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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to faint at my bank statement showing £200 gone on in app purchases?

83 replies

NickiFury · 07/07/2014 17:39

DD age 7, don't know how, has managed to get my password and turn on in app purchases and has been purchasing with abandon tokens and jewels in Nemo's Reef and Minion Rush games.

Shock Shock Shock

She has only been doing it for three days, thank goodness or who knows how much she would have spent.

Fortunately I have been on to Apple who are refunding all the charges (thank goodness, am lone parent and every penny counts).

Just to warn you all to be aware, I did everything right, set up all security settings, thought my password was secret etc, restricted I Pad use and she was still able to do it.

Thing is she has ASD and I know she wouldn't have done it in an underhand way, just would have thought she was really clever to manage to do it.

Be Careful!!!!!

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 11:52

Unfortunately UncleT, the OP seems to not want to take any responsibility for what happened and when faced with the truth that it was her own incompetence which resulted in this bill, she simply becomes hostile.

maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 11:54

Let me put it this way, I didn't download the CBeebies app for me. grin Or any of the other maths games I've got on there.

Radical concept for you (which I'd thought mumsnetters would have had a better grasp of if I'm honest)..... supervision!

TillyTellTale · 08/07/2014 11:55

man your idea of taking responsibility seems to be banning children from using tablets, though. Not a form of responsibility I'd want to take, either.

Tablets are miles better than the old Speak & Spells and VTech maths games!

Aliama · 08/07/2014 12:01

Wow, where would us women be without men to tell us where we're going wrong, eh?

manina, I'm curious to know whether you have a child with autism? If you don't, then just perhaps you don't really understand the reasons why a parent of a child with autism might allow said child access to a device like an Ipad. Not saying the OP allows it for that reason, but many parents in that position do to enable communication, etc.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:02

uncle it added precisely nothing to the discussion though did it? Had already all been said so was for your benefit only really, just the opportunity to air your views. Thanks for that.

Man I remain bored by your input because you're not actually addressing any of the points made in my post about my dc having ASD. Your issues were with children having access to that kind of technology full stop, you've said that repeatedly on this thread so that is what I addressed, you'd not actually mentioned the £200 up until your last post so not sure why you're bringing it up now, because it's not actually relevant to the points YOU were making.

Oh and to clarify I take full responsibility for this situation, just in case you had misunderstood, which you seem to have done.

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:02

Fine, but how did a 7 year old get a password that is linked to a bank account? How did the 7 year old then go on to use the password?

The only possible explaination was that the password holder was incompetent in that she allowed another person (a child at that) to gain access to the password , and then compounded this by allowing the child enough unsupervised time to actually make use of the password.

If you left your credit cards / passwords on the desk in front of your computer and the internet banking page up, would you seriously expect your bank to protect you when someone logs in and take money from your account? No you wouldn't!
The OP was very lucky that Apple were so generous on this occasion, hopefully she has learned a lesson but I am a little perplexed as to why she seems not to want to accept that this was in any way her fault.

The only people on here who have dared criticise her (myself and 'UncleT') have been rounded on my the rest of you when all we have done is point out the obvious.

You need to get over yourselves and accept that the OP was at fault here! The child is 7 years old, too young to have unsupervised access to tech / passwords / credit card ffs!!

Sparklypants · 08/07/2014 12:03

ICanSeeTheSun my nearly 3 yr old DS does this too. I realised that if you have previously installed an app and then deleted, it it can be re-installed without needing a password.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:03

Aliama that is the main reason yes, but man doesn't seem to want to address that for some reason.

OP posts:
Thomyorke · 08/07/2014 12:03

My Ds2 speaks through his ipad. He finds the symbol ( apple, drink etc) all very basic but for a non verbal child with autism it has opened a form of communication that gives him independence. Used right they are amazing, my DD learned to play the keyboard ( could already read music).

maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:06

Wow, where would us women be without men to tell us where we're going wrong, eh?

Wow, double standards operating here... if I made a similar comment about women (which I would not because I don't believe gender has any relevance in today's society - bar the obvious physical differences), you would be screaming all sorts of obscenities at me so WHY is it okay for you to bring gender into this???

You sexist pig!

maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:07

Surely the autism is irrelevant? If you were supervising properly you could stop the child entering the password and spending your money... .point addressed.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:09

How indeed? That's the thing isn't it. I followed all the rules, I felt that I did "everything right". It appears though that dd absorbed the password over a period of time (and believe me it wasn't an easy one) and just used it when asked for it. At no point have I tried to shift the blame elsewhere and I am not hostile because I have been called on it at all, I already knew, I posted the thread! I am irritated by your solution of a blanket ban on technology for all children without taking into consideration where it might be a necessity. The fact that you refuse to address the valid points being made in that regard leads me to assume you must be rather limited in your thinking processes so unable to take your opinion that seriously. I hope that explains my supposed "hostility" Smile

OP posts:
NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:10

But man THAT was not the point you were making. You named the very access to technology by a child as the issue here.

OP posts:
Sparklypants · 08/07/2014 12:11

One thing to be careful of is once the password has been entered it stays 'open' for something like 15 mins, So that means that loads of things can be purchased in that time without the need to re enter the password. When I want to purchase an app I put my card details in and I then unlink the card. It takes a couple of minutes longer but it means that there can't be any accidental purchases!

Btw, my DS plays on my ipad and it has been amazing. He's not quite 3 and he can recognise and write uppercase and lower case alphabet. He can count up to 100 and write simple words all on his own.

Yes I've been doing these things with him but the ipad educational apps have played a large part in this.

I completed agree that to not allow kids to use/have technology would be doing them a disservice.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/07/2014 12:12

I don't see the point in giving a child an Ipad - but not because they should not use technology - just because I hate apple products Wink - we use android based pads and have several for the children to use. They are all properly set up so they cannot use in app purchasing and only child friendly websites can be accessed. They are all supervised and taught internet safety. I have heard enough scare stories in the media to be pretty paranoid about children accessing app purchasing/ credit card details so we do our best. Accidents happen though even with the best of intentions.

No my kids aren't allowed to touch my kindle - that is why we got additional tablets to avoid such issues.

maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:14

Perhaps I should have been clearer and said UNSUPERVISED access to technology.

It doesn't excuse your rudeness. I believe your very first reply to me, you set the tone by telling me to 'Bore off', rather than responding in a manner which may open up a civil debate which may be helpful to others.

As I said, you are entitled to disagree with me but there is no need to descend into rudeness and (most shockingly on a female dominated site) sexism! All this because you cannot handle a bit of criticism.

MilkandCereal · 08/07/2014 12:14

You can change that,Sparklypants,so that you have to enter the password for every purchase. I have my Ipad mini set like that,and I'm the only one who uses it.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:17

Sexism? Where exactly have I been sexist? Confused

I am afraid I don't agree that I was rude, I found your response unhelpful (and yes, tedious) and said so. That's all.

OP posts:
TillyTellTale · 08/07/2014 12:20

maninawomansworld Actually, UncleT just pointed out that the OP's turn of phrase wasn't literally true. I don't think think the OP was labouring under the misapprehension that her DD was handed the password by Santa Claus.

Being pedantic about language, when it is quite clear from context that the OP meant "I did all the techy things you're told are sufficient, but actually they're obviously not enough" is unhelpful. The OP is just trying to warn other people, and she's being repeatedly prodded over 4 words out of a 143-word post!

And you started off by saying that children shouldn't be allowed to use tablets. You're just switching it to supervision now, because you've realised your original point was a bit lacking in... sharpness, shall we say?

Aliama · 08/07/2014 12:28

I believe I'm the sexist one, NickiFury! And man, you're absolutely right. I should have said 'the men on this thread', rather than men in general (although that's implied). But as for sexism, are you aware that women spend most of their lives being told how to think and act by men, and how they are wrong in every single way, and how if they'd just do this instead, blah blah blah.

The OP clearly stated that her child has ASD, and instead of sit back and wonder if perhaps there was an underlying issue that you didn't understand, you jumped in to tell her that she was wrong to let the child use the Ipad at all.

But you haven't answered my question. Do you have a child with autism?

maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:31

Sexism? Where exactly have I been sexist?
That was Aliama, further up this page.

Your response to me was unnecessarily rude, you specifically told me to 'bore off' and your general tone was rude and hostile. Your later assertion that I must be 'rather limited in thinking processes' was also unnecessarily personal and offensive.

I have not been rude to you at any point, I have given an opinion that you do not agree with and that's fine, you are within your rights to disagree.
However, you solicited the giving of this opinion by starting this thread so you are out of line becoming insulting and hostile just because you do not agree with me.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:38

I do not agree that I have been insulting or hostile. I found your response unhelpful which was then followed by ignorance and refusal to address the points being made. I guess we are just going to agree to disagree on whether I was rude or not. It would probably be helpful too, if I just ignore all further input on this thread from you and then there will be no room for confusion will there?

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:39

I should have said 'the men on this thread', rather than men in general (although that's implied)

As the main care giver for our DC, I come across this all the time - the 'you're a man what do you know' attitude of many mums. Yes historically women have been discriminated against but what gives you the right to discriminate against me?
Also, many of the usernames do not give the posters gender away, so how do you know that all the men on this thread are 'telling you where you're going wrong'?

But you haven't answered my question. Do you have a child with autism?

No I don't but autism or not, I would not allow my children unfettered, unsupervised access to my tech / passwords / credit cards. The autism in this thread is not relevant, plenty of children with or without special needs do this sort of thing all the time.

NickiFury · 08/07/2014 12:41

Oh and I think that the only one doing any name calling here is YOU Man. Massively rude IMO.

"You sexist pig!" Shock

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 08/07/2014 12:44

gives hello
Strikethrough:
Oh and I think that the only one doing any name calling here is YOU Man. Massively rude IMO.

You sexist pig!^

It was said tongue in cheek because that is the response I would have received from you lot if I had gone anywhere near the issue of gender.
Why it is okay for her to be sexist towards me both puzzles and offends me. If she cares at all about equality between the sexes then I believe an apology is in order, though I won't hold my breath!!

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