to think if you take a child to the seaside you should ensure you look after them and this may involve you getting off your arse a bit?

[MrsMaturin]

Having a minor rant about something we saw at the beach today.

BIG beach, big sea, windy. We are all sitting eating our picnic when a large beach ball blew past about 50 metres away. Followed by a small (5-6 yr old) child crying her eyes out. Roughly level with us the ball picked up speed and we could see she couldn't catch it. Dd2 (13) and dh went off down the beach after it and I went to talk to the kid. I asked her who she was with and she pointed to a group about 400 metres away at the top of the beach. I said we would try and catch it and she just walked off sadly. Dd and dh finally caught the ball after another stranger stopped it - perhaps as much as another 500 metres down the beach and almost in the sea.
I followed the child up the beach. When she was about 20 metres from the group a woman came to talk to her. I followed them back to the group - where woman proceeded to stuff her face with pizza - and said my family had caught it. Mum? then started telling the child to go with me to get it which the child clearly didn't want to do so I started walking back towards dd2. Finally the child followed me and the woman followed her very slowly moving no more than around 25 metres away from the group by the time we returned the ball to the kid who was still choking back her sobs.

Now AIBU to think that:

a) if you take kids to the fecking SEASIDE you should keep half an eye on them and not let them wander unchecked towards the sea and conversations with strange women wearing seriously awful cardis ?

b) if you take kids to the fecking seaside on a windy day it should occur to you to keep a check on stuff that could blow away? Seeing that you're the adults after all....

c) if your child is very, very upset you should show her a bit of loving care and not simply tell her to trudge off down the sand with said stranger?

Beach woman - if you're reading this yes I'm judging you and the other 12 people you were with. Try looking after your kids so other people don't have to By way of contrast we saw another ball being chased by a kid later on. Dad was there too and when she couldn't catch it he took over. I'm a very casual parent but there are limits even to me.

You're probably right.

If you get caught in a rip, best thing is to swim at a 90degree angle across it, parallel with the beach. If you are a strong swimmer, swimming at 45degrees may be do-able. If you are knackered, tread water with arm waving above head to alert lifeguards (assuming you are swimming on a life guarded beach which is sensible if you are not au fait with sea swimming or the currents).

1 cubic metre if water weighs 1 tonne. That alone gives me a healthy respect for the sea.

I've lived by the sea all my life and we (sis and I) spent a lot of time on the beach as children. I do remember being given a lot of freedom to run about, paddle etc, without parents following us about the whole time, but I also remember playing in our inflatable boat (in shallow water) with a massive tow-rope on it and my dad sitting on the shore holding the other end. There was no way we were being carried out to sea! My dad was the sort to let us sit on his lap and steer the car (not on the road!) or he'd build us a go-cart and launch us from the top of a steep hill, but even he didn't take chances with the tides/currents etc.

YANBU - I also think that the beach is quite disorientating and it is easy to get lost. I'm a 1960s/70s child, youngest of 7, frequently went down to the water to play in the sea while family on beach and parents did what the did then which was to let you roam free :) I can frequently remember looking up and having no clue which direction to walk back to up the sand and getting lost. And don't start me on the time my brother and I, aged about 6 and 10, walked across the causeway to the island and then the tide came in....... we had to be rescued by a kindly local with a boat.

I don't think all that is acceptable in this day and age. I guess when we all had big families, a few kids were dispensable.......i am probably only half joking!

This is precisely why I try to avoid trips to the beach with other families. I like to keep close to mine, especially in the water, which seems to give a message to other parents I'm with that I will look after all of the children present for the duration of the beach trip! Keeping an eye on my two while still enjoying the beach is more than enough for me! And when we go as a family our kids know that for some of the time mummy and daddy want to read or we will eat so they just have to play quietly next to us at those times and not go near the water. Difficult to enforce with 10 or so kids of different ages including so and so's friend's nephew who I don't know from Adam.

To the original poster I would probably have done the same thing. I feel your frustration.

A friend wanted to change a playdate into " I'll take them to the beach for the day " I explained this was the only thing I will never be comfortable with so I'll have to say no , not if I can't be there, not a beach. She may have though I was mad but too many things can go horribly wrong on a beach.