To serve guests instant coffee

[Drinkingpimmsinmygarden]

DH and I aren't really coffee drinkers (prefer tea)so we just have a jar of instant coffee such as Nescafé. No real ground coffee.

Are we being unreasonable not to have 'proper' coffee in for guests?

Well one poster has commented Do people freshly squeeze oranges for a glass of juice and serve tea leaves rather than a bag?

So clearly if I was in her house I'd be getting a tea bag.

I'm really surprised so many people just use instant and think using a cafetiere is a hassle.

I do think that some people have more sohpisticated tastebuds than others.
I should imagine it cuts across to other foodstuffs as well.

I also do think that it is nice that for those that do, and dont necessarily have the income to match, that a person can at least drink good quality coffee.

Which, now I have written that, may partly explain the huge rise in coffee shops everywhere.

And signyourname you've read an awful lot which isn't there in to what I posted.

4 minutes is now thought to be far too long to wait for a cafetiere, the coffee becomes bitter if left that long. 1-2 minutes is the time recommended and nearer the 1 minute best, which is just as well as that's what I've always done as I'm impatient.
Generally by the time I've found the mugs and milk the cafetiere is ready to plunge.
Making tea takes longer for me as I like it after 3-5 minutes.

Phaedra, I quoted you! How can I be reading into something that "isn't there" when I quoted your own words?

Signyourname you made the following assumption
you allow your preference to overrule your manners and risk making your host/ess feel bad or inadequate by refusing to choke down a cup of something which you personally wouldn't choose and don't particularly like but which won't kill you, when it is given to you in good faith and hospitality.

That is a huge and unwarranted assumption from my saying I prefer ground coffee and loose tea.

And as you can see from Billy's post she for example thinks loose tea is as outrageous as ground coffee.

I didn't know that 2rebecca. I will remember that next time I make a cafetiere up.

That was a general observation based on my views of what constitutes a rude snob v a polite guest and on responses throughout this thread - it was not aimed at or about you in particular (or I would have used your name in my reply).

Since you tell them it is instant before offering it, I think it is fine. You could buy a small french press, or a drip carafe, they are cheap, and make actual coffee for guests who enjoy a coffee.

This thread makes me think of Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory and his observation when trying to make a friend that it was polite to offer a choice of hot beverage. Maybe in future I should ask if they would like a hot beverage and if so do they have a preference, although if they want instant coffee it's tough. I maybe have some Camp coffee that I use for flavouring cakes.
I don't entertain much though so generally know what my visitors drink.

I prefer rubbish tea to rubbish coffee so at people's houses I ask for tea. I allow myself my tea and coffee snobbery as my only vice as a guest though, and I do bring my own (and share it) if I'm staying somewhere where they aren't as pathetically geeky about their hot drinks as I am.

YANBU, I think most people I know who love coffee drink something else happily rather than instant and if you don't drink it it isn't necessary to keep it in on the off chance.

Then, I regularly annoy visiting children by never having juice or squash in.

phaedra -how many cafetieres to you have? And how many cups a day?
Or rather my dishwasher goes on once a day ...I have at least 5 cups a day (have cut down ....dishwasher on 5 times a day - or use the cafetiere just scraped out...and scrapping out real coffee is messy ....and any grinds left must end up in your dishwasher filter -so that must need cleaning more often...
(agree knocking out an espresso machine filter is not so bad - but if you don't regularly clean the drip tray you get mould - and those machines take ages to get up to pressure/temp)
Also I like my coffee very strong with lots of cold milk - out and about I tend to have double espresso in a big cup, at home I tip the instant in - works out about 3 teaspoons....

As I am tolerant of ordinary teabags which presumably mitigates my coffee "snobbery" I am now wondering if I need to get any special teas in ... would get them for a friend, possibly not just for the cupboard though.

Interesting about 4 mins in the cafetiere being too long, will try shorter.

Lol, Sheldon :)

Signyourname I don't recall any one posting in the manner you've suggested. Did anyone say they would refuse to drink instant coffee (or for that matter tea bag tea made in a cup) if offered ?

You've extrapolated from people expressing preferences that they would behave that way.

unlucky at home 3 but I only make coffee at home at the weekend. At work I have a Bodum portable cafetiere and keep ground coffee in a tin.

At home around half a dozen teapots for loose tea and don't drink tea at work.

Yes Phaedra, some people have actually said if they were served instant they would leave it undrunk.

Apparently it is also acceptable to serve shop bought humous, but only if you apologise profusely in advance (otherwise your guest is entitled to stare at it uncomprehendingly before sweeping it onto the floor with a loud "NO, DON'T LIKE, NOT WANT, BLEEURGH").

What about water - is it considered ok to ask your host if water is only tap before accepting it?
Does this vary depending on whether you're in a hard water/soft water/tasty water area?

Someone asked if having a preference for a certain type of teabag made them a snob. I expressed my opinion of what constitutes a snob and what constitutes a rude guest. Here are some responses from this thread:

"I wouldn't be able to drink it."

"I'd pass and be disappointed you weren't serving normal proper coffee"

"I just don't drink fake coffee"

"...if you are going to offer coffee don't offer fake coffee and then act surprised when people can't drink it"

"Don't offer coffee and then watch it go to waste as I let 99% of the cup go cold"

So yes, it appears some people would, and do, refuse to drink instant coffee when offered.

It was probably me, re undrunk. I sip, but don't finish it. Sorry, but I find it unspeakably nasty, and I would never say anything but probably would try to get out of finishing it.

WTF re water? What's the analogy - are we real coffee drinkers supposed to reject tap water? And what's with the fantasy that we'll sweep stuff onto the floor wailing?

Get over it. Some people don't like instant coffee. It is a sufficiently different drink to real coffee for this to be entirely understandable. If you choose to see this as some kind of pseudo-aspirational elitism, you can, but frankly it's not worth expending your ire upon.

i keep thinking about the ?archdeacon in rev who pours the full cup of coffee down the sink before he leaves

Not being able to drink something is not the same as "refusing". A simple "is instant ok?" would enable the real coffee drinker to opt for something else. Much more polite than slamming down instant 1974 donkey piss

The niche tea drinkers are not being called snobs.

I don't drink anything when I visit people. Is that rude of me?

I don't drink anything when I visit people. Is that rude of me?

It wouldnt bother me personally but in some parts of the world it would be an awful insult to your host.

I don't refuse to drink it. I do leave it. Much as many of you would if you asked for, say, tea and got herbal tea or something.

There are plenty of MN-condoned behaviours which I find quite inexplicably rude. People who don't answer the phone, or sneer at everyone at the school gate, or think that 'No is a complete sentence'. I fail to see why not finishing the (occasional) cup of instant coffee is somehow on a par with those.