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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was BU? Me, roadworks man or both of us?

61 replies

alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 00:53

My route to visit my parents is almost solely on country lanes

There are usually several road works on my way. So, temporary traffic lights are in place before them. Each time, myself and other vehicles have used them as you would any regular traffic light. No problems.
Except today… usual spot for works has moved up the lane a bit. Red light is on my side of road, so I wait. I am at the very front of a small trail of traffic. Roadworks man starts beckoning me with his hands, to move forward i.e. go through the red light.
I ignore, as I don't want to jump a red light. I'm out of work, I've recently had a £100 fine (from a similar country lane) and it crippled me to pay it. Cars are behind me, but no one is beeping. He keeps on beckoning. In the end I give in and move on, light is still red...
As I go past him, he gesticulates… hand movements to side of his head (indicating i'm not 'right in the head') and of his face. Last time I saw that was on an 8 yr old boy , if you are of a certain age like me (43) and watched Blue Peter as a kid you'll know what I mean. (not PC and not nice, but it was of its time, typical school kid thing in my time)
Except you don't expect this decades on, from a man of approx late 50s- early 60s!
So, who was BU?
Is it ever ok to jump a red light? Was I BU to initially not move when he was beckoning me? Does a road worker have the right to tell you to move on through (red) lights? I am confused!
(My father once did this when lights weren't working. He'd been waiting ages. A policeman promptly appeared and fined him. So you can see my hesitation. )
I've got to go this route all week as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 00:53

I realise I am now over cautious driving, due to recent fine.
But light was red.
But he really pissed me off, my last job was working with people with mental health problems. So rude and unnecessary.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 02/07/2014 00:56

Did you get the name of the road working company. Bang a complaint in. That's not in at all.

OorWullie · 02/07/2014 00:56

Maybe the light was broken and he was controlling the traffic.

He was unreasonable to insult you like that though.

Original poster
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 01:00

I guess it wasn't working but I had to err on caution. Especially after recent fine etc.
As i went past him I slowed down (well i was already slow as i'd been static) I said 'but it was a red light!' and he said not a word. Just gesticulated in that offensive way. So, a simple explanation would have been decent.
I couldnt see a name. But I will look tomorrow. Last year I had a couple of breakdowns after leaving DV.. So I did take it personally. I was mentally unwell, but I'm still a fairly good driver. But there is no excuse. Just a simple explanation about the lights. Grr!!!

OP posts:
mrssprout · 02/07/2014 01:03

I would be very hesitant to drive through a red light but I can't be of any help with what the rules are over there. I can however share my roadworks shame. Many years ago when I had just passed my test I stopped at the stop sign held by a man at the beginning of roadworks. He flipped the sign around to say slow & beckoned me forward. I slowly moved forward & there was a rather large bump but I kept going slowly, after another big bump I looked in my mirror to see the man with head in hands slowly shaking his head. It seems I had just driven straight through the roadworks into the hole made by removing a few layers of road base & then bumped out again & kept going......oops

Original poster
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 01:04

What I mean was, I was mentally unwell, I've always been a fairly good driver, I messed up recently re getting a fine.
I've come along way so for him to imply that..
And what if i was still mentally unwell? I go that route, for my counselling! What if I was driving to visit a mentally ill relative etc. Am i being too sensitive? Obviously because of my recent events it does touch a nerve.
I would have said i was being sensible. He was the one to offer no explanation. i was the one wanting to avoid another fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 01:05

lol mrssprout and probably what I'd have done!

OP posts:
Original poster
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2014 01:06

Well, I will update tomorrow if they're still there! am now tempted to wait there FOR A VERY LONG TIME! Grin

OP posts:
steff13 · 02/07/2014 04:48

In the US, I would consider both unreasonable.

He was unreasonable for making that rude geture.

You were unreasonable for not driving through the light when he directed you to. The only reason he was directing you to go through the light is because he needs to control the traffic for the construction work to go forward. It's commonplace here, I would never even question it.

wowfudge · 02/07/2014 06:39

Hmm - all the roadworks I've seen in the US (quite a lot for a few holiday visits, but not huge numbers) have been controlled by stop/go signs operated by humans, not temporary traffic lights. It's usually pretty obvious when the workers are taking over directing the traffic here, but I understand your reluctance OP. The guy was rude and his gesture was U.

Icimoi · 02/07/2014 06:50

Are the road lights within the control of the workers? If they weren't working I don't get why they wouldn't just switch them off.

SanityClause · 02/07/2014 06:59

He was an arse - but you need to let it go.

Flowers and Brew for you.

SavoyCabbage · 02/07/2014 07:03

When I was about 8 my mam was driving through the Tyne Tunnel when a red light came on.

So she stopped.

Two minutes later a tow truck came and without saying anything to her at all they hoisted the front of her car up and towed her out of the tunnel.

They pulled her into the layby and asked her he if she was in the AA so she told them about the light and drove off.

FindoGask · 02/07/2014 07:03

Could you see a clear road on the other side of the lights? I quite often go through a temporary roadwork red light if I can see a straight road on the other side with no approaching cars. But obviously he shouldn't have gesticulated at you, what a dick.

WaitingForMe · 02/07/2014 07:04

Yes he was rude but if the light had broke and you were the tenth person to act like that I don't really blame him. While offensive the gesture has made OP question her actions which will hopefully see her not hold up traffic next time.

WanderingAway · 02/07/2014 07:10

If the lights were broken they would be switched off. He was just being an arse.

LucindaAsquith · 02/07/2014 07:15

But how on earth was the OP supposed to know the lights were broke??

In your situation OP I would have acted the same.

He was a dick. He didn't have to gesticulating in such a way.

Don't let it get to you.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 02/07/2014 08:08

Hi OP. The gesture is unreasonable and you should complain.

As regards the lights, the law regards them the same as any other traffic lights. Driving through a red except on the instruction of a police constable is illegal. If you could see all the way through, it would be reasonable to go through if and only if you felt it was safe.

Your best bet is to ring your Council's highways department, find out who the contractors are (the lights and cones may be separate from the digging crew) and then ring the guy's boss. He will then fuck his employee six ways from Sunday. I had my car damaged by a cone company and they made it go away IN CASH, because they were terrified of being chucked off the bid list.

HTH.

KirstyJC · 02/07/2014 08:13

If the lights were broken they should have either turned them off or, if for some reason they couldn't, then they should have turned them to the side so that they were obviously not to be used.

The man was extremely rude to gesture as he did and I would definitely complain.

KnackeredMuchly · 02/07/2014 09:03

The lights are set up by the roadworkers, so if they beckoned you I would presume that overrode the red light and would drive through.

So I think yabu.

sanfairyanne · 02/07/2014 09:12

of course you go ahead if the roadworks man is controlling the traffic flow

sanfairyanne · 02/07/2014 09:16

tbh this is quite normal where i live - usually traffic lights control it but sometimes for a few minutes or longer the councilworker has to instead. i have no idea why.

quietbatperson · 02/07/2014 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peekingduck · 02/07/2014 09:31

You should have taken his direction, but he was rude and you should complain. If you complain it will be interesting to see if they think someone beckoning on the far side of a red light is enough for a driver to proceed.

peggyundercrackers · 02/07/2014 09:46

yabu - if he was telling you to go you should have went.