Moving in with inlaws

[Teddybeau1988]

Sorry this is not an aibu, more of a wwyd, I am posting here for traffic. We currently live in a 2 bed local housing association flat. We had our third DC in March resulting in us technically being overcrowded. That wait for u to be transferred will be at least 10yr +, by which time our eldest would have possibly flown the nest anyway. The private rent here is out of our price range, in an area of London that has unexpectedly become trendy. We could move in with DPs parents and try to save enough for a deposit, although its doubtful we would be given a mortgage. Part of me thinks I would be stupid to give up a secure lifetime tenancy but on the other hand the flats awful and on a rough estate that I do not want DC growing up on. Wwyd?

I'd stay put. Imagine if you move in with the in laws and it doesn't work out. You'll have lost a secure tenancy for nothing.

Depend on size of in laws house and whether they don't mind you moving in. The overcrowdedness wouldn't make me move but bringing my dc up in better area would.

Can you put your name down for a house swap? Round here 2 beds are like gold dust and go very quickly.

In laws have a 7 bed house, so plenty of room. They also work full time, MiL does shifts, so neither are home a lot. The estate is quite well known for being rough, no one local would choose to live here. I've been trawling the mutual exchange sites for years, not one person has asked for a viewing.

I'd stay put too (and be really careful with birth control ). Is there any way you can make more space in your flat

What are the sexes and ages of your DC? It would be easier if they are the same sex.

Stay put

Can you rejig flat, say put selves in the smaller bedroom (might need a petite double bed) then bunks plus a single bed in the bigger bedroom when the baby is old enough?

Or use living room as your bedroom with decent sofabed?

Also for people downsizing, they are given priority so get their pick of what's available. I don't stand a chance with my property being undesirable.

I get on really well with my in-laws, and yet I'd do everything I could to avoid having to live with them.

Stay put.

Keep the flat, it will likely become much more gentrified over the next ten years.

I love my inlaws, still wouldn't live with them.

And a cheap flat in London is gold.

No.

I mean, no, it's madness to move with the ILs.

Mmm a 7 bedroom'er That explains why you are considering it.
I guess it is a possibility but only after lots of thought and lots of discussion with everybody concerned. (Poss. Including your DH's siblings)
You would need to discuss (and maybe document) every possibility. What if they want to sell, what if someone loses their job. Etc etc etc.

DD1 is 9,DD2 is 5 and DS is 3months. The girls have bunk beds and room for not much else in their room and we have a small double and a cot bed in ours.

Our flat is so small it literally looks like an ikea mini show room flat.

Okay, I'll ask. Why did you have a third child if you live in a tiny two bed flat?
It's your choice, of course, I'm not judging, but you must have thought it would be okay?

I think it's sad the DC will grow up without having a garden, also we would be in a catchment area for a brilliant secondary school if we're at inlaws. But I would be really shooting myself in the foot as we would never get another HA tenancy, ever.

Do you want to stay in the same area? If it's getting trendy there you might have better luck with a swap in a couple of years.

If you can hold onto it I would as once you've given up your tenancy it'll be really hard to get back on the list.

DS was unplanned and totally unexpected. I had the coil and was on the pill for endometriosis. ( we can't even remember actually dtd the month he was concieved either.)

Do you get on with your inlaws?

Is it possible to completely have your own space in their house?

Could you move somewhere you could actually afford by changing jobs?

What would happen if the in laws lost their house? Or became unwell? Or just randomly decided it wasn't working? There are so many ways it could go tits up.

I get on well with them both, and we wouldn't be on top of each other.

I'm not sure of we're brave enough to up sticks and move away. Both our families are nearby and the girls are settled at school and clubs ect.

They own their home outright and run their own business. Both have a good pension for when they retire.

We moved in with ILs while between homes. Both working FT and before DCs. It was longest 3 months of my life and I would seriously choose a tent over repeating the experience.

Have they actually asked you to move in with them?

I would definitely do it especially given the size of the house. Is there an extra room downstairs where the kids could play and you could be separate from inlaws if you wanted to?