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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Babysitting confusion

64 replies

dippylongstocking · 05/07/2014 01:01

Not sure this is the right thread, but here goes.
Last week I was asked by another mum if I could look after her son on their moving day (2 weeks away). I don't really know this woman very well, but our sons are good friends. I agreed, as it would only involve collecting them from school and giving him dinner.
Today, the mum told me her moving date has changed to monday. I said that I can't have him then as I've already agreed to look after my 3 nephews while dsis is in hospital. She laughed and said 'well, what's one more?' and drove off before I could respond. Now I'm not sure if I'm going to be having this boy for the afternoon or not. I don't have the mum's number or any way to contact her.
What do I do?

OP posts:

WaitMonkey · 07/07/2014 13:56

I hope she was just joking and you've got this sorted.

FishWithABicycle · 07/07/2014 22:25

OP do come back and let us know what happened (plus I hope your DSis is OK and recovering well and that you had a good evening with your Nephews)

Original poster

dippylongstocking · 07/07/2014 23:36

I didn't see the mum in the playground this morning, so I explained the situation to the teacher and she indicated that this isn't the first time there has been a problem with this particular child's after school care. She said she would speak to the mum and make sure someone would be collecting the boy.
When I collected ds from school (which was an experience with 4 other children!) I saw that the boy was not in the class line-up. I asked ds if he had been collected early, and ds said he hadn't been at school at all today!
I'm pretty sure he isn't really sick (it's a bit coincidental) but I feel like I've grassed the mum up. I don't agree with keeping children off school unless they are actually ill, but if I had known she had called him in sick I wouldn't have said anything to the teacher.

Fish - my sister is doing just fine, thanks for asking.

OP posts:

Loopylala7 · 07/07/2014 23:44

Just throwing it out there, but while I agree this woman was a tad rude and inconsiderate, how close is your son with hers? are they really good friends? if so, might this cause a bit of a problem for their friendship if you put his mum in her place? If it was me I think I would have to decide if it really was going to be a massive nightmare to have the extra child - are they of an age where they more or less entertain themselves? if so the extra child might help to keep the others occupied???

erin99 · 08/07/2014 00:11

I doubt you've told the teacher anything she didn't already know. They know perfectly well what's going on when a child is mysteriously ill on their birthday, then they come into school the next day full of stories about about their trip to Legoland :)

wafflyversatile · 08/07/2014 00:33

At least she listened when you said you couldn't do it.

WaitMonkey · 08/07/2014 07:02

The teacher sounds well aware of the situation. I wouldn't worry about it. Poor boy though, he must have had an enjoyable day, watching grown ups lift boxes. Glad your sister is ok and hope you enjoyed some last night after looking at after all the children.

mimishimmi · 08/07/2014 08:26

Ah well. If she really was moving, I can understand her keeping him home. The important thing is she didn't take you for granted. After school care can be very tricky and it's perfectly okay to ask others (from time to time) but not to take no for an answer. If the teacher says she has a reputation for it, it must mean she does have prior history of taking the mick though because otherwise it wouldn't have got back to her/staff in general?

FunkyBoldRibena · 08/07/2014 08:39

You shouldn't have said anything to the teacher in the first place really. You should have left it as it isn't any of your business - you said you couldn't do it and that should have been it.

Notagainmun · 08/07/2014 09:03

I think you did the right thing in explaining the situation to the teacher. Much better than if the child had been at school and mum didn't collect and blamed you.

FishWithABicycle · 08/07/2014 09:18

Sounds like you dealt with it all just fine - well done. And glad to hear that DSis is OK.

Funky you may not have read the thread quite closely enough, but if she hadn't said anything then there was a quite strong likelihood that this child would be uncollected at the end of the day and the kid's mum would tell the school that this was the OPs fault - she was perfectly correct to warn them that this might happen even though thankfully it didn't.

diddl · 08/07/2014 09:28

I don't think that there was anything wrong with OP telling the school that she was concerned that X's mother thought that she would be collecting X.

That Op wasn't collecting, & any problems to be addressed to the mother.

Whether or not the boy was ill isn't OPs concern.

FunkyBoldRibena · 08/07/2014 09:38

Funky you may not have read the thread quite closely enough, but if she hadn't said anything then there was a quite strong likelihood that this child would be uncollected at the end of the day and the kid's mum would tell the school that this was the OPs fault - she was perfectly correct to warn them that this might happen even though thankfully it didn't.

I read it perfectly fine. the OP said they couldn't do it. End of. The OP shouldn't be running around after other people like a little lamb.

mimishimmi · 08/07/2014 09:44

The OP said she couldn't do it but moving mum's response left her unclear whether she was still expected to do it. She was right to tell the teacher in those circumstances. What if the child had gone missing because he had been left alone? If the mum had said "oh, can't you? That's a shame. I suppose I shall have to ask someone else or keep him home" it would have been perfectly clear and no need to tell the teacher.

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