AIBU and silly to think we are older parents and worried about our children:-(

[dottytablecloth]

I just worry that most people I know have had children and families completed long before us.

My mum had her children in her early twenties and she is able to help me out so much now but I worry that when my children need help with Childcare etc, I might be too old and knackered to help.

My husband is 5 years older and this worries me too.

We deliberately left it until I was in a secure job before we had children and to be honest I wasn't ready before.

Have one dc and one on the way, btw.

Honest advice and opinions welcome.

My mum was 32 when she had me and I was 35 for youngest DC. She is a very active granny.

My mum was 28 when she had me and just 58 when I had DS but doesn't do any regular childcare for me- it's not obligatory. She is great at helping out when we are stuck though.

You make your decisions based on circumstance and have no way of predicting the future so no point in overthinking it.

Really don't worry about this! I had my first at 36. I'm thinking of having number 2 soon and I'll be 38 or 39 (hopefully!) when I have another, DH will be 40.

I am around the same age as most of my other 'mum' friends.

I had dd at 37 she is now 4. Dp is 10 years older than me. I wish I hadn't left it so late to be honest. I worry about her being an only one. Mine and dp parents are both late 70s.

I thgought you were going to say 50, not the average child bearing age of 35.

You are about average age for children the ages of yours I'd have thought.

YANBU to worry, that's just part of motherhood, but you do need to put it into perspective and see this as the non issue it currently is.

FWIW, I had my dc in my early twenties, and spent far too much time worrying that I didn't have enough experience to be a good parent. If my children have their children while they're still that young as well, I won't be around to do regular childcare either, I will be off travelling the world like others were doing when I was pregnant and looking after babies!

You're my age. I don't feel that old. I think you're overthinking. My mum was 64 when dd was born. She's very active when babysitting more active than me

My mother was 25 when I was born and I had my first at 25, my parents couldn't help with child care because they were both still working full time. They are 70 now and more than capable of looking after their grandchildren if needed (rarely do because all live a long way away). So from my point of view older may work out better.

Hang on OP I understand your concerns I am 71 today (finally have admitted to it) my youngest DC is eight (adopted) next one 15 also adopted. Age is just a number as some have said life is a lottery and you need to do what you feel comfortable with. Did not start adopting until I was 38.
You are not old despite midwifery mantra!!

OP, it will be just fine. Please enjoy motherhood and try not to worry.

I had DD at 32. Probably won't be having another until I'm nearing 37. Fuck it. I look at my parents who are in their mid-60s and are still fully capable of wrangling a toddler for several days, whereas when my grandparents were in their mid-60s they were old. Genuinely old, even my parents agree with that. People seem younger now than they did.

35 isn't even an older mother medically

My parents had me in their 40s. Yes, sometimes I got a bit embarrassed that they were the same age as other kids grandparents. But it didn't really make any difference to their parenting, and they were fit and active grandparents.

Now they are in their late 80s and struggling somewhat, it's good to be only in my 40s as I can help them a lot when something a bit physical needs to be done, whereas my 60 year old sis finds it harder to be going up ladders and stuff like that.

There are advantages as well as disadvantages to any age parenting.

My parents had me when they were 26 and 27 respectively. They both died (at separate times) before my 18th birthday. All my grandparents (now in their mid-late 80s) are alive, one of whom is pretty much a full-time carer for my severely autistic 5yo cousin.

Not sure my story may prove that much of a comfort TBH

However, it goes to show that nothing is certain, even if you do have your kids young. So (difficult as it may prove) try not to worry about something over which you have no control.

Easier said than done, I know. I'm ten years younger than my mother when she died and I frequently worry that I may not be around to see my DC grow up, simply because I know it's a possibility as it has happened to me! Still, I try not to let it consume me.

Omg Dotty! Lol the a youngster I'm 39 and sum trying to have first! I WISH was 35! 2nd round of ivf coming up! I certainly don't think I'm too old either!