To be fed up with friends and drinking around DCs

[tiredandemotionless]

At the risk of seeming like a killjoy, I'm gritting increasingly at get togethers with friends being full on drinking sessions, we all have primary or pre school DCs and whenever there is an opportunity to spend time together with children it's wine o'clock.

I see pics uploaded on social media of other friends necking prosecco with school mum mates on play dates, the DCs school summer BBQ (attended by parents and pupils) is a right old piss up.

I like a drink, certainly not anti alcohol, but Christ , surely we are storing up issues aplenty for kids by normalising excessive drinking (yes, us parents)?

Or is it just me...?

You'd call a bloody taxi!! Not an ambulance FFS!!

that's what I thinking

You can't live your life thinking "what if such or such happens". Of course accidents happen but the risk is small and some parents take that risk. I have.

I've been in pictures at BBQ's with wine in hand, and it's probably been one glass that's lasted me most of the afternoon. Or, I'm drinking and DP isn't.

There's getting utterly sloshed and drinking casually for 7 hours. I could drink all afternoon (pacing myself) and not be sloshed.

fails to mention Facebook event she's just created for dd's 3rd birthday inviting everyone for a birthday /garden party from 1pm till late with a 'bring your own booze' request

I'm with you, OP. Drinking has become a normalised everyday thing to do. If you think along these lines, you get accused of being a killjoy with a few 'ffs' thrown in to emphasise the point.

Exactly prettyreckless, I could easily enjoy a day and night event, pace myself, be a responsible adult and look after my dc. You just don't drink constantly. Maybe it's just how I've been brought up, you eat, you laugh, you have a few drinks, you have more food, you laugh more etc.

There's never been a time any of my friends or I have been drunk around our children, merry yes. Not drunk. We drink responsibly and have wonderful days with children, adults and all generations.

I think all the people who are saying yabu are the ones who recommend "more wine" for every problem raised on mn. Husband being an arse? Drink wine. Kids winding you up? Put them in bed and drink wine. Just drink wine. It's the answer to every mumsnet problem.

Getting pissed with your kids in tow is wrong, but having a couple of glasses of prosecco over lunch or a few glasses of wine at a BBQ is perfectly fine IMO.

Tbf, one of us is usually pregnant/driving/on antibiotics (pregnant) etc so there is always a completely sober adult there.

Why does the 'child/accident/can't drive to hospital' thing always get trotted out on these threads?

There are actually many parents who don't drive at all and they manage perfectly well in these situations.

I just think there needs to be a divide between kids party and an adult social gathering.

One is two hours and a few games and you are responsible for multiple children and really having a lot to drink has no place here at all.

At a social gathering drink what you like, just make sure that you get a baby sitter so your kids don't have to witness a bunch of grown ups getting slides and making a tit of themselves.

Unless of course you are one of those people who can have a glass and two and stop. But unless you know that he others attending are the same way I'd not have booze at a kids party at all tbh

Getting sloshed

Am I don't drive but I also don't get drunk at parties now I have children

Are you actually there or are you just seeing the photos on Facebook?
How do you know how much is being consumed?
I might start drinking at lunchtime with a BBQ, and still be drinking when the kids go to bed, but only have 2 or 3 glasses of alcohol.
Being sober enough to drive is a red herring. I don't drive so it would always have to be an ambulance, taxi or friend.

I do think that there is a problem when kids see the adults around them, getting drunk regularly, but it really depends on how often and how much alcohol is being drunk.

I don't know if you're being unreasonable or not. In a way I agree with you but on the other hand, you sound as if you're micromanaging - or would like to - the activities of others.

When I was a child (70s), you'd see an adult with a can of beer or shandy or whatever it was and think nothing of it. I'd sit there with my Lilt and would never have been the slightest bit tempted or interested in the beer.

Ditto wine - if we went out to dinner as a group of families, the adults would drink wine, kids would drink soft stuff or water. Never a mix and never a problem.

I will say that I never, ever saw a drunk adult as a child so I'm guessing that the adults - sensibly - kept any lairy behaviour for when we were safely tucked in bed. Are you saying that adults now don't modify their behaviour, being loud and boorish? If so, that is the problem, not the exposure to alcohol.

Get more moderated friends rather than trying to adjust the ones you have.

Giles. Have you never been to a bbq, with all generations, where people drink but don't get paralytic? I do, weekly at the moment. Maybe I live in a parallel universe but we all seem to manage it here. I wouldn't have a piss up at a kids 2hour party but a bbq/party at home situation there will be alcohol and we all seem to manage to look after our children.

YANBU.... it's disgusting to me personally.

I have 3 dds a healthy attitude towards alcohol as did my parents,however I wont touch a single drop if my dcs are with me. Even when I do drink I stop before I've had enough for a hangover, why should kids be sidelined the next day because some people go mental the night before.

I am not talking some who have a glass or two that's perfectly excptable (even though I wouldn't) I see far to many children who witness their parents being utter piss heads and it's not nice imo.

I disagree that kids party and social gathering needs to be separate.

I have friends and family all over the place, if we're throwing our dd a 3rd birthday party this summer, they'd be pissed off if they come over for 2/3 hours and be sent on their way.

It's an opportunity for all of us to be together.

No one gets rat arsed but in wouldn't be offended if they did. Kids are kids, there's tons of them playing together and enjoying themselves. They barely give two hoots what the adults are doing IMO.

This must be new our school things served tea and watered down squash, I do think that a drinking culture is accepted in this country a cheeky bottle of fizz with the girls a pimms in the summer is a must swap the prosseco in the garden to a bottle of cider on a door step peples attitudes change ime op yanbu and I like a drink

Yes. It would be very unusual for me to have friends over for a Saturday or Sunday lunch and not serve alcohol (unprecedented?) but equally, it would be memorable if someone were drunk.

A lot of people don't drive and would rely upon an ambulance if something "serious" happened to their child. This "serious" thing normally doesn't come to pass.

what happens to some people once they have children they become so holier than thou

really only socialising with friends if you have a babysitter, what if their children are friends with your children should you not enjoy yourself too

and yes for myself and many I know a nice way to relax is a glass or wine or a g&t sometimes shock horror more than one glass

I stopped going to a lot of these things tbh. I always ended up watching other people's kids while they were drinking.

Last bbq I went to people did stay sober which made a nice change, I'd forgotten what that was like

Don't get me wrong, I used to get as pussed as the next person but not around kids and certainly now, although I so drink I'm
Never in a state (even if they aren't home) where I'm not fully with it. I don't need to in order to enjoy myself.

I guess it depends on the people your with though, some just can't stop and start before you even arrive and are still going after you leave.

I know a few parent of young kids who get pissed at picnics in the park and have had to contact somebody to pick up their children it was a hoot apparently,

YANBU.
Wine O Clock for EVERY little problem trotted out as a solution.
I have 2 friends who practically go on a bender every Friday lunchtime with loads of jokey crap on Facebook tagging their respective DHs saying "you"ll have to swing by and get the girls, I'm wrecked". Followed by pictures of a pile of empties.

Another friend says "looking forward to getting on it" everytime she has a meeting with another mum ad the kids.
I literally cringe at both of them.

Do you know, I was a kid in the early 70s. If you don't think my parents and their friends weren't drinking (and driving!) when their kids were around, you'd be wrong.

I still know all those families now. How many of the kids have alcohol problems? None. So no, I disagree that we're storing up enormous problems.

Sometimes I drink when I go to parties with my kids, sometimes not. I never get drunk enough to be paralytic or so that I'm incapable of caring enough for them the next day though. There's quite a broad continuum between not touching a drop and being comatose

I don't know anyone who would rely on an ambulance for a non serious issue, rather than a taxi.

I don't either, Worra, perhaps 'the gimmers' just instinctively know that ambulances are not taxis and we can tell the difference between the two. How do some people manage to get to the age they are and be so flipping helpless?

Ok fine you can get a taxi in an emergency but I would feel so embarrassed turning up to the hospital with ds drunk.