To be fed up with friends and drinking around DCs

[tiredandemotionless]

At the risk of seeming like a killjoy, I'm gritting increasingly at get togethers with friends being full on drinking sessions, we all have primary or pre school DCs and whenever there is an opportunity to spend time together with children it's wine o'clock.

I see pics uploaded on social media of other friends necking prosecco with school mum mates on play dates, the DCs school summer BBQ (attended by parents and pupils) is a right old piss up.

I like a drink, certainly not anti alcohol, but Christ , surely we are storing up issues aplenty for kids by normalising excessive drinking (yes, us parents)?

Or is it just me...?

The problem lies usually with the fact there is always one who goes over board.
This is not my experience.

I like a drink.

I wouldn't call a playdate an 'event' though. And most bbqs are just outside food, not massive celebrations.

There is nothing wrong with a couple of glasses of wine but when you start reaching for that second bottle at lunchtime, maybe it's time to curb it a bit?

I encountered this with one of dd's friend's mothers a long time ago. She was already 2 thirds of the way down a bottle and wanted me to join in. I had one glass. She hopped in her car and went to buy more wine. When she came back, I made my excuses and left.

I'm a total killjoy and I don't care. She was slurring and wanted dd to stay over - now way was that going to happen.

UncleT Play dates?? Ah, I guess you mean what used to be known as 'going to play with a friend'. Enough with the American crap already.

That's a very American turn of phrase!

Whenever I get together with my friends for a party/BBQ (and yes, they're usually daytime events because of childcare), alcohol is always served. No one ever gets hammered and everyone goes home by about 7pm.

We all had children in our mid/late 30s though. We weren't that sensible pre-kids

Another killjoy here. People drinking at Kids birthday parties is the worst imo. Can people really not celebrate their kid's birthdays without taking drugs?
I'm with you OP, regularly drinking too much in front of Kids normalises excessive drinking. The UK has the highest rate of binge drinking teenagers, it's not hard to see why.

YANBU
it is really not nice and can be quite scary for children to be surrounded by drunk grown ups
Also it gives them the message that you need alcohol to have a good time. You don't
I had an alcoholic parent and it was a very grim childhood. They and plenty of their friends would have seen their drinking as normal and not a problem. There's a lot of denial around alcohol ime and if you need to bring out wine when socialising with your children then something is up.

I don't see the big deal. My kids see me drink a couple of glasses of wine with dinner but they also see me put my hand over my glass and they see that I'm never 'talked in to drinking if I feel I don't want to, they also know / see that I am keeping count, drinking water, will choose wine OR beer not both, that I don't drive after even one drink, that I don't drink if I've got something important to do later, or, if I feel there has been too much socialising lately I will just cut it out altogether for a while.

I not in england though, and not english, maybe this would shock english children?

YANBU - imagine the hoo har if it was mums smoking weed?

sorry, no, i haven't had alcohol at a child's bd party since they were ONE. I sseem to remember that being a tradition, to have a bit of prosecco or champagne at the first bd parties, but not been offered drink at a child's party since then.

No I've never had an alcoholic drink at a friend's to play or a dc's party - only once been offered one. School events sell heavily watered down Pimms or Mulled Wine - I've never seen anyone remotely tipsy.

Wow. It wouldn't cross my mind to offer alcohol when my friends come round with their kids to play! And if I was offered, it would probably be a no for various reasons not least driving and I would have too much stuff to do after ( when that sleepy, thirsty stage has kicked in. Doesn't take much for me these days!)

I do have a glass of wine or two in front of my DCs (3 and 5) with a family meal on occasion so I'm not opposed to drinking in front of them but I don't feel 'off duty' till they're in bed regardless of whether other people are there.

TBH, I find it a sad state of affairs to think that people can't just enjoy the company they're with without alcohol, or put up with company they don't for at least a short while without alcohol whether there are children there or not.

I agree with the OP.

A glass or two of wine with lunch, at a picnic, etc. - fine. I love a glass or two as much as anyone else.

Full on drinking in front of children - not OK.

It's all a matter of context and degree.

What I find hardest is seeing children in pubs. I am not talking about a family lunch at a nice child friendly pub. I am talking about small children wondering around being ignored while their parents are having a full on drinking session - I have seen plenty of that around where I live.

What I find hardest is seeing children in pubs. I am not talking about a family lunch at a nice child friendly pub. I am talking about small children wondering around being ignored while their parents are having a full on drinking session - I have seen plenty of that around where I live

I'd agree with that. I've seen plenty of that too. Sat outside til god knows what time, ordering chips to get round the restrictions (ie- kids allowed in pub I they are eating, but not at the bar) til 9:00+ Hanging half asleep out the buggies.

I like to drink but would have more than 2-3 glasses with kids (spread over a few hours).

However, I am dubious about labelling Facebook pictures as "necking prosecco" - what's to say the photo wasn't of somebody sipping a single glass over the course of an afternoon?
I have been photographed many times with wineglass and baby but I can honestly say I have never once got pissed in the last year (since baby was born) and obviously not the nine months before that either.

All my mummy meet ups evolve around coffee and cake plus an activity/free play. Wine o'clock is evenings here but even then its restrained. Not seen anyone get blotto in front of the kids