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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect an apology?

45 replies

michleydon · 04/07/2014 22:26

In Feb 2014 my 13 yo daughter and her friend went to our local Asda to get some doughnuts. They looked around the make up, clothes, music etc like teenage girls do. A security guard there started following them so they thought it was funny to try and lose him (not clever but as I said they are 13, they didn't run around the store either just went back on themselves) My daughter had a dvd she was going to buy and her friend had the doughnuts. The security guard found them and asked thim where was the jewellery and make up they had been looking at and if they intended to pay for the items they had in their possesion,they said that they didn't have any on them because they were only looking and yes they were going to pay for te doughnuts and dvd. He told them to pay for their items and leave the shop now.
I rang and complained about the way they had been spoken too, I believe that they can only question you once they have seen you leave the shop without paying (after speaking to the security guard in the shop I work in he said that they also have to see you pick up, conceal and leave the shop without paying) Asda backed their SG, I asked to see the CCTV footage but they said no.
I was in the shop a few days later with my daughter and seen the SG so I said to him that if he feels my daughter is behaving suspiously then I should be contacted, he asked who my daughter is, I pointed her out, he said oh her, her and her little friend are 2 of the most suspious/dodgiest people who come in her (they are not), I asked to speak to the manager, he turned smarmy and arrogant smirking at me, I called him a smarmy bugger (which I know was wrong but my daughter had just been accused for being one of the most suspious people in the area) so he kicked me out of the shop and wouldn't contact the manager, I rang him from the car, ended up sending an email to the highest person in the company that I could find, but have been fobbed off with the SG was right to do as he did.
My daughter has never been in trouble more that a bit of messing in class and I truley don't believe she was shoplifting. Anyone know where I stand, I would like a proper apology from Asda. According to members of staff in the store, this SG has on a few occasions wrongly accuse people in the store Thanks

OP posts:

PedlarsSpanner · 04/07/2014 22:30

Well it was 5 months ago

Channel Elsa and Let It Go

mommy2ash · 04/07/2014 22:35

she thought it was funny to try lose the security guard, was acting suspiciously so he asked them to pay for the things they had and go. what exactly is the problem?

you then went into where he worked and started hassling him about it in person. you shouldn't have done that. if you wanted to speak to someone about the incident you should have went and spoken to a manager before getting yourself thrown out of the shop. the response you received may have been a bit more sympathetic had you gone the right way about it.

Original poster

michleydon · 04/07/2014 22:35

I did, but the other day when I was shopping SG made a sneaky comment as I left the store about how he stands around doing his job, there was no one else there!

OP posts:

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 04/07/2014 22:40

YABU
You should put your energy into getting your daughter to apologise for her behaviour. The security guard did nothing wrong.

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 04/07/2014 22:40

YABU
You should put your energy into getting your daughter to apologise for her behaviour. The security guard did nothing wrong.

BettyBolognese · 04/07/2014 22:43

Hah Channel Elsa and Let It Go... Love it!

AnyoneForTennis · 04/07/2014 22:44

he's possibly seen them attempt to steal. you're her mum and of course believe only the best from her....

BakeOLiteGirl · 04/07/2014 22:51

I spent years being followed by security guards. No idea why because I have never stolen and never behaved like I might. Pissed me right off.

Nottinghill1 · 04/07/2014 22:52

It sounds like dd can not do any wrong in Mummy's eyes! The sg would not behave like this without reason.

BakeOLiteGirl · 04/07/2014 22:53

Oh and just to add, I was coming out of Tesco once and saw the security staff using their camera monitor machine thingy to check out women's breasts so they aren't all virtuous.

Scholes34 · 04/07/2014 23:00

Your daughter and friend were disrespectful to the security guard and that kind of behaviour shouldn't be encouraged. I'd be very disappointed in my 13 year old for behaving this way . . . and messing around in class.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 04/07/2014 23:15

It was 5 months ago!

This was a non event at the time and even less of one now...

Chippednailvarnish · 04/07/2014 23:19

If you have such an issue with them, stop shopping there.

Nicknacky · 04/07/2014 23:22

I think the only person who should be getting an apology is the security guard. And your daughter given a lesson in manners and how to behave in shops. Teenage girls shoplift and she did nothing to avert suspicion. You should be annoyed at her, not the person righty doing their job.

Garcia10 · 04/07/2014 23:33

Agree with the majority of posters. You need to have a discussion with your daughter regarding her behaviour. From your post it seems she was being antagonistic and you were undoubtedly writing the events from a sympathetic viewpoint so it is easy to imagine the true situation.

You definitely need to apologise to the security guard and teach your daughter how to behave in such situations.

whois · 04/07/2014 23:38

Totally non event. Daughter acted like a shoplifter and was told to pay for her stuff and get out. Fair dos.

fifi669 · 04/07/2014 23:42

I agree YABU. She acted suspiciously on purpose then was offended he treated her with suspicion?

PinkHamster · 04/07/2014 23:46

Daughter acted like a shoplifter

DottyDooRidesAgain · 04/07/2014 23:48

OP surely you must have more exciting things going on in your life.

Chalk it down to a life lesson for your DD and move on. Bearing a grudge never solved anything.

WorraLiberty · 04/07/2014 23:52

Act like a shoplifter and you'll get treated like one

You should have shaken the security guard's hand for helping your DD to learn this fairly bloody obvious to everyone lesson.

partialderivative · 05/07/2014 01:15

What Worra said...

... as usual

Strokethefurrywall · 05/07/2014 01:23

I can't believe someone would get themselves worked up over something so trivial.

Good christ, perhaps shop elsewhere. Just a suggestion.

josieboo · 05/07/2014 01:31

I spent my entire teenage years being followed by security guards and staff in shops, and all I did was walk in the shop. Teenagers, to shop owners, look suspicious, and all your daughter did was make herself look even more dodgy. The security guard is just doing his job.

KnackeredMuchly · 05/07/2014 02:08

YABU!!! Just all over yabu.

Ledkr · 05/07/2014 02:12

If you are so pissed off why are you still shopping there? Vote with your feet if you are that angry.

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