i know ibu but i need help, personal contact issues

[mrsbucketxx]

when i meet new people especially to do with my business, or through mummy meets i find it really hard to engage in physical contact even a hand shake i don't like doing it. i feel pressured when the person leaves expecting a hand shake or cheek kiss if i don't know them that well.

i don't have this with friends i have known for ages but im feeling rude with new contacts.

what do you do?

or am i just blatantly rude.

Help

I really hate cheek kisses. Ew. Just ew. Just shake my hand ffs, don't do that horrible swooping in thing. And don't start me on when there are TWO. I have to do it all the bloody time because OH's family do it. I hate it.

I think I also hate it as I find it really affected in a way that I don't find, for example, a hug to be affected.

I agree with Gary. You're forcing yourself onto someone. horrid.

I'm not a hugger, or a cheek kisser at all. I don't mind doing it but I'm very well endowed and in my younger days it was remarked on by some guys, if not to my face then to other people, so I deliberately avoid anything that involves chest contact. In fact, at my boss's fathers funeral I shook his hand as well. He's about 5'2" or shorter and I'm 5'7" so he was boob level :S. I do handshake though and strive for perfection (limp fish handshakes annoy me).

I think if you're in the sort of job and area where people do that then seeing a psychologist may help to get desensitised.
In Scotland the cheek kissing is less common and I only have to shake hands once a month or so and then it's usually older men. Most people seem content to say hello and leave it at that.
Media people seem much more touchy feely.
The sticking your hand out first to avoid hugs and kisses sounds a good idea.

Angela well, actually, my desire not to be touched does trump their desire to touch me.

Exactly Gary I can't imagine why anyone would think otherwise.

You do need to be able to deal with the handshaking though OP. You already carry hand gel that you can use (discretely of course) and then wash your hands as soon as you can afterwards. If you are unable to cope with handshaking at all then you might benefit from some help but if you can cope but you just don't like it, well I don't think that's so unusual.

I am okay with hand shaking, its just the hugging/kissing/arm touching that freaks me out.

And I have on occasion held my hand out to shake someone's hand, only for them to give me a hug!

However, I am going to take on board the PP comments - sorry to derail the thread but thanks very much for everyone's input!

thanks everyone some good tips here. feeling a bit better about things

I have he rule that unless I married you or gave birth to you, don't touch me. (Obvs before dh boyfriends were allowed near me!)

I don't do physical contact with anyone bar dh, ds and dd.

Does that include parents/guardians/carers, siblings and your best mate who just got dumped? You don't touch anyone?

Maid I'm not sure that's weird, is it? I don't either.