To not want to be hospitable?

[SauvignonBlanche]

It's my last weekend before going into hospital to have a benign brain tumour removed on Monday.

We're volunteering at the local food bank this afternoon then have just a quiet family time planned, though no doubt DH and DS will want to watch the football.

We were on our way to Sainsburys when DH's mobile went, it was BIL, who leaves 300 miles away, saying that he was half an hour away and was popping in for a visit.

When I called him back to ask if he was stopping for dinner (I wanted to know how much food to buy) it became apparent that he planned to stay overnight.

BIL is really hard work, very opinionated and doesn't listen to a word anyone says, he does have mental and physical health problems.

I'm anxious anyway about this operation and this has just topped me over the edge, I sobbed hysterically in Sainsburys.

I've tried to be nice but I just can't do it, he's just offered to look after the DCs ( the eldest of which is 17!) so we can go out, I snapped that I wanted to spend time with my family and have left the room.

I know IABU but I just can't do it!

I don't want this to sound harsh, OP, but ....

I feel for you, OP, but was your BiL aware of your forthcoming surgery? If not, then he was not unreasonable to ask if he could 'pop in'. When he telephoned was the time to tell him not to come and why.

Waiting until he arrived was perhaps leaving it too late to tell him he couldn't stay but I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him why he can't stay.

If he did know that you were undergoing surgery and what it was for then he was unreasonable even to 'pop in'.

I have been in a situation that wasn't exactly the same as yours but I could still have done without it except that it was my own idea.

I hope you'll be fine after your op, OP.

Agree with DH driving him back home, but admit that's not likely to happen.

Hope this doesn't drag out tomorrow. Wish you could convince DH to drive BiL home first thing Sunday morning.

If BIL has to leave his car at yours for a while - well, maybe he'll be more considerate next time.

Don't even think about trying to be nice. You are so NBU.

Best of luck on Monday!

What really? DH just pops him the 300 miles home? In BIL's car? Then spends half of tomorrow getting back somehow?

I'd be furious too Sauvignon. Good luck for Monday

He's gone!

He's going to drive for an hour then stop at a Travelodge. I think he finally 'got it', I don't know if it was when DH had a word about him losing his temper and me not needing the stress.

He apologised for his bad timing, he'd forgotten about my op. I was relieved when he left though.

It's not possible for you to be unreasonable given your op. I hope your dh comes through for you and belatedly puts your needs first by getting rid of man and dog. He has issues, but they dont trump yours, especially not in your own house.

All the very best for Monday x

Hope you can relax for the rest of the evening then
:-)

:)

Now relax and forget about him. Good luck!

Glad he finally got the message.

I'm glad he's gone. And I hope your DH is suitably apologetic for not dealing with him sooner!
Good luck for Monday.

Oh thank goodness! So relieved for you, now you can de-stress and have a quiet day tomorrow. Hurrah!

Thank God! You were so not being unreasonable. I don't care how he happened to be there, he needed to go.