Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the girl on the train she's not chubby?

49 replies

ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:19

Two teens sat on the train, one just told her very normal sized friend; you're not fat, you're just chubby.

AIBU to tell her she's lovely as she is?

OP posts:
Wishfulmakeupping · 05/07/2014 19:21

I would want to tell her too. Her friend sounds like a cow bag

cookielove · 05/07/2014 19:22

I would want to say it to!

londonrach · 05/07/2014 19:22

Say it

mercifulgibbon · 05/07/2014 19:22

I wouldn't dare in case they did that weird switcheroo and turned on me together.

gobbynorthernbird · 05/07/2014 19:24

Is she 'normal' or slim? Because most normal sized people I see are chubby.

SaucyJack · 05/07/2014 19:41

What do you mean by "normal" size?

I was obese after giving birth recently, but was still buying clothes in a size 12.

Most average size people are a bit chubby tbh.

Original poster
ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:42

I said it, because she was normal. Pale, red haired, tall and about a size 12 at a guess.

I said to her that I was sorry to appear rude, but I couldn't help but overhear their conversation, and I told her she isn't fat, or chubby; she's just a normal teenage girl, and she looked lovely. I told her I'd be really upset if my daughter felt that way about herself, and that I spent years fretting I was fat, before coming to the conclusion, after 15 wasted years, that I'm quite alright actually.

She said 'thank you so much' and then I had to get off because it was my stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:44

Slim to me is slim proportions. Normal is say, a 5ft 7/8inch size 12, like I am. Just... Normal. Not chubby at ALL!!

OP posts:
Eebahgum · 05/07/2014 19:45

Well done you. I hope she takes your words to heart. I wish someone had said something similar to my younger (significantly thinner than I am now) self, who had cripplingly low self esteem due to my perceived size.

UncrushedParsley · 05/07/2014 19:45

Well done! :)

Original poster
ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:46

She wasn't what anyone would describe as chubby. And her friend was cruel. Her whole body just sank when she said it to her Sad

OP posts:
DearDinah · 05/07/2014 19:47

That's a lovely thing to do

ShelaghTurner · 05/07/2014 19:48

And me, when my whole family would sit in a restaurant and tell me how fat I was whilst asking the waiters if they were giving me the biggest portions because I was the fat one. I was normal sized too and now am not. I do have no self confidence and hate myself. You might just have saved her from that.

TruJay · 05/07/2014 19:48

Lovely, go you!

Original poster
ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:49

She was the same sort of proportion as me. I work out a lot, and I'm tall with broad shoulders, hourglass proportions and muscle everywhere else Grin but I'm not fat. I have a 30 inch waist (29 on a good day!) and I'm a comfortable 12.

I grew up feeling like a giantess amoungst my shorter friends.

OP posts:
Morethanalittlebitconfused · 05/07/2014 19:49

I always pipe up when a teen sounds like they're either dithering about their weight or if their mum is having a 'gah!' Moment!

I bumped into a lovely lady in Asda with her teenage daughter choosing bras and the girl was adamant she wanted white ones for school because 'you can't see them through the shirts' her mum was, rightly, saying neutral ones are better. I smiled, picked one up, and said your mums right you know.

I walked off, looked behind me and lo and behold teen had a selection of neutral coloured ones Grin

I've also told a girl she looked gorgeous when she was having an 'I'm fat' moment in a changing room before.

It doesn't hurt to help a teen with a small comment, they take everything on board whether we think they do or not

Floggingmolly · 05/07/2014 19:49

Saucy. If you were still fitting into a size 12, you couldn't possibly have been obese Confused. unless you're around 3 feet tall

Maleducada · 05/07/2014 19:49

Whether she's truly normal or a bit plump, her friend shouldn't tell her on the train! :o

Maleducada · 05/07/2014 19:50

that was supposed to be a shocked face.

bouncychair · 05/07/2014 19:50

That's so lovely.

She will always remember you and your kind words.

HenI5 · 05/07/2014 19:51

You did a kind thing OP.
With friends like that ay? Confused

Felyne · 05/07/2014 19:54

What a lovely thing to do. It probably meant even more coming from a complete stranger because you didn't know her and had absolutely no obligation to say anything to her, but you went to the effort to do so.

sunbathe · 05/07/2014 19:55

What a lovely thing to do, ziggie. Flowers

Original poster
ziggiestardust · 05/07/2014 19:56

Well exactly hen

The 'friend' was smaller in every way, and had a very pretty face. And tbh, I felt like she was fishing for compliments in an 'oh I wish I could be like you!' Kind of way.

I know that's just how teen girls are sometimes, but I saw myself in notchubbygirl so much Sad

It was in Zone 5 Surrey, btw if anyone maybe recognises the girl (I'm sure not, but if you think it's your DD; she's beautiful!)

OP posts:
londonrach · 05/07/2014 19:59

Once I was a size 8/10 (along time ago) and was so cold and tried all the time. I'm happier being 12/14. At least im warm....