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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think school isnt a childminding service

207 replies

Xcountry · 04/07/2014 14:15

So many posts about schools closing half day for end of term and god forbid you have to be there for your child.
Teacher strikes so you have to be there for your child.
School holidays so you have to be there for your child.
Child was ill and got sent home so you have to be there for your child.

Am I the only one who reads this and thinks well yes your career is probably important but you chose to have your children and this comes as part and parcel of being a parent? A school is not a childminding service. Yes it can be a pain in the backside to juggle and work around but that is what happens when you have children, they impact on your professional life and your social life.

OP posts:
Rubadubstylee · 04/07/2014 16:28

And what's just bloody great is when they arbitrarily decide to close at 2pm (Easter service? Parents' evening?) and then helpfully point out the ridiculously fucking expensive after school club will be open from 2pm for an extra payment but hurry now because places are limited!

Boaty · 04/07/2014 16:29

Like it or not the two cannot be split anymore.
Education SHOULDN'T be childminding but due to the fact that 2 full time wages can still total less than the 'average' income and it is necessary for both parents to work full time to support a family it is no longer possible to split the issues. It now IS childcare. Not everyone has access to a support network for holidays/illness/training days. All holidays come out of leave, very few jobs have more than 3-4 weeks leave and often restrict when holidays can be taken. The government also don't want parents to be at home so policies reflect this.
thank heavens it wasn't so much an issue when DC were little
Parents now have my sympathies, whatever they do is wrong!

CombineBananaFister · 04/07/2014 16:34

Also not worried about my career, just desperately worried about keeping my job and trying to keep pissing off my employer/colleagues to a minimum by giving AS MUCH NOTICE AS FEASIBLY POSSIBLY for my absence.

Illness will happen and is to be expected with children but giving 5 days or less notice for strikes/parent events/closures is a bit poor IMHO. It's the short notice for things that could be better planned that adds to the problem.

Berryglitter · 04/07/2014 16:34

I have to work or I don't get paid. Annual leave goes on school holidays. I don't see school as free childcare, it's there to educate my son. If he's ill, that's fine, I take the day off.

I am sick of short notice emails or texts, meaning I have to mess customers and colleagues about to try and cover childcare. I don't think anyone has an issue other than the amount of notice we are given.

AllDirections · 04/07/2014 16:41

Of course school isn't childcare but when school says I want your child here on these days between these times then of course I'm not going to plan any childcare for those times. If school then decides that they're not going to have my DC during those times then it leaves me with a problem.

I'm not sure why some people find that difficult to understand Hmm

Gen35 · 04/07/2014 16:47

the school day and holidays are desperately in need of reform, nearly all families have two parents working ft or pt and the govt wants both parents to work, the 9-3 and crazy long holidays, as hoc days off, I'd like to see them all consigned to the dustbin of history. Why should dc have more holidays than the statutory minimum for parents? There's a fundamental problem there.

Kaekae · 04/07/2014 16:49

Oh come on, I don't think I know of any parent who thinks the school are a form of child care! I know I don't consider them to be so! I am a SAHM but wish they would do away with half days, we have had loads this year and I want my children to get a decent education! Events at short notice are a pain as I really like to be able to attend but can't if I get information so close to the event. I think most parents would just like schools to stick to an established routine and give plenty of notice so that it can be arranged with work.

I feel sorry for working parents, they are damned if they do and damned if they don't!

Rubadubstylee · 04/07/2014 16:52

AllDirections

I'm not sure why some people find that difficult to understand

Because some people are utter knobs. Grin

ginnybag · 04/07/2014 16:54

Very good point Gen35.

With the current school system, it is actually impossible to be a both-parents-working-full-time family - as is needed a lot of the time and as is what the Government is currently telling us we should all be once our children are in school - and not need Childcare.

5.6 weeks x 2 = 11.2 weeks

School Holidays = 13 weeks.

There's a gap there, even if there's no sickness/training days/school plays/doctors appointments for parents/car stuff etc etc etc in the whole year. And God forbid we actually want to spend time as a family!

So that needs looking at, straight off.

And, yes, it would mean a long day for the kids - but they're doing it anyway!!!

WanderingAway · 04/07/2014 17:02

When do schools have unexpected half days? The only time my dds school finishes early is the last day of the school year (today Grin )and it has always been like that since I was at school.

Rubadubstylee · 04/07/2014 17:05

WanderingAway
When do schools have unexpected half days? The only time my dds school finishes early is the last day of the school year (today )and it has always been like that since I was at school.

My kids' school closes at 2pm at any excuse - see my post above.

Deverethemuzzler · 04/07/2014 17:17

I support the right to strike
However I also work in the public sector and I am not allowed to be off next week. I cannot take sick or AL or I will be investigated for doing so fraudulently.

Lucky for me OH works nights so will be at home.

School may not be childminding but our society is built around the expectation that children will be in school at certain times and on certain days.

School hours and the idea that our children go to school is something that has been imposed on us by governments. Its not like bunch of parents started shouting that they wanted to have kids but not the bother of looking after them between 9-3.

I didn't ask for this to happen. It is the way it is.

You cannot suddenly whip this away and expect people to have all kinds of stratagies in place to make up for its absence.

Your OP is half baked.

WanderingAway · 04/07/2014 17:23

Rub - I must be very lucky with the school my dd goes to then. They very rarely strike, they don't close for random half days and they tell you the dates of the holidays/inservice days at the start of the school year.

Gen35 · 04/07/2014 17:26

Yeah I think they really have made it very hard for both parents to work full or nearly full time without back up from family. I don't have any and I'm cross about feeling as though I need to sah because of things such as poor quality after school provision and lack of matching/suffient pints of holidays. Give me all the tax breaks you like, I'd rather have good quality wraparound childcare etc.

SolidGoldBrass · 04/07/2014 18:02

What is really needed is state-funded affordable/free good quality childcare that's available 24/7. IF we are to have a society where affording the basics means full-time working for both parents. Because then it would be possible to take on evening or weekend working and know your DC were safe, and spend more of their free time with them.

deakymom · 04/07/2014 18:10

parents should be allowed to strike too and take there kids out for a day! it should be sorry i don't get paid enough to bring my child in to school (when the sun is shining and i want to bugger off to the beach)

on a serious note this is and always will be a no win situation between school/family and government

FunkyBoldRibena · 04/07/2014 18:24

School insists that children are there between x hours for y weeks of the year. To then go and change the days or hours means that working parents then have to change their plans and maybe their employer's plans just because the school can't organise themselves properly.

What's to difficult to understand about that? Until workers get the same number of weeks off as school holidays - there is always likely to be issues.

Deverethemuzzler · 04/07/2014 18:24

There is no wrap around child care at all for children with SN, affordable or not, in this borough.

No breakfast clubs. No after school clubs.

Very little holiday provision and that has to be paid with using both money and a complicated system of applying begging for and being allocated 'hours'

Gen35 · 04/07/2014 18:28

Devere that's an excellent point and also something more people should be cross about. The situation is definitely worse for children with sn.

LumieresForMe · 04/07/2014 18:28

You are mixing two issues. Expecting school to be a childminding service, eg keeping the dcs just to help the parents or when they are regularly late at pick up etc.

And then you have the issue of schools closing/finishing early ect.
As far as I am concerned, school closing for a PD day is fine, a good thing actually because it means teachers will be on the same wave length, fir example to teach reading and phonics.
School deciding to close an hour early at the end if therm on the other side ... Why? What us the reason for the school to close? What sort of improvement is it going to give to the children to do so?

I have seen other systems working in different countries. Interestingly, countries where most mums are working full time never close early or at the drop of the hat. And the teachers still manage to do whatever needs to be done. On the other side, countries where most mums are SAHM, schools expect parents to be able to just drop everything whenever it suits them 'just for the children'.

In my experience here, the situation is very variable. Some schools seem to think that giving notice is never necessary. That a parent will always be present to pick up whatever the time the school deemed convenient for them. Others are much more careful. Maybe a sign that in a school where most mums work, it us clearly more of an issue so schools have to be more careful?

Eg all our PD days used to be a Monday. But most mums working part time at our school work Mondays and not Fridays. There has been some grumbles from parents and we now have A nice mix of Mondays and Fridays as PD days. Not difficult for the school to do but making things a hell of a lot easier for parents.
In the same way, the very rural school where most children are picked up by bus never finishes earlier it later than usual but the one where most children are walking distance from school and parents pick up think it's ok to have a more 'flexible' approach.

The reality is. The role of a parent should be to take dcs to school on time and pick them up on time. Not to have some flexibility by arriving late or picking up late. (Parents do get some bollocking for that now re absence etc).
On the other side, it sounds fair that the schools aren't foing around with flexible time that cause problems to parents, just as it cause problems to teachers when children arrive late. So no, unless there is a really good reason for it, children should finish at the same time.

chosenone · 04/07/2014 18:29

The thing is most other countries manage. Our holiday are not as long as many European countries, including Ireland. How do they cope?
In some places I think there is more acceptance and dare I say it, less of a feeling of entitlement. In the US for example, parents pay for their children to go on long summer camps and this is accepted and the norm. They have less annual leave and more school holidays.
I agree with solid in that affordable, round the clock childcare is needed, however, more flexible hours/shift patterns/holiday entitlement should be a priority too. also think the cost of living comes into play here as yhe UK is noticeably more expensive to live than the suburbs of the US.

cardibach · 04/07/2014 18:44

Gen do you seriously want children to with the adult working year?

cardibach · 04/07/2014 18:44

Work not with obviously.

Kaekae · 04/07/2014 18:54

My DS is at a junior school which has a half day at the end of EVERY term after registration! Why?! My other child at the Infant school doesn't so I am back and forth to the school all day - no issue, but it would be really difficult if I wasn't a SAHP. How would I explain all these half days to my employer? We have no wrap around care at our school and I have no family locally.

I read so much on here about teachers feeling so hard done by all the time, I am not sure why those teachers go in to teaching if all they do is complain about parents and how annoying it is that we all look upon schools as a form of child care. I even read on here how some teachers resent doing after school clubs because we all use it as child care. This saddens and worries me, it makes me wonder how these teachers are with the children if they resent doing the club. My son loves his after school club but truthfully, for me the after school club is a pitta as I am going back and forth picking up children all afternoon. I would happily do without the extra 30 minutes thanks, but gratefully his teacher puts in a lot of effort and he loves it.

Most parents are juggling work and actually trying to keep hold of their jobs so they can support their family, without all this added stress of last minute half days etc. if they don't work they get called scroungers.

Deverethemuzzler · 04/07/2014 19:00

chosen do all children go to summer camp in the US?

I can't believe everyone can afford three months full time camp every year.