I am virtually a sahm but do run a small business on a very part time basis. It is quite child friendly so often I work whilst looking after dc D.h works long hours Monday to Friday. During the week he has little involvement with dc. Never does bedtime etc.
A few examples in recent times. Before having last child I contemplated working nights as a means of keeping childcare costs to a minimum. The reaction I got was well you will have to be back to enable me to go to work. I am the main earner etc etc.
I wanted to go on a work conference. I was told I could go if I sorted out childcare. He refused to take a day off work for it. So I had to go cap in hand to Mil to ask her. She said yes originally and than backed out at the last minute. She thought she needed to tske sil somewhere although she actually didn't do it in the end. So dh took day off. Maybe she did it to get him to step up.
The third is that I need to go to hospital on Monday. It is an awkward time so don't think I can get back for school run. Plus bring an active 20 month old to an appointment for a gynecological issue is not my idea of fun. Also stressed as condition is sometimes pre cancerous. So surely at this point a considerate dh would say o I will see if I can work from home. He does this quite regular when he has appointments etc etc. However, he claims he can't next week
But no, I had to ask mil who is surprise surprise busy with sil. Only option now is to get sister to do it which will involve paying for her to make a 30 mile train journey or a 120 mile round trip to pick up and drop off.
Aibu to feel let down. If he wants to go away for the weekend he can without worrying about childcare as he knows I am there. Yet if I need help I have to do all the running.