Being precious about childproofing

[LondonBetti]

My elderly parents have no concept of child proofing which would be ok if they weren't incredibly careless / unaware of danger. Bleach, cleaning stuff is stored in cupboards at child level but also in used soda bottles thrown around. Nails, knives etc are in open pots, all the blind cords are looped. Worst of all, my DS has picked pills off the floor a couple of times.

Visiting with two young DC is a complete head-wreck but our only option to see my parents as they live far away and are not well enough to travel to us. I bring child locks but for some things can do nothing e.g. asked DM to cut the blind cords who said that she wouldn't come into my house changing things so we shouldn't expect them to change. They genuinely doesn't see the danger and can be really defensive - basically they thinks I'm a super precious pita.

How bad would it be to put my worries first and not to visit anymore? My parents will be gutted as they adore the DC and won't see them otherwise. Also likely fallout with my (childless) DBs and extended family. I just can't see any other way around this ...

Re the cords, you can get a little thing that attaches to the cord and then retracts it in like a retractable tape measure. Then you tuck it high up behind the curtain rail and voila!

How old are the children? can you maybe get a playpen? that's what I have and its wonderful - no amount of childproofing would work here.

You can't doctor others to childproof their child free Gomes for your benefit .
We have resisted doing too much for out twin boys (now almost 18 months). As shesparkes says, an early understanding of the word no is what we are aiming for.

why rely on a child to get it right when it's much easier and less risky for an adult to behave with some consideration? If they won't make their home safe for children, that tells me a person doesn't want children in their home & I behave accordingly.

I will change the blinds when he is old enough to reach them or when he is old enough to play alone, we will most probably have moved by that stage.

What if he stands on a chair or a cushion and reaches them? Can you at least tuck them up or tie around a cleat?

An early understanding of the word no is what everyone aims for. It is just that some of us think childproofing obvious risky areas is still worth doing, particularly taking into account adult human error on the odd occasion.

They are tied up blue we also have pretty high windows, he would actually have to climb a bookcase, edge along the windowsill which has got lots of plants on it, reach up to the cords, untie them from the clip thing and put it around his neck. I know that is possible but I don't think it is possible just at the moment, especially in the 30 seconds it would take me to answer the door, usually he follows me anyway. When he starts to show an interest in the first step of climbing up to the cords I'll change them but the info I have read says that cutting the cords doesn't stop them being dangerous, you need to have to dangling cords at all to make it safe.

I just wouldn't visit them

These people are clearly not that fussed about helping keep your children safe. Not the kind of people i could be bothered to make the extra effort for if I'm honest!

Why not have them visit at your house. If they are elderly and on d much medication etc as you say maybe they find it hard to cope with visits from such small children.

CMOT Give your son heck about not putting on any stickers at the wrinklies' house. Used morphine patches can kill. Also, your folks should be eligible for a free sharps disposal box. It's just patently unsafe otherwise.

Erica - he knows that very well now. They have sharps boxes, but they just don't always get used, and the boxes are on the ground anyway.

My parents are very frail, mum has dementia, and we live 80 miles from them, so we only see them if we visit - we just manage it, and will do a 3 hour round trip to visit for 2 hours as they can't cope with more anyway.

YABU
You will just have to supervise them very closely, the same as if you took them anywhere else.
I wouldn't cut my blind cords either.

insancerre

ooh, my first biscuit

To the posters saying that "saying No should be enough" what if your child decides not to listen one time? What if that one time they don't listen something tragic and irreversible happens?
Isn't that why adults have the responsibility? Children will very often make silly and dangerous choices because they are children.

How about this www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-safety-blind-cord-lock-away/p389968 - it sticks on:

"Blind safety is a must and a cord lock away raises the height of a cord so that it's out of children's reach, without hindering the blind operationally. Whereas a cleat requires a cord to be painstakingly wound, a cord lock away is a step forward for convenience."

You are not being precious. Precious would be asking them to put thick rugs on laminate flooring in case your child hurts their knees when crawling - best friend, I'm looking at you. Pills on the floor and sharps within a child's reach is ridiculously dangerous.

I know some people think worrying about blind cords is precious but they're such an easy thing to 'fix' and such tragedy can occur with them.

Nope, not precious in the slightest. It's all very well teaching the DC to understand no etc but I have a 22month old DS who is a climber/escape artist/ bolter etc.

I congratulate myself every day at bed time when he is safely tucked up in bed (windows locked, bedroom door bolted and in sleeping bag to tie up his legs) that he is still alive and well

With elderly, infirm parents, you have a difficult situation. I would bring cupboard locks, travel stair gate, decent door wedges, blind clips and a play pen if appropriate. I would also keep DC on reins if necessary. Keep visits short, never go alone and very infrequent until DC grow to a better age.

You have my sympathy OP

You can't just expect the word "no" to keep your children safe.
Small children are constantly exploring. They have no concept of danger.
It is foolish to expect supervision or instructions alone to keep them fe. The environment shouldn't be a minefield.

We used to visit the grandparents once a year as kids, my parents rented a holiday house nearby for the time that we were there, I wonder now if that was partly due to their house being un child proof?

I've stopped visiting the PIL's at Christmas for similar reasons, it's hard work and at Christmas I don't want to be on high alert keeping small DC's away from burning candles and a fire without a guard!

Luckily my parents are hugely accommodating, my Mum has bought a stair gate, sippy cups etc. It does make visiting a lot easier.

It's not just whether your child might get hurt though it is also the fact that it is impossible to relax, you can't spend any time talking to your parents, you are always on edge and it's bloody exhausting. OK with one child becasue you can take it in turns, but with two that means you are both always on duty. fine if you are visiting a friend and it's your choice, or a duty call for a very limited time but visiting family shouldn't be painful should it? Grandparents who love their grandchildren should be OK about being just a little bit put out for a day or two for the safety of the children shouldn't they?

YY Nooka

I agree. Also, toddlers are very different. MY ds was into everything, he was like a human dynamo. It was a full time job keeping him safe. He just did not stop EVER until he was asleep. My dd, however, just sat around my feet as a toddler, playing happily with a tea set for 45 minute stretches. It was much easier, I think if you only had a child like my dd you may not understand how exhausting it could be.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie I understand why people decant bleach etc into another bottle. We buy big containers of bleach and other substances because it's cheaper. It's too heavy to use generally so we pour some into a smaller bottle. I always label them though.

Children should have been taught not to open cupboard doors or touch certain things at home in other people's houses.

NigellasDealer Have you taught your children what 'No' means?