AIBU and silly to think we are older parents and worried about our children:-(

[dottytablecloth]

I just worry that most people I know have had children and families completed long before us.

My mum had her children in her early twenties and she is able to help me out so much now but I worry that when my children need help with Childcare etc, I might be too old and knackered to help.

My husband is 5 years older and this worries me too.

We deliberately left it until I was in a secure job before we had children and to be honest I wasn't ready before.

Have one dc and one on the way, btw.

Honest advice and opinions welcome.

But how old are you??

YABU to start this thread and not say how old you are!

Hmm - I think it is entirely normal for our parents' generation to have started earlier (this does presuppose that you are of a 'certain' generation of course. We all started out with fears and worries, so just go for it, read a few books and make the rest up as you go along...

Alternatively,
YANBU, go back in time and have your children 10 years ago!

Sorry, am feeling a bit sad tonight about this and I forgot the most important info.

I'm 35 (in a month) and husband is 40.

Well my mum had her kids in her thirties. I had kids in my thirties. She is incredibly active and has no trouble looking after my kids.

You can't know what life holds. Any one of us may fall ill or live until the age of 100. We may have excellent health or bad health.

So I would stop worrying!

no way! I am 35 and mine are 6 and 4, and I am one of the youngest mums in the playground! Most of my friends who are the same age as me are just having their first.

Meh. If ds has children at the same age that we had him, I'll be 70. My parents are in their 70's now, and very frail - the ILs are also in their 70's and very active, so I'm not worried

I should not worry I have just had Dd3 at 40. My mum had me at 36, and rarely is her age a problem (though she did just fall down my stairs, but she is ok, and this was as she slipped not due to her age). Mum swims each week and is generally fit and healthy.

Well how old are you op?

I had my first 2 in early twenties, had loads of energy but little patience.

I had my last 2 in later thirties, less energy but loads of patience.

There are no guarantees in this world. The only guarantees are birth and death and noone on earth knows when their time is going to be up.

Enjoy and stop worrying.

My parents had me in their late thirties. They are now 72 and can run about with DS as if they were half their actual age. They are for and healthy - more so because they want to live to a ripe old age to be active grandparents!

Age is arbitrary.

YABU and daft and ageist.

Mine died at 53 and 67. I was 16 and 29 when this happened. I suppose if they'd had me in 1971 not 1981 I'd have been 26 then 39, but they'd still have been too young if you see what I mean.

I had DCs at (almost) 30 and 35. DH was 36 and 41 when they were born. They are now 21 and 16 and our ages have never been a problem.

I have the opposite in that people think its fine to comment that I'm a young mother and look down their nose. Yet I'm married, was working full time before maternity, own my house and planned our baby yet still get negative comments.

As long as you are the best mother you can be , your children won't care how old you are. My grandma is a great grandma and has plenty of energy to play with my dd.

DH and I were 40 when we had our child, who's 19 now. We had no help with childcare as mums were too far away and too elderly. The thought of providing childcare for DD's children does not thrill me, as she's still at home herself, and I work full-time. I'm really rather looking forward to retiring, hut I might change my mind when the time comes

Anyway, you're hardly old. More to the point, and more sadly, no-one knows how long they'll keep their health.

35! Thought you were going to say you were 49.

I had dd at 32 and DS at 35. Dh is ten years older than me. You are at a perfect age for dc. Don't worry!

I was 40 when dc3 was born.

I sometimes worry about this too, but then my parents were young, and all ready to be grandparents and not one of us produced any kids until we were in our late thirties, so they ended up being quite old grandparents!

You can't plan it, life is as it is. You could live to be a healthy 100, or be knocked down by a bus when your kids are still school age.

Dotty - ye worry too much.

As a parent you can't cover every eventuality, you can just do your best.

And the best you can do is just love your children. After that, the cards will fall how where they may.

Parenting ability doesn't match your age!

Although at my graduation (RG, Scottish ancient) it was quite noticeable that the majority of parents were older...

My parents had their DC fairly young (DM was 22 when my brother was born). Sadly though, both died before the age of 70. Dad saw only two of his seven grandchildren, and mum was too unwell to really help with childcare for all but the eldest (my DS1).

On the other hand, MIL had DH at 41 and is still going strong now . She is 80 and fit as a fiddle.

So really you just can't tell. My brother & SIL are worried about this too though - as both were in their 40's when their DCs were born.

tunnock I'm so sorry. I feel awful for worrying about this now, people have much bigger worries.

Tbh I wouldn't even consider a 35 year old to be an 'older parent'.

In the nicest possible way yes you are being silly. 35 is not old. Now just enjoy your dc