To put something DD doesn't like on my nipple to wean her off BM?

[ShineSmile]

DD is a breast monster. She wants a feed every hour during the day, unless we are out on an activity, and every 2 hours at night. She is 13 months. She doesn't drink milk but I have a calcium and other vitamins covered (we see a dietician due to allergies).

I want to wean her off the breast. I have no idea how I will manage to do that, unless I put her really off the breast. I was thinking of placing the vitamin drops she hates on my nipple. Is that too cruel? And more importantly will it work?

I used to put the drops on me as well. Didn't put DD off, sorry. Every hour during the day sounds really exhausting, what is she eating?

MrsTerry, she doesn't want to eat much (probably because she isn't hungry). I offer her a varied balanced diet (confirmed by dietician) but what she eats from it is little.

I reckon that when we stop BF she will eat more, and then hopefully stop all the night awakenings?

IME, you need to cut down to morning, noon and night (just say 'no' and then distract at all other times), and then once this is established, go away for a couple of nights to cut out the night feeds.

You just can't do it by yourself - you need to be physically away from her.

It's really surprising though how quickly they do forget. With mine I found that I was more affected by stopping than they were

Do you have a dh or dp and if so can you leave her with him for increasing periods during the day? If she isn't close to the milk supply she might not be so bothered about missing a feed and he can obviously offer her other drinks / snacks if she's hungry.

Thanks!

MsBug, if I'm not there, she will go 6 hours without it, maybe even longer, but as soon as I'm there, she wants feeds every hour

I can't really leave with her DH as he works long hours and most weekends too. I don't have family nearby either.

She pulls such a big tantrum if I don't give in. We would have to be out of the house all day to bring feeds down to 3 a day, and this just isn't physically do-able for me, especially after all the night awakenings!

You're going to have to learn not to give in to tantrums op!

You could put Nail Bite on your nipples!!!!

Imagine her face!

((Evil face))

Hg

Calzone, I'm tempted

So are you all saying I should let her cry?

If she is full, clean and not poorly, she just wants comfort.

I would do controlled crying but know that is controversial!

Distract distract distract. Break the habit. Dh puts her to bed a few nights in a row (you go out if necessary). Drop feed by feed. I think ywbu to put something horrible on your nipples and there is no guarantee that would work. Good luck op.

Calzone, the problem is I have no idea if she is hungry when she wakes up.

Your dh will have to do night wake ups for a few nights. Try over a long weekend. She has to break the habit that you'll feed her back to sleep.

if I'm not there, she will go 6 hours without it, maybe even longer so it is comfort. Nothing wrong with that BTW unless you want to cut down. In this case though it sounds like it's affecting her food intake as well so not ideal.

There is a difference between letting a child cry who is being told you love them, getting hugs, etc. Not the same as leaving her crying in a corner.

Grammar, MrsTP, grammar.

Agree with pps that the best thing is for her to be away from you a bit during the day. I could never get dd to cut down until she started spending half days at my mums and we realised that it was a habit. We did it gently as we are big softies about crying, so I would try to be out, busy or giving her a snack at times that we'd usually be feeding, over a couple of weeks she was down to one day feed then dropped that as well when I went back to work at 14 months. Extra snacks are good (it doesn't have to be forever, just during transition) and I would also wear clothing that was bfing-unfriendly, so I was less tempted to just give in rather than find ways to distract!

I don't think you should just let her cry
Can you try to find real life support eg a breast feeding counsellor fro nct or la leche league

Or perhaps try posting in breast and bottle feeding - back when I was feeding my two I found wonderful help and advice there. And there was at least one breast feeding counsellor who regularly posted.

Anecdotally - my elder dd fed every two hours day and night until around a year old, when she just 'clicked' with the solid food

Have you looked at kellymom.com? It's excellent. There's pages on there about how to cut down on feeding/night wean.

Yes I had forgotten about kellymom. It's great

Wait until your DH has a week off and can help. It's the easiest way.

When cutting down feeds in the day I used the same phrase each time to say no so it was familiar when I started dropping night feeds (e.g. 'No milk darling').
One thing is that you decide when it's time for milk because if you sometimes say yes and sometimes no it is confusing for dc - she doesn't know that you're dropping to three feeds and so only say yes at certain times, and if you sometimes say yes she'll keep asking!
Say no in a very matter of fact way, and quickly offer/do something else, it takes a bit of energy at first to keep distracting but it's honestly not as bad as you think it will be!
Have a box of interesting looking bits, a beaker of water, banana, box of raisins, dried apricot etc. So you can say 'No milk darling...what would you like instead?' and offer the box.

I've just had to get tough on night feeds with my 14m old. The combination of 3 feeds a night while Ofsted were in work finished me off. I got DH to deal with the first 5 nights as there was no chance of milk from him. We visit in, make sure he's lying down, stroke his back and go. The length 8f time he cried went down rapidly. A few weeks in, he increasingly sleeps through, and if he does wake, either settles in a few minutes by himself or, needs one short visit to soothe.

I'm feeling much better now, and my osteopath noticed straight away that the tension in my shoulders had gone from it!

At 13 months she only needs morning, one in the day and then night. The rest of her diet should be actual food. Ride out the tantrums, I know it's tough but you're in charge and she'll realise it. I personally would have no problem with ignoring the tantrum if I know she's fed, clean and healthy. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but she's old enough that it isn't going to harm her. It worked for me anyway. As soon as my DS realised I meant business the tantrums stopped (and maybe I was lucky in that they only ever lasted minutes anyway). Either way she'll never eat properly if you give in with this level of BF. Good luck.