing since January: she has been very tearful, is scared to go home because of him, has self harmed with a knife (dd saw these marks) and has taken paracetamol and ibuprofen: I don't know if this is a regular thing or a one off big dose. So so sad.

My daughter went straight to her form tutor who asked her to put it in writing and submit to the head of lower school, which she has done. Now I am hoping that school will fulfill their professional duty of care and refer to social services but my dilemma is whether I should refer too? Should I discuss with the school first or just do it? I am so worried about her.

Do it. And how wonderful is your daughter? She's probably saved this girl from a life of misery!

1. The damn word is HEARSAY. It's a legal construction which exists to prevent people being convicted on the basis of gossip (and even then there are exceptions) and not a general principle which should deter people from reporting or investigating.

1. Can't believe people are saying don't step on the school's toes. Stepping on the school's toes would be sending in the lesson plans you want your child's class to be taught by. Reporting abuse is an obligation everyone should have. Seeing this as stepping on the school's toes perpetuates the kind of institutional deference which allows for shoddy or negligent care and institution based abuse. It is wrong.

Note that I am not saying that the school are shoddy or abusive in anyway. They may well have done everything they should. It is the blind assumption that this will be the case which is concerning here, and indicative of an attitude which when applied to institutions in general has had terrible consequences.