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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old helping out at local primary school

104 replies

pippiLS · 06/07/2014 14:24

AIBU to think that this is something my DD could do. She has finished school for the Summer and the local primary school doesn't finish for another few weeks.

I don't want to put the Head in an awkward position by asking if it is actually considered U. I can't think why it would be really.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 06/07/2014 14:26

Does your DD actually want to do this, or do you just need childcare?

PedlarsSpanner · 06/07/2014 14:28

Too young for employment

Insurance issues

She would need to be supervised so staffing issues for HT

Do you have childcare problems you are hoping to solve by stuffing her into this?

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2014 14:28

It's a nice idea but apart from being a bit of a headache for the staff supervision wise, many schools will already have the year 10 work experience pupils helping out, the week after next.

Goldmandra · 06/07/2014 14:29

Does your DD actually want to do this, or do you just need childcare?

Why would you need childcare for a 13YO (with the obvious exception of SN of course)? Confused

OP, why not talk to the head? They won't say yes unless it works for them. If this would count as work experience for a career she's decided she would like, make sure it's documented.

ilovesooty · 06/07/2014 14:29

I think YABU, sorry. Even if it were considered appropriate at her age, there would have to be a load of paperwork done, she would need an induction at a time of year when teachers are very busy, and I can't see why her presence would be of any real value to the school.

GretchenWiener · 06/07/2014 14:30

i dont think it is wise

Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 14:30

My DD started on day release from school, to do child care, she had to wait until she was 14.

It depends on what you think she could do, do you have younger children there and know they need volunteers?

You need a level of emotional maturity and willingness to do any type of Child/Care work, even of voluntary.

Having a volunteer in, makes work.

TheBloodManCometh · 06/07/2014 14:31

I imagine there are a lot of other things she would rather do then free labour at a local school.
Has she asked to do this? 13 is pretty young to be shipping her off for volunteering.

What do you imagine her actually doing at the primary school?

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2014 14:31

Goldmara, whilst I think the 'childcare' comments are harsh...seeing as though the OP hasn't even hinted at that, some 13yr olds do need supervision unfortunately.

I'm thinking about the boy around the corner to me who invited his friends round and was passed out drunk when his Mum came home from work.

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:32

If she's genuinely interested in working in this sort of area, and knows the staff/school (did she go there?) then I see no harm in asking. An extra pair of hands can be a real benefit, even if she's only tidying up. Hearing kids read is always a big help and our TAs regularly use their own kids as extra helpers when the INSET days etc do not coincide. Ex pupils often come back for WE in Y10 and are welcomed.

No harm in asking!

ICanSeeTheSun · 06/07/2014 14:33

How come your 13 year old has broken up already.

I would say it wouldn't be wise, 2 weeks left of the school year is a bit late and too much disruption for the school.

The CRB would take weeks to come back as well

GretchenWiener · 06/07/2014 14:33

you dont need a crb for a 13 year old!!!
How funny! Grin

it all depends if the staff CBA

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:36

I cant believe some of the comments on here. A load of paperwork to be done first? What use would she be? Hmm

As a former teacher, if an ex-pupil, mature and sensible and known to us, came and asked if they could help, they would be welcomed with open arms.

They can sit tidying pens and pencils, shredding stuff, sellotaping books back together, sticking work into the right folders. Schools are crying out for volunteers to hear kids read and assist in tidying the library etc - why does the fact she is 13 make it any less useful?

Goldmandra · 06/07/2014 14:36

I'm thinking about the boy around the corner to me who invited his friends round and was passed out drunk when his Mum came home from work.

Fair comment if that's really common 13YO behaviour. However, I imagine that, if someone started a thread asking if they were unreasonable to think 13 is too young to be left at home for the day, they would be toasted, if not flamed.

I don't understand why this would be someone's first thought though.

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:37

sorry but LOLOLOL at CRB for 13 yo ! Grin

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2014 14:38

I don't think it's common 13yr old behaviour (thank god).

I was just pointing out that some 13yr olds do need supervision even if there are no SN.

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:38

too much disruption for the school.
sorry, how is one 13yo going to cause too much disruption?

Hulababy · 06/07/2014 14:39

We currently have Y10 work experience students in school, so it may be difficult. We do have a particular member of office staff who deals with volunteering and we have specific dates and times they can do it. You can ask and see what they say though.

My 12y DD has volunteered at my school, but it was very specific work and obviously I was there to supervise. DD organised a range of e safety lessons for EYFS, Y1 and Y2 and taught the lessons to every class in school, having managed to organise some of her friends to help her with the actual lessons - so had 2 or 3 of them in each day.

DD did this on the extra week she has off near Easter - she is at an independent school so as extra holidays. It most definitely wasn't about childcare - she doesn't need childcare options now.

The fact that she had an organised plan and it was arranged a good while in advance helped (also as I am the computing leader at school and would be supervising). Infact the HT was so impressed she and her friends are invited back to do it next year too.

So - it is possible BUT:

  • ideally find a named contact within the school
  • has a plan of what SHE wants to do there, and why
  • ideally, organise in advance
HayDayQueen · 06/07/2014 14:39

Our Infant School has a policy of former students being able to write in and ask to come in and help if they want to.

So check with your headteacher and see what they think! Although I doubt they'd want her EVERY day.

Hulababy · 06/07/2014 14:41

A 13y would not need a CRB check as they wouldn't be allowed to work independently with children, with no adult supervision.

The main disruption to the school is arranging supervision, otherwise their insurance is invalid.

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:42

OK OP, time to fess up - are you that irresponsible mother who just wants her unruly 13yo out of her way, so will send her off to the local primary to "help" because one more kid to look after isn't a problem, and if she takes a bottle of cider for her lunch and swears like a trooper, so what, what's the problem?

because you'd think it - honestly, some of the replies on here are mad!

Thomyorke · 06/07/2014 14:44

My Dd is younger and goes back to primary to help ( secondary finishes early on a Friday) but only because she is good at music and it means the school can offer cheap music lesson she helps the younger children with notes whilst the music teacher gives 1:1. She is always with the teacher in the same room so no supervision needed.

phantomnamechanger · 06/07/2014 14:44

then again, to be fair, I have assumed best case scenario - if she's as useless as the Y10 boy who went to DHs office last year and did not even know how to sort things into alphabetical order............

STOPwiththehahaheheloling · 06/07/2014 14:48

Hi OP my primary aged dcs go to a local summer scheme in the youth club and there are teen volunteers who help out there every day. All aged around 13/14. Is that something your DD would consider?

ICanSeeTheSun · 06/07/2014 15:07

In DD school even parent helpers are CRB checked.