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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old helping out at local primary school

104 replies

pippiLS · 06/07/2014 14:24

AIBU to think that this is something my DD could do. She has finished school for the Summer and the local primary school doesn't finish for another few weeks.

I don't want to put the Head in an awkward position by asking if it is actually considered U. I can't think why it would be really.

OP posts:
Original poster
pippiLS · 06/07/2014 18:07

Worral, she left 4 years ago so it's been that long since they did it - it's Roald Dahl's Goldilocks.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 06/07/2014 18:08

Totally irrelevant but do they really do the same play every year?

Our village school repeat plays so the one DD was in when she was in Y4 was also performed by Y9 when they were in Y4. A whole bunch of them came to see it for old times' sake. It was lovely.

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2014 18:15

Ahh I see, that makes sense.

ICanSeeTheSun · 06/07/2014 18:19

If she does get this opportunity then she needs to fully commit.

Not letting down the school if a friend wants to go out.

Mrsjayy · 06/07/2014 18:26

No she has to comit to the days she says not bunk off to meet her friend

Mrsjayy · 06/07/2014 18:28

I know ive had kids at high school too long when the same school show rolls round

Original poster
pippiLS · 06/07/2014 19:21

She's prepared to make the commitment and forego any better offers.

Thanks again for the opinions - I love MN for this sort of thing.

OP posts:
Rivercam · 06/07/2014 19:24

My dc has gone back to help in his old junior school for a few days at the end of term in both years 7 and 8, so I don't see it as a problem. It was only for a few days, though, not weeks.

GreenPetal94 · 06/07/2014 20:07

I did this when I was 13 and at private school and mum was a state school teacher. I tended to help out with the 4-5 year olds. It was fun

MidniteScribbler · 06/07/2014 20:55

I think approaching an individual teacher would be better to see if they would be open to it, rather than the head needing to try and arrange it. I'm not in the UK, but end of term is often when I have a student teacher, so wouldn't want a 13 year old to supervise at the same time. I'd only want the young student if I had previous experience with them (former pupil) and knew they were responsible and trustworthy. I'm not completely against it, I did it myself through high school for my first grade teacher, and lived it. It would be an individual case by case basis.

partialderivative · 06/07/2014 21:56

Having your own dd in a classroom to help is a very different scenario to having someone else's daughter.

And, of course, the inevitable question; would parents feel happy about someone's 13 y/o ds being in the same situation as the OP's daughter would like to be?

Original poster
pippiLS · 13/07/2014 15:57

UPDATE

So, one week later DD got a response from the Head:

Dear DD,
Thank you for your email, it was lovely to hear from you.

It is very kind of you to offer your help for the last week or two of term but we have a number of work experience students who have been working with us this term from our local upper schools in most classes. Perhaps we could look at future opportunities in liaison with your school for similar structured work experience sessions in the future.

I hope you have a lovely summer.
Best wishes,
Head

I'm not sure what to make of this really. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
FatewiththeLeadPiping · 13/07/2014 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
pippiLS · 13/07/2014 16:02

Yes, but DD wasn't looking for work experience, she was just trying to be of use. That's a bit different, no?

OP posts:
Realitybitesyourbum · 13/07/2014 16:02

What don't you understand? Its quite clear, thanks but no thanks.
Now what are you going to do for childcare?!

gordyslovesheep · 13/07/2014 16:05

she's a CHILD - there would be issues with supervision and liability - it would not be doing them a favour it would be adding to the number of kids they are responsible for

I think that's fairly obvious - sorry

Original poster
pippiLS · 13/07/2014 16:21

Reality, no childcare needed.

Yes, it is quite clearly a thanks but no thanks response.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 13/07/2014 16:42

ah, that's a shame but I can see why they don't want to be overwhelmed with teens helping, if they had not got work experience people already in they may well have said yes.

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2014 17:11

A 13 year old who wants to be let loose in a Year 4 classroom while proclaiming she needs "little or no supervision" sounds like a loose cannon to me. I for one would be declining her services.

AnyoneForTennis · 13/07/2014 17:30

As a parent I wouldn't want this

Are you peeved that as a governor, your DD hasn't been indulged?

LIZS · 13/07/2014 17:45

Not sure what your issue is with the letter . It is very polite and makes it clear they have older students on longer term placements . Presumably these are carefully chosen by their school, perhaps having expressed an interest in teaching or childcare careers in the future, and/or have specific skills to bring to projects .

Goldmandra · 13/07/2014 18:03

I think some of the responses here are just plain nasty.

The head obviously doesn't feel that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of having an extra teenager in the school. It's a shame as others might see her in the same light as a parent helper but never mind. They do have to be careful to manage how much information is available to work experience students and parent helpers and I can see that having too many around at once might make that more difficult.

She offered which is brilliant and shows an initiative that isn't always there in children of her age.

Has she thought about how she might like to use the time in a different way. Is there a pre-school or similar who might like her to come and play with their children? Some would welcome her with open arms but others might respond like the school did.

offtoseethewizard64 · 13/07/2014 19:34

I think it is probably just true. Many Secondary schools use the last week/2 weeks of term for year 10 work experience and many of the lazy ones who can't be bothered to look elsewhere are placed in local Primary schools. It is always difficult to find suitable tasks for W/E students to do, so they don't want the added task of an extra person to accommodate - as the W/E children will already doing many of the task your DD has offered to do.

If, in future, they know in advance that your DD is available, they may be able to accommodate her within the allocated spaces. Be warned though, schools instruct their students to apply for W/E places in Oct/Nov for the following Summer, so places are allocated early.

Original poster
pippiLS · 14/07/2014 07:07

I think I have worked out what is bothering me.

My youngest has not had any W/E helpers in his class. His teacher is leaving this year and I know will need lots of help to sort her classroom out before the E of T. I am not sure if she has even been offered DD's assistance.

Ah well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and DD at least seems happy with the Heads explanation.

Thanks for all the feedback.

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 14/07/2014 07:16

It would be actual work for the teachers to have a 13 year old in school. They wouldn't be allowed to be left unsupervised anywhere. Their interactions with the children would need to be monitored all the time. Tasks would need to be explained and supervised. Things like lunchtime would be awkward, it might be odd to have them in the staffroom etc